My heart warmed and my stomach churned in unison.
I needed to go in and say hi.
I needed to see her.
Pulling down the visor and popping open the mirror, I glanced into my eyes. The same ones she had. We were a part of each other, and though we were technically complete strangers, I loved her with every piece of me. Thoughts of Beau may have filled most of the seconds of my day, but she filled the spaces between the seconds.
A blue minivan turned down the street and pulled up next to my car, rolling the window down. “Dakota! You came!”
Rebecca’s wide mouth turned into an excited beam as she hopped a little in her seat and motioned toward her house. A second later, she rolled up her window and zoomed into the driveway of the white colonial.
She climbed out of her van and hurried around to the lift gate, pulling out brown paper bags and smiling like the happiest homemaker to ever live in Darlington, Kentucky.
“Just getting back from the store,” she said as we headed into her house. “Perfect timing. Please tell me you’re staying for dinner.”
“Oh, I didn’t plan on it,” I said, trying to be polite. “I just wanted to stop by real quick and say hi. I don’t want to impose.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re family,” Rebecca said.
We stepped into her kitchen, and warm, soft air enveloped me with the faint scent of vanilla and apples. Her immaculately clean and beautifully modern kitchen was like a picture from a magazine. It was a vision of sparkling gray and white marble, alabaster cabinets, a farmhouse sink, Viking appliances, and windows galore with views into their enormous backyard and sparkling in-ground pool.
“We haven’t seen you in years! We have so much catching up to do,” Rebecca said, dropping an armful of bags onto the counter in one heave.
My eyes focused on a backpack hanging from the back of a kitchen chair. Blue butterflies with pink piping and the name “MABRY” embroidered across the back. A flutter filled my empty stomach, though I willed it away as quickly as it’d appeared.
“Sam’s around here somewhere,” Rebecca said, a gallon of skim milk in one hand and a container of strawberries in the other as she stocked the faultlessly clean shelves of her refrigerator. “Gosh, it’s so good to see you.” Rebecca paused for a moment, beaming at me and taking me in all at the same time, before returning to her groceries. A hint of marionette lines wrapped the corners of her mouth and pencil-thin creases raked across her forehead. We were cousins – our mothers were sisters – but she was ten years older than me. Her mother had married well and made the kind of life choices that allowed Rebecca to follow cleanly in her footsteps without missing a beat. “Sam! Sam, come to the kitchen!”
I gripped the cool marble countertop of the island as my feet anchored to the charcoal slate tile of her kitchen floor, and I pulled in an empowering breath.
“Such a beautiful day, isn’t it?” Rebecca mused, pausing to glance outside. “Mabry’s usually out playing, but her dad’s home today. He usually makes her do her homework first before she can play. She’s got a book report due tomorrow on Beezus and Ramona. I don’t see the harm in letting her get some fresh air first. They’re only little once, right?”
Her words were a stark reminder of everything I’d missed in the last ten years. A grimace threatened to claim my lips, but I quickly replaced it with something that resembled a carefree, agreeable smile.
Footsteps padded behind me, and my heart skipped a beat before galloping wildly in my chest. I slowly turned around, my nerves calming the moment I saw it was only Sam.
With hair the shade of white gold, skin like porcelain and eyelashes to match, Sam immediately wrapped me in a tight hug. “Dakota. My goodness. So great to see you. It’s been so long.”
I hugged him back, closing my eyes briefly and secretly imagining how it might feel to have him as a dad – as if I were Mabry. He hugged like one. Unapologetic. Tight. Breathing in a lungful of his aftershave mixed with the breezy scent of line-dried cotton, I released him.
“Wow, you haven’t aged a bit,” Sam said, his brown eyes washing over me. “You look really great. You know, we watch you on T.V. every Saturday.”
“No kidding?”
“Of course we do,” Rebecca chuckled. “We’re so proud of you. Sam brags about you all the time to the other doctors at the clinic. There’s even one doctor there who’s been begging for an introduction. He’s got a bit of a crush on you!”
My cheeks reddened as I humbly glanced away. “Funny.”
I’d forgotten how easy it was to be around Sam and Rebecca. Their relationship was natural and organic, and their demeanors warm and fuzzy. They were bubble gum and apple pie. Sunday school and Fourth of July parades. Bedtime stories and butterfly kisses. Grand Canyon vacations and Father’s Day barbeques.
And that’s why I picked them.
“Mama?” a lilted voice piped from across the room. “Who’s this?”
The three of us turned almost in unison, and all eyes were on the petite little thing with long satin brown hair and bright blue eyes that matched mine freckle for freckle.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Rebecca said, opening her arms wide as Mabry ran straight into them. Rebecca ruffled her hair before combing her long fingers through some little girl tangles and sweeping it out of her sweet face.
God, was she beautiful. Mabry was the most splendid thing I’d ever laid eyes on in my entire life. I’d seen her in pictures, watching her grow up from day one. I had hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures of her and countless letters all sent via email by Rebecca. I’d insisted early on that she didn’t have to do that so often, but she told me I’d appreciate it someday. She’d assured me there would come a day when I would feel better about my decision, and I’d be forever grateful to have known she was placed in good hands and grew up happy and loved.