“And you agreed?” Graham said. “No sentiment, Ralph? No emotional attachment? Nothing to offer? You?”
“I will look after her,” Ralph assured him. “You need not fear that I will not.”
Graham pushed his glass away, the port untouched.
“Why have you never been able to let them go, those three?” he asked. “You had so much more to give to the world than any of them. You had ideas, ideals, passion. Sometimes—often—I disagreed with you, but I always respected you, except perhaps when you called me a coward. But even then you were speaking out of the depths of your convictions. The others just wanted adventure, action, glory. I liked them—and I mourned them. But you have not been able to recover from their deaths, have you?”
Ralph took a drink from his glass.
“They would not have been there in the Peninsula if it had not been for me and my dangerous ideals,” he said.
“You do not know that.” Graham frowned. “To what degree are we our brother’s keeper? I did not go with you, though I heard your arguments as often and as clearly as they did. I disagreed and made other plans for my future. They did not disagree. It was their right and they acted upon it.”
“But they always agreed with me,” Ralph said.
“That did not make you responsible for them,” Graham said. “One cannot always keep one’s opinions, one’s passions, to oneself, Ralph, for fear one might influence others and they might suffer, even die, as a result. Provided we do not try to coerce others in any way, that is. You never did.”
“I called you a coward,” Ralph reminded him.
“But did I turn my back on all my beliefs and follow you to war just to win your approval?” Graham asked. “Don’t be absurd, Ralph. Boys call one another names all the time. They oughtn’t to do it—it causes pain. But no one is perfect, least of all a growing boy. You do not still call people names, do you?”
Ralph’s smile was a bit twisted. “Why did you agree to a duel and then refuse to take up a pistol, you idiot?” he asked.
“Well, I could hardly refuse,” Graham said. “It was an affair of honor, and I am a gentleman. But violence is abhorrent to me. I cannot stop others using it, but I can stop myself. And you do still call people names.”
They looked at each other and smiled slowly—and then laughed.
“And so you ended up as a clergyman, working in parts of London most people would never dare go,” Ralph said. “And I daresay you walk about the streets without even a club with which to protect yourself. Coward? Never. Idiot? Maybe.”
“And you ended up married to my sister,” Graham said. “Who would have thought it?”
“I will look after her, Gray,” Ralph told him.
“Yes,” Graham said, nodding slowly, “I believe you will. And I believe she will look after you.”
19
“I am so glad you came to London again, Papa,” Chloe said, her hand still linked through his arm as they entered the drawing room. “You have not been back here since—well, since Lucy married Mr. Nelson, have you? It is really not so bad, is it? Although I would have preferred to remain in the country, I am not sorry Ralph persuaded me to come here and face the ton. We have accepted a number of invitations for the coming weeks, and we have begun to organize our own ball, which everyone seems to believe will be one of the grandest squeezes of the Season. You must stay long enough to attend that.”
It was hard to recall all the conflicting emotions that had compelled her to leave home after Christmas, to put some distance between herself and her father at least for a while. But one of the happiest moments of the past few weeks had been seeing him descend unexpectedly from Graham’s carriage at Manville and realizing that he was Papa no matter what.
He patted her hand before releasing it and stepping closer to the fire. He held both his hands to the blaze while she took a seat.
“The Marquess of Hitching is in town again this year with his family,” he told her.
“Oh,” she said. “Is this why you left the dining room with me, Papa? To warn me? But I knew. Lady Angela Allandale was at the theater last evening. I know it was she though no one actually said so. She really does resemble me a little—even I can see that. And there was a swell of sound when she entered her box across from ours. I did not mind so very much, though, you know. Indeed, it will be a relief to meet her face to face one of these days, to be civil to her, to let the ton know that all those rumors are pure nonsense. We will be sending them an invitation to our ball. There is no reason not to. Indeed, it would be remarked upon if we did not, and then the gossip might be revived. You must not worry for me, Papa. Truly you must not. I do not—”
“Chloe.”
He did not turn away from the fire or speak her name loudly, but there was a sharpness to his tone that silenced her.
And she knew what was coming, as surely as though the words had already been spoken. She held up a hand to stop him, but he was not looking at her.
“No father ever loved his child more than I love you,” he said. “I was there with your mother five minutes after your birth, though the midwife protested that neither of you was ready to be seen. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life than the two of you. I named you. Did you know that? You were a tiny ball of precious humanity, and I immediately thought of a small and precious name for you. I did everything a father can do, Chloe, except provide the spark that gave you life. It was . . . Hitching who did that.”