Another tear rolled down my cheek. He had kissed her while we were apart. Twice. But in all fairness, I had told him I'd never forgive him. But he had kissed her twice. "That was a really terrible plan," I said.
He nodded. "I seem to come up with a lot of really terrible plans when it comes to you." He shook his head.
"Well, it didn't work anyway because I do forgive you."
He brought his hands to my face, cradling it gently. "She told me what she said to you that day you left my apartment. It was a twisted version of the truth, Lydia. Since the day you walked into my office, I haven't been intimate with anyone except you. I haven't desired anyone except you. And that's sort of an understatement." He leaned his head down and put his forehead against mine, letting go of my face, our fingers lacing as our arms lowered.
I closed my eyes briefly, overcome with the memory of the rollercoaster of emotions of that day. I told him about Daisy calling with the news her husband was cheating, about Stuart coming over, and then Courtney showing up.
"Jaysus. No wonder," he said. And he told me about Stuart bringing his folder to his office that day, about how he'd told Brogan I had given it to him, a revelation that made me gasp with horror.
"No," I breathed. "I would never have done that. He must have taken it," I said, looking to the side, envisioning that day. "He followed me to my room, and he must have seen it and—"
"I know, Lydia. I already figured that out."
My eyes searched his, seeing the truth of his forgiveness there—forgiveness I hadn't even realized he was struggling with, forgiveness he'd bestowed before even knowing the truth. Brogan. I clenched my eyes shut with the pain of it all, with my own shame for making him wait for mine. We still had things to talk about, but . . . I knew in my heart everything was going to be okay. Still, regret gripped me.
"I should have talked to you. I should have trusted you."
He shook his head. "I should have charged to where you were and demanded you talk to me and answer my own questions that very day. If I had, I wouldn't have been in my office that night. And before that, I should—" I let go of one of his hands and brought two fingers to his lips.
"Let's not do this anymore. No more I should haves, no more keeping track of wrongs. Love doesn't keep a tally. Love doesn't seek to punish. I forgive you with my whole heart. And if you forgive me, then let's move forward from here. Let's trust each other. Let's be honest with each other, even when it's hard. Especially then."
"I didn't know how I was going to live without you, Lydia. I didn't know," he said, his voice hoarse. “I love you. That's my truth. It's always been my truth."
I smiled, my lips trembling, my heart soaring. "I love you, too."
He let out a breath, pressing his lips to mine, but not moving, as if the contact itself was all he could handle in that moment.
I brought my hands to his hair. "More," I whispered.
"More truth?" I smiled and though I'd meant more kissing, I didn't correct him. He kissed me briefly and pulled back, smoothing my hair.
"I want to have sleepovers with you every night for the rest of my life." He smiled gently. "I want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your face each morning. Someday, I—" he broke off, clearing his throat as he brought his arms around me, "I want to make another baby. I want a family. With you—only you. I want to love you and care for you and make you happy. I want to be your hero."
"Brogan," I said shakily, swallowing heavily. Tears spilled as relief and happiness flowed through every cell of my body.
"Tell me you want the same," he said, his voice an ache-filled whisper. "I'd get down on my knees and beg ya if ya wanted me to."
I shook my head back and forth, my gaze holding his. "I'd never ask it of you, Brogan. Never." The look that passed over his face was one of such raw tenderness, it caused my heart to clench.
"I know, Mo Chroí. Yes, I know."
At the sound of the name he'd called me all these years on his lips, I let out a small gasp of joy. I'd heard it before, but now I knew what it really meant and it made me dizzy with love. My heart.
"I want all the things you want, too. And God, I want to hear you call me Mo Chroí for the rest of my life. Every day." Brogan's mouth claimed mine then, his tongue entering me, as we both sunk to our knees, our hands moving over each other almost desperately. He released what felt like a small chuckle into my mouth and I pulled back in question.
"What?" I asked. He gazed at me lovingly. "I was just thinking that it's really cold in here, and I'd like to get you to a warm bed." His smile grew. "And that being down on my knees isn't really such a bad place to be when you're down here with me."
I laughed, pulling him close and resting my head against his chest as he nuzzled my hair.
After a minute we stood up and I looked around. This room. Warm joy filled my chest, the feeling that tonight, we'd come full circle.
The first time we'd left here, our hearts had both been broken and shredded. Tonight, those hearts had been put back together, restored. Complete.
Yesterday, today . . . and finally, finally, the miracle of tomorrow. I grasped Brogan's hand in mine and we walked out together.
EPILOGUE
Almost Two Years Later
Brogan
We were married beneath the sycamore tree next to the stable. This time, I was the one who waited for her. My bride arrived on Fionn's arm, wearing a white lace gown and a glowing smile, holding a simple bouquet of hydrangeas. Her beauty stole my breath. But then, it always had.