I just wanted some food.
“Excuse me, do you have some change you can spare?” I asked, again and again, to people who passed, getting a nickel here, a quarter there, but most offered me nothing more than repulsion. Get a job. Get out of my face. Fucking scum. Disgusting piece of shit. The words bounced off of me, never getting under my skin, because I was in the city of dreams.
And dreams? I had plenty of those.
It took more than an hour for me to amass a pocket full of change. I sat against a railing in the darkness, out of the way of the crowd, counting it.
I needed four dollars for a coveted hot dog at Nathan’s.
I only had a little more than three dollars collected.
Sighing, I shoved the change back away. I tried to be a good person, I did, but desperation has a way of bending morals. Lying, cheating, stealing... I hated doing it, but sometimes, I ran out of options, and I had to do what I had to do, blurring the lines. Begging relied on the compassion of others, and I’d learned quite quickly that people weren’t always compassionate. I had to look out for myself.
Shadows moved along the boardwalk as I contemplated my next move. A pair of shiny black dress shoes appeared in front of where I sat. Before I could react, a flash of crisp green paper dangled in my face.
I thought it was a dollar... until I saw the zeroes.
A hundred dollar bill.
My eyes darted to the man holding it. He was handsome, almost like a work of art, dark ink coating his fingers and part of his neck, wearing a dark fitted suit, despite the heat.
“Take it,” he said, waving the money at me, his foreign accent thick.
“I, uh... I can’t.” I shake my head. “That’s way too much money.”
He curved an eyebrow. “Too much?”
“I just need like, another dollar. Just enough to buy a hot dog tonight.”
He crouched down, still holding the money. “What will you do tomorrow? And the next day?”
I shrugged. “Same thing I did today.”
“But you will not take my money?”
“No.”
He laughed, like that amused him, before standing back up. “Come on, I will buy you that hot dog you want, pretty girl, and I will not take no for an answer.”
Right there. Right there. Just a few feet from where I sit right now. Kassian Aristov had watched me for over an hour as I begged for change, hungry, before he waltzed into my world and took over my life.
He told me once it was my tenacity that intrigued him. I was steadfast, determined to take care of myself, and that got him curious.
He knew, right then, that I would be his. He wanted nothing more than to break me.
“Excuse me, is someone sitting here?”
I look up at the sound of the male voice... New York accent, thank God. A man stands there—dark hair, light eyes, five o’clock shadow along his jawline. There’s a little girl with him, clutching hold of his hand. Four, maybe five years old, with bright eyes and a big smile, her dark hair French braided.
“No,” I say quietly, offering a smile. “Help yourself.”
“Thank you,” he says as they sit down across from me at the picnic table, settling in with hot dogs and an order of cheese fries with two forks.
“Daddy, look!” the little girl says excitedly, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt and tugging on it as she looks past me, toward the rides. “Look at those things going all round and round still!”
He laughs. “I know, Jenny. I see. We need to eat now, so we can get home. We’ll come back another time, I promise.”
The little girl is too excited to eat, rambling on and on about the amusement park, climbing all over the table, giving her father a hell of a time. She’s not careful at one point, waving her arms all around, smacking her drink over and sending it spilling across the picnic table, splashing me with it.
“Jesus, Jenny, you need to calm down!” the man says, grabbing napkins, trying to clean up the mess, as he shoots me an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry. She got you, didn’t she? She’s just excited...”
“It’s okay,” I say quietly, looking at the little girl, who seems to be on the verge of tears. “I’ve got a daughter. I know how it is.”
“Yeah?” He laughs. “How old?”
“Five.”
“Ah, so you do know how it is.”
“I’m six!” the little girl chimed in.
“Wow, six?” I feign shock. “I bet that means you can count pretty high, huh?”
“To a hundred!” she exclaims. “You wanna hear me do it? I can!”
I’m about to say yes, because you don’t turn down a proposition like that, when her father chimes in. “As much as we’d all love to hear it, baby, we’ve got to get going.”
“Next time,” the little girl tells me, nodding. “I’ll do it when we come back because Daddy said we would!”
I give her a smile. “Make sure you practice.”
“I will,” she says.
Her father shoots me a look that says he might not be too fond of my suggestion, like maybe she already practices too much, but I don’t feel bad for him, not at all.
He doesn’t know how lucky he is.
He doesn’t know how good he’s got it.
What I wouldn’t give to live in a house again swaddled with the incessant chatter of a little girl who just wants you to share in her excitement...
I sit here after they’re gone. Others come and go, resting for a bit before moving on, a few people politely greeting me but for the most part, I’m left alone. Six o’clock approaches, the beach closing.
Getting up, shoving my hands in my hoodie pockets, I keep my head down as I head down the boardwalk. It’s only a few blocks to the police precinct, darkness falling by the time I reach it. Shift change. Officer Rimmel, who usually works the front desk, is walking out, a young guy sitting there instead, one I’ve never encountered.
I always come in the mornings.
I’ve never been here at this hour.
“Hey there,” I say, smiling sweetly, trying to turn on the charm. “Any chance Detective Jones is still in the building? I meant to stop by earlier, and well, I got a little caught up with things and just made it.”
“I’m not sure,” he says, picking up the phone. “I can call up to his office. Who should I tell him is here?”
“I, uh... Scarlet.” Shit. “Any chance I can just run up there quick? It’ll only take a moment. It’s sort of a surprise, if you know what I mean.”
Gabe’s antics are notorious. Even a front desk rookie would know all about the way he is with female visitors. The officer hesitates before hanging up the phone, scowling and motioning toward the elevators. “Go ahead.”
I don’t linger, not wanting him to change his mind, hitting the elevator and heading straight up to the third floor. Gabe is locking up his office to leave when I get there, and I watch, following him to the locker room on the floor.
I slip inside behind him.
His locker’s in the far back, tucked away in the corner. He approaches it, starting to undo the combination lock as I creep closer. He turns the knob, glancing back, a look flashing across his face when he spots me. My stomach drops at the sight of it. Anger. Hunger. Something I don’t like. There’s a sinister twinkle in his eyes. He doesn’t raise any alarms, though, continuing what he’s doing, taking the lock off to open his locker.
It’s a fucking mess in there.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Myers,” he says, his eyes flickering all around me. “You alone?”
“Of course,” I say. “Thought I’d catch you before you left. I felt bad about how I acted last time, bad about how we left things.”
He’s so easy. That’s all it takes. I can see the distrust in his eyes, but he’s not going to pass up an opportunity if he thinks one might exist. As soon as I’m within reach, he grabs ahold of me, dragging me closer. I wrap my arms around him, grimacing when he buries his face in my neck, kissing and biting at the skin.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
I know, I know... ugh... look away.
“Where’s your little attack dog?” he asks, a bitter bite to his voice. “You know, the mutt you sent here to threaten me this morning?”