Yeah. She should’ve kept that to herself. I counted backwards from ten before meeting her gaze, “Or maybe some things aren’t your business and sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong speaks volumes about you.”
Her cheeks immediately flushed. I’d driven my point home and I knew I had been harsh. I wasn’t a mean guy, I controlled my temper most of the time, but I couldn’t stop myself on this occasion. Bray would’ve lit her ass on fire and left her in scalding tears. His temper could burn down a whole damn forest. But I had gone too far.
“This isn’t easy. We’re dealing with it the best we can. Having others who don’t know the whole story give their opinions is, well, it’s unkind, Hannah. There’s so much shit you don’t know.” I was trying to ease the sting of my words and realized that I might have only made it worse.
She nodded. “Of course. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t have a filter on my mouth. My momma has always said that.” She looked forlorn and I hated myself for making her feel that way.
The fact she owned up to her actions made me respect her a little more. Hannah wasn’t a bad person. “We all say shit we wish we could take back, Hannah,” I replied, offering her a small smile.
She smiled back. “Thanks,” she returned, her cheeks still pink.
“I can appreciate it when someone knows they’ve messed up and owns up to it. I don’t always do that myself. Not many people do.”
Her soft laughter was attractive and genuine. “I have a very blunt mother. She takes no shit, and I guess it’s helped me in my life, without me even knowing it.”
“I figure you’d be the same either way. My momma shuts us down fast, no punches held, but not all my brothers have learned much from that. Some did, others didn’t.”
Hannah smirked, “I’d say you and Bray, for one, are nothing alike. I remember him from high school.”
I gave her a nod and said, “None of us are like Bray, he’s different from us all. Dallas, however, is running a close second on the smartass scale the older he gets.”
“Bray looks hot while he’s being nasty. I’m sure that helps with all the girls he goes out with.”
“Like a charm,” I assured her while smiling.
She laughed again. It was pleasantly appealing. Not annoying or grating for once. Hannah would make it just fine in this world. Getting to know her was nice. I could admit she was attractive and I liked more than just her looks. But my heart was not in it. When I left here today, I wouldn’t think of her again until I returned to work tomorrow. Her face wouldn’t stay in my mind, her smile would fade ever so quickly. Only one face always stayed with me, even when I prayed to God for some reprieve.
Dixie Monroe
WORK WENT ON and on. All day I’d thought about this morning’s encounter with Steel. With relief also came sadness. He’d looked at me with such hate. That was hard to accept because I didn’t want him to hate me. Steel was special to me, but I understood his reaction. I didn’t want him to regret the moments we’d spent together, but wanting Steel to remember me fondly was selfish of me. If he needed to hate me, then I had to accept it. I would hate me, too.
I finished cleaning up the salon and wiping down the tanning beds, which was the part of my job that I hated the most. When it was ready for reopening tomorrow, I locked up and stepped outside, coming face to face with a very drunk Steel leaning against my Jeep.
“You’re either stupid or just a bitch. I can’t figure it out.” Steel slurred as I slowly approached him. I stated the obvious, “You’re drunk.” He cackled loudly, responding as if it were a mystery, “Oh, she’s a sharp one, folks. Guess she’s not stupid after all. Just a bitch. A mean ol’ bitch.”
It stung hearing Steel call me a bitch, but he was drunk and hurting, so I couldn’t let it get to me. Instead, I tried to be sensible, “Get in the Jeep. I’ll drive you home.”
He gave me an incredulous look. “You think I’d get in that Jeep with you? Shit, girl, maybe you are stupid. I want nothing to do with you. Nothing! You hear that, Dixie Monroe? N-O-T-H-I-N-G!”
I could have pointed out that he was here to see me. That I hadn’t gone after him. But I was dealing with a drunk man. I saw no point in arguing with him. “You can’t drive like this.”
He pushed off from my Jeep, held his arms wide, then revolved in a dizzying circle, spinning while flapping his arms a little. “Do you see my motherfucking truck? Do you? No, you don’t. How you reckon I’m gonna drive it if it aint’t here?”
Steel was right. No evidence of a truck. “So you’re just walking around drunk?”
“Ain’tyourproblemwhatthefuckIdo,” he snarled, but the way his words ran together, it didn’t sound as angry as he hoped.
“Steel, you’re here at my Jeep. I must wonder why? If I’m a stupid bitch . . .” I was not going to reason with a drunk man. I should text Brent and have him come get Steel. Bray wasn’t around lately and wouldn’t care if he remained on foot. And Asher . . . well, Asher was no longer someone I could contact. Yesterday, he’d made that as clear as it had ever been.
“Wanted to see if you were planning on running to Asher now that you’re free of me.”
“No, Steel, I’m not. Asher doesn’t want me. He made that clear to me. I broke it off with you because you deserve to be loved by someone who is not me. With their whole heart, and not only half of one.”
He released a nasty laugh. “Yeah. Fuck that. I don’t want anything to do with love. I’m over it. I can drink and fuck my way through life. Sounds a helluva lot more fun than dating you.”
I tried to hide the humiliation he made me feel with his words because Steel had more substance than that. He was kind and could love someone for life. Steel could give a woman a home and a family. I knew that. It had been one of the reasons why letting him go had been so hard. But that woman should be able to offer the same in return. I’d never been able to do that with him. His brother always stood between us and would’ve probably stayed there forever.
“You’re meant for more than bars and one-night stands.”
He stared off down the road as the cars whizzed by, “I thought so, too, but you know what, Dix, I think I’ll like bars and a different woman every night just fine. That actually sounds good to me.”
I guessed all men needed to be a little reckless before they finally settled down. This might have been Steel’s time to have a taste of that life. But I knew it wouldn’t make him happy. At least not forever. Daddy always said a man sowed his wild oats before he realized that the love of one woman was all he needed to thrive. When I’d been with Asher and thought we’d always be together, Daddy would warn me outright, “Don’t be planning a wedding and babies, Dixie. That boy has wild oats to sow before he’s ready for that. He goes out and comes back to you in the end, then it’s a love you can trust. You need to date other men, too. Might be more to life than Asher Sutton.”
I hated hearing him tell me that. I would roll my eyes and ignore it. I couldn’t stand the idea of Asher being with anyone else. But that was when I thought fairytales came true, when I believed Asher was my future. My focus then returned to Steel, “Then I guess you can go see if that’s the life you want. It’s not my place to tell you what is right for you. You’re a grown man.”
He turned to me, straightening his torso. “I just might thank you one day. For breaking my fuckin’ heart.”
I had nothing to say to that. He began walking toward the town center. Or rather, swaying toward it. I considered following him, calling Dallas maybe to yank Steel from the street, when Asher’s blue truck suddenly emerged from around the corner. The Sutton boys always took care of their own. I was no longer needed so I climbed in my Jeep and quickly drove away. Asher didn’t want to see me. Steel even less. He’d said what he couldn’t say sober.
I also felt a little better. This morning left me raw, the wound remaining wide open, but Steel’s words made sure that it would begin to heal. Steel had been an important part of my life for a year. We’d become a couple. And I wanted us to work, until Asher came back. Now I knew that had been a lie all along. Steel would now be a part of my past, and maybe one day I could remember this and not feel sad about it. But that’d be a while from now.