Staying so many nights at Nick’s house over the past week since the trial ended had rubbed off on her. She checked her doors and windows again before going to her bedroom to start a new box. Slightly creepy, knowing some stranger had been out here the night of the fire. Her gaze jerked to the window. Just a heavy wind bringing down deadwood left over from winter, but a shiver ran through her just the same.
It hadn’t taken long for the judge’s decision to come back. After further implicating the dirty city officials, new evidence had surfaced proving Dave had paid someone to set the fire as a way to drive her out. No farm, no public sympathy. And worse, his plan to pin it on Stephen. She thought of the pain and disillusionment Stephen must have felt, being betrayed by someone he thought he knew so well.
Goodwin had worked the front end, making sure no one but Trace had a chance to buy the property, Dave specifically. And Dave was to take over the other end, building a private airstrip he would control to traffic illegals. Embarrassed, the city was eager to have another name on the deed, ending all association and washing their hands of it entirely.
Dave faced multiple charges. Stephen was cleared. And she’d still lost.
Her job. Her home. Her purpose. Funny how just a few months ago that had seemed like everything. Then Stephen had come along and…Now she felt like she’d lost even more.
The one man she thought could love her. Could it have all been an act? Could he have looked at her scars inside and out the way he had if he didn’t care about her at all?
She didn’t know. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since that day outside the courthouse. It hurt. Being wrong about him, and worse, missing him. She had to fight not to break down and cry in front of her brothers, who’d upped their hovering a hundred notches.
She’d taken a chance. Stephen had been her try. Maybe her first and last because she didn’t know if she’d ever try again. If she’d ever trust someone enough or if she even wanted to.
With only ten days to vacate, she’d been busy, spending her days at the barn, her evenings packing. All the boarders had been retrieved, along with the money she’d taken for the month.
Lexie knew a friend of a friend who ran a riding school and was willing to take Hazel, Big Ben, and Mr. Ed. It was more than two hours away, but it was free. She was still hoping to find a barn she could afford to board Winnie, but that was looking more and more unlikely. Winnie would go with her buddies and be ridden every day by other people. People who didn’t know her whistle or where she liked to be scratched.
With another box filled, she picked up the tape and turned on the TV to drown out the silence. The cabin she loved felt depressingly empty.
No different really than it had always been, but she’d quickly grown used to the sounds of someone else moving about. Not just anyone. Stephen’s scent, the sound of him in the kitchen, his heavy footfalls across the floor. The dip in the mattress and the warmth from his big body curled around hers.
She wouldn’t be here much longer. Soon she’d be somewhere new, without memories of Stephen. She taped the box shut, wishing it were that easy to box up her feelings.
She decided she was finished for the day and rewarded herself with a long hot shower. She no longer closed her eyes or waited for the steam to blur her image in the mirror. She could look at herself and see beauty and survival instead of the ugliness of a nightmare. Whatever else had happened, Stephen had given her that.
—
Stephen looked out the window of Matt’s office thinking of the last time he’d stood here, watching Hannah arrive at Gracie’s party. How surprised he’d been, how relieved. He should have known then that the clenching in his gut was more than just desire.
“When are you going to ask about Hannah?”
He turned to face his brother, realizing now that’s why he’d come. “I don’t know what to ask.”
“I’ve seen her. Once. Took Gracie out to say goodbye to Hazel. She cried.” A smile pulled at Matt’s lips. “Gracie. Not Hazel.”
“You should buy the girl a pony.”
“Maybe I will.”
“And Hannah?” Had she cried?
“Hannah was quiet, looked tired.”
“I guess she wouldn’t be happy, giving up her horses. I tried to give some money to Nick, but…”
“I offered too. To board them somewhere nearby, but she wouldn’t hear of it.” Matt shrugged. “She wants to take care of it on her own. Maybe she needs to. But, I don’t think that’s the only reason she wasn’t happy.”
Stephen just shook his head. Did he really want to hear that she was unhappy? That he might be the cause of it? Would it change anything?
“Why are you so afraid to love her?”
“I’m not.” He was afraid to ask her to love him.
“I think you are. I think you’re terrified of loving to the point you’re brought to your knees, to the point you risk it all.”
No. That wasn’t it. He was terrified of Hannah seeing something inside him she couldn’t accept and that would kill him. “Hannah was tortured by a monster and—”
“And don’t you think that after everything she’s been through, if she was willing to take the risk, then you should too?”
“Not if she doesn’t know what she’s taking a risk on.”
“That’s so much bullshit, Stephen. What’s the risk? That you’ll kill someone? Is that what you think of now? What’s the first thought that comes to your head if I told you someone had hurt Hannah?”