“Ha! Nice try, but I don’t think so.” She continued to talk about her case, but I was only halfway listening. It still struck me as odd that she didn’t want to meet me in person, that she shut down the very thought any time I brought it up.
“Also...” She was still rambling. “I’ll probably have to do some research on those changes. I’m not sure if—”
“Tell me the real reason why I can’t meet you in person.” I cut her off.
“What?”
“We’ve known each other for six months now. Why don’t you want to meet?”
Silence.
“Do I need to repeat the question?” I stood up and walked over to my door, locking it. “Did you not understand me?”
“It’s against the LawyerChat rules...”
“Fuck LawyerChat.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s against the rules for you and me to have each other’s phone numbers in the first place, for us to act like f**king teenagers and make each other cum over the phone at night, but you’ve never complained about that.”
“You’ve never made me cum...”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“You haven’t.”
“So, last week when I said that I wanted you to ride my mouth so I could eat your pu**y until you came all over my lips, you were pretending to breathe hard?”
She sucked in a breath. “No, but—”
“I thought so. Why can’t we meet in person?”
“Because it would ruin our friendship and you know it.”
“I don’t.”
“You’ve told me that you never sleep with the same woman twice, that after you sleep with someone you’re done with her.”
“I’ve never f**ked one of my friends before.”
“That’s because I’m your only one.”
“I’m aware, but—” I stopped. I had no defense for that.
Silence lingered over the line, and I tried to think of another argument.
She spoke up first. “I honestly don’t want to ruin our friendship over one senseless f**k.”
“I guarantee we’ll have more than one senseless f**k.”
Her light, airy laugh drifted over the line, and I sighed—attempting to envision what she looked like. I wasn’t sure why, but over the past few weeks, I’d been longing to experience her laughter face to face.
“You know,” she went on, “for a high profile lawyer, you have a pretty dirty mouth.”
“You’d be surprised how much filthier it can get.”
“Filthier than what I’ve already experienced?”
“Much filthier.” I’d been treading the waters since we began this friendship—still hopeful that we’d meet in person someday, but now that we weren’t, there was no point in holding back. “I guess I’ll talk to you tonight.”
“Not unless you find another date between now and then. I know you’ll be searching.”
“Of course I’ll be searching.” I scoffed. “Is Alyssa your real name?”
“Yes, but I’m sure Thoreau isn’t yours. Do you care to finally give it to me?”
“I’ll give it to you when you come to your f**king senses and let me see you.”
“You just won’t let that go, will you?” She laughed again. “What if the real reason I don’t want to meet you is because I’m ugly?”
“I have a good feeling that you’re not.”
“But if I was?”
“I’d f**k you with the lights off.”
“I prefer the lights on.”
“Then I’d make you wear a paper bag over your head.”
“WHAT?!” She burst into giggles. “You’re ridiculous! Ugh, there’s a client at my door right now. I have to go. Can I call you later?”
“Always.” I hung up, smiling. Then it hit me.
Fuck...She always finds a way out of that line of questioning...
Perjury (n.):
The willful giving of false testimony under oath.
Alyssa (Well, my real name is “Aubrey”...)
“Lies always catch up to people in the end. Why don’t people understand that?” That’s what Thoreau’s text message said this morning.
“You don’t think some lies are justifiable?” I texted back.
“No. Never.”
I hesitated. “So, you’ve never lied to me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because we barely know each other...”
“Only because you keep me at a distance.” He sent me another text before I could respond. “Would you like to know my real name and where I work?”
“I prefer our anonymous arrangement.”
“Of course you do, and I’ve never lied to you. I trust you for some strange reason.”
“Some strange reason?”
“Very strange. I’ll talk to you later.”
I tossed my phone into my purse and sighed, letting that familiar feeling of guilt wash over me. I’d never meant to continue talking to him, to become his friend outside of LawyerChat, but I was in too deep, and I didn’t want to let him go.
Months ago, when I’d spotted the invitation to the exclusive network on my mother’s desk, I swore to only use it when I needed to ask questions for my pre-law classes. I’d used her access code to log in, built a fake profile, and made sure all the questions I asked were weaved in a way that no one would know that they were for homework assignments.