When that left me empty, my nights were wasted on expensive bottles of scotch and any nameless, willing bodies I could find, fucking myself into oblivion.
Like it might hold the power to erase what I’d left behind.
The proof of it was huddled right there, grinning up at me like I might be a good guy. Someone she could trust.
Not the pathetic piece of shit who was responsible for getting her and her mother into this situation.
Not that Joseph hadn’t done a bang-up job of getting them there, himself.
“All right then, no bad magic. Just good magic. Do you have a book like that?”
Warily, I glanced around, catching Faith who was standing at the doorway like this was causing her as much grief as it was causing me.
I ripped my attention from her and turned it back on the little girl. She was frowning at me. “No, silly.”
There she went what that adorable drawl, dropping the ‘l’s’, looking at me like I was crazy. “You tells the story in your head.”
Right.
Okay.
I gulped all the uncertainties down and made up the most ridiculous story I could conjure.
One about five magic unicorns who protected a little girl. A little girl who wandered and got lost.
About how scared the unicorns were that they couldn’t find her.
So what if I hid a message right in the middle of it.
She’d scared the hell out of both of us today.
I wanted to beg her never to do it again.
But it was what Mack had called and told me about this afternoon that left me vibrating with barely contained rage.
The need to hunt some fucker down barely controlled.
Someone had been in Faith’s car. Left another threat.
Right out in the fucking open.
The only thing I wanted to do was stop this. It made me feel worthless that I didn’t even know where to start.
The only thing I could do was be here.
A soft giggle filtered from Bailey, something like belief in her gaze where she had her head angled to the side, staring back as I let the story fall from my tongue.
“You a magic unicorn?” she asked me like she’d plucked that message right out of the story. “You gonna sway aww the bad dragons?”
A clusterfuck of emotions ripped at me from all sides.
“I’m going to try,” I told her.
I still wasn’t sure how to deal with them, but I knew I had to push through. Deal with this, with this feeling, until I knew they were safe.
I owed them that.
I owed them everything.
I could feel Faith behind us.
Watching us.
Could feel the torment radiating from her.
I wanted to stand. Go to her. Tell her everything was going to be okay.
That I was going to take care of them both.
“You better get to sleep now,” I told Bailey, agitation swelling.
She climbed down under the covers. “You be here in the morning?”
“Yeah, I’ll be here in the morning.”
“You make me breakfast?”
God, this kid.
Deeper and deeper.
“Sure.”
“Pop Tarties?” It was all eager, hopeful question, like she was wondering if I could even manage that, or maybe she was just like I’d been as a kid, stealing every sweet I could find.
I locked the direction of that thought down fast.
Mock offense had me dropping my mouth wide open. “What? You don’t think I can cook you a real breakfast?”
Her head shook, letting me know my cooking skills were definitely being called into question. “Grampa says toasters are made for men.”
The second she mentioned him, old hatred ripped through my veins.
Spite and animosity.
A bolt of a memory that cut through me like a bullet. A slap of words that had stung like a bitch.
“Stay away from her? You hear me?” His face had been contorted in disgust. “You aren’t worthy of her, and I won’t stand aside and let you get her dirty.”
I wasn’t that pathetic kid anymore. But it sure as hell wasn’t like I was any better.
Cringing, I shook the memory off, mentally scraping it from where it’d been etched like a scar into my skin. I wasn’t going there. I had a better use for the bitterness that remained.
Besides, could I have blamed Faith’s father? I hadn’t done anything but prove him right.
“Well, I don’t know that much about your grandpa, but this guy right here has had to take care of himself for a long, long time. I know my way around the kitchen.”
“You gonna take care of me?” she asked, all bright and shining anticipation.
I gulped around the impact of it. Like she just trusted me to. Without question.
“I’m going to try to,” I mumbled, knowing I was a damned fool. Such a damned fool. “God knows, I’m trying.”
I muttered the last.
“How abouts eggs and bacons?” she offered. “And owange juice?” Her face lit up in unfound glee.
Yeah. Like I was going to reject that.
I ruffled my fingers through her hair, trying to ignore the tug at my spirit. “Yeah, sweet one, you can have whatever you want.”
Her eyes went wide, but her voice tipped to a whisper. “And a cookie?”
Oh shit.
I’d walked right into that one.
“Maybe after you eat all your breakfast.”
“Deal,” she drawled in that sweet way.
God, this kid was going to do me in.
Tentative footsteps edged up from behind, and I forced myself to standing, my gaze tangling with Faith’s for a beat.
Tension and need and pain.
I tore my attention away and looked back at her daughter. “Goodnight, Bailey.”
“Nights,” she said, and I backed away, into the darkness.
Doing my best to run from the light.
Maybe Joseph was still playing the puppeteer, after all. Pulling these fucked-up strings and dangling what he’d had in my face.
All the while laughing his ass off from somewhere on the other side.
One last begrudging kick to the gut as he reminded me what was his.
What he’d taken from me.
Because watching Faith kneel at the side of her bed? Run her hands through that little girl’s hair? Whisper her love?
I’d never felt as if I had less than right then.
Destitute.
Penniless.
Impoverished in a way that hollowed me out.
Sixteen
Faith
I kissed my daughter’s forehead, fighting with all of me against the sorrow I’d felt at seeing Jace with her that way.
Fighting against the way she was lookin’ at him.
As if he might be the sun.
As if he might be there to fill a little of that void that echoed through these walls.
It was all so hard to ignore as she hugged that Beast doll tighter.
Her security blanket.
I tried with all my might to ignore it, to forget the night he’d given it to me and focus on the day when she’d found it buried under a pile of old clothes in the back of my closet.
I lifted the sheets, and she snuggled in. I ran my fingers through her soft, soft hair.
My mind was still spinning with the tale Jace had spun for her. As if he already knew her. The man telling her the type of sweet fantasy she loved so much.
One where everything was good and right and bad never prevailed.
I wanted it to be the truth.
So badly, I wanted it to be the truth.
But the reality was that we lived in an evil world.
One where hearts got broken and our dreams got smashed.
Ones where daddies sometimes didn’t come home after they’d promised they’d be right back.
I stayed there with her, needing the space, the time with her.
The distance from Jace.
I knew him being here was going to be hard. I’d just had no idea how much.
Bailey finally fell asleep while I just knelt there, and I leaned up, kissed her forehead, and then ran my nose along the softness of her cheek.
Heart pressing full.
So full.
So perfect.
“Good night, Bailey Button.”
God knew, she was the hook that kept everything together.
Slowly, I climbed to my feet, quiet as I moved across the floor.
A shiver of awareness skated over me the closer I got to the door.