Talking about things helped as well. When Poppy first moved out she had started going to a therapist to talk about her abuse and her past. The one-on-one sessions hadn’t really helped but she found a women’s group of abuse survivors, and hearing other women tell their stories, seeing some that had had it far worse than she had, made all the difference in helping her make strides toward living an independent life again. Watching her be so brave helped me be brave and it helped name the horrific emotional abuse that I had survived at my father’s hands.
Once it had a title, once the demon had a name, I had an easier time talking to Zeb about it, and even discussing the past with Rowdy. I was a survivor, too, now that I was no longer floating.
I shifted under the covers and sucked in a breath as my still puckered nipples rubbed against the fabric. The lights were off, the door was shut, and I still had the sluggish thrum of desire in my blood. There was an orgasm hovering on the horizon and I figured there was nothing wrong with chasing it down on my own while Zeb was busy. I would just owe him one later. Like that was any kind of chore.
I let my legs drift open and skimmed my hand over my tummy and into the cleft that was still swollen and damp from where Zeb had been working at it. The first brush of my own fingers made me shudder. It wouldn’t take very long at all to get there because my man was extremely good at what he did and I was already primed. I sighed into the darkness as I started to rub slow, agonizing circles around my straining clit. It felt good, but not nearly as good as when Zeb’s rough fingers did it.
I shrieked in surprise when the comforter was yanked off of me and blinked up at Zeb where he stood at the end of the bed staring down at me with a lecherous look on his face.
“Don’t stop on my account. You know how much I like to watch you get yourself off.” He kicked out of his jeans as I stiffened up.
“Hyde?”
“Is out like a light. I didn’t even get halfway into the book. He’s settling. He just needs some time.” A smile flashed in his beard. “If you aren’t going to finish for me, then I’m going to do it for you.”
I shouted his name as he caught my ankle and pulled me toward the end of the bed across the sinfully expensive sheets. Before I could protest he had my legs spread wide and his face buried between my quivering thighs. His tongue was on my clit and his facial hair was brushing enticingly against my inner thighs. I couldn’t breathe.
That orgasm that I had to chase down on my own was back to being right front and center and he worked me over with his mouth and his fingers. I shattered on a deep moan and spilled all across his tongue as he refused to let up on me. He pulled away so he could kiss my belly button and then crawled up and over me so that he could seat himself inside my satiated body.
I wanted to tell him that after that orgasm there was nothing left for me to give him, but like always, I found more because it was him and he was worth everything.
I curled my legs around him and he knelt between my legs and started to work into me with slow shallow thrusts. We watched each other intently as he built the pleasure back up, as he worked the desire like it was a living thing until I was writhing under him again and my body was begging his for release.
He stretched out over me so he could move fast and hard, and before I knew it we were coming together and holding on to each other while we waited for the world to stop spinning.
His face was buried in the side of my neck as I stroked my palms over his painted and toned shoulders.
“Hyde asked me if you would mind if he started calling you his mom.”
The words were soft and maybe the most important ones I had ever heard. They were so much more powerful than the ones my father had spewed.
I cleared my throat and hugged his massive frame with my entire body. “What did you tell him?”
He laughed softly in my ear and moved his chin so that his beard tickled my neck.
“I bet him a hundred bucks that when he asked you it would make you cry.” I wasn’t the only one who knew how to hedge a bet so that the adorable five-year-old would walk away with some cash.
I tunneled my fingers into his hair and held him as close as I could. “You’re gonna owe him a hundred bucks.”
“I figured as much. Hey, Say?”
“Hey, Zeb?” I rubbed my cheek against his and snuggled farther into him. I wanted to stay under him, connected to him like this forever.
“My kid wants you to be his mom, and if there are any more kids in the future I want them to be with you, so you should probably marry me.”
I stiffened under him and took a handful of his hair so I could jerk his head up and force him to look at me.
“Did you just tell me to marry you?”
“Uh . . . yeah. I mean I did just get you off twice in a spectacular fashion, so I figured it would make it harder to say no.” His eyes twinkled at me and he leaned forward and put his mouth on mine. “I gave you the house. You’ve had Hyde’s heart and mine since the very beginning. You know we’ll make beautiful babies and that you’ll be the best mom in the world. Let me give you a ring, Sayer. I’ll make sure it’s classic and colorful. I’ll make sure it’s strong and beautiful. I’ll find a ring that glows from the inside like you do.” He wiggled his dark eyebrows up and down at me. “And when I find it I’ll get on a knee and ask you the right way, but say yes, Sayer. You can be all the other wonderful things you already are, but you can add mom and wife to the list.”