Security protocol varies on school grounds. Depending on the client, a bodyguard might just be around for the drop-off and pick-up. I’m betting hers was in the school parking lot or nearby.
But not the whole team.
“Their snickering was always the worst,” Jane clarifies, arms loose around her legs. “Between each question…they’d laugh like I didn’t realize I was the butt of the joke. It was shrill and…ugly.”
I’m clenching my jaw. “Fucking shitheads.” I set my glare on the drapes because it’s caustic as all hell. And I don’t want to glare at Jane. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.” I push myself to add more and I try to soften my gaze.
I look back at her when I do. “I hope you know that you’re a strong person, Jane. I don’t think you hear it enough from people who aren’t your family.”
She has her knuckles to her lips, an overwhelmed smile forming. “I suppose I don’t because that felt…really nice.” She swallows hard, eyes reddening. “Can you stay a little longer?”
I check my watch. Nineteen hundred hours. Too early in the night. I should go back to security’s townhouse soon—fuck it.
“I can stay.” With a stringent stride, I head to the door and lock it. Just so Farrow and Maximoff can’t storm inside and catch me holding her.
Jane watches me yank off my boots. “When did you know you wanted to be in the military?”
I set my shoes near her nightstand. Closest to the bed in case I need to jam my feet into them and move out. “I was adamant that I’d enlist around twelve, thirteen. Banks, not so much.”
“How come?” she wonders.
I explain how my brother wasn’t sure he wanted to follow me. “We were going through a period where we felt like we had to have different interests in order for people to treat us like separate individuals.”
Banks is the one who plays basketball.
Thatcher is the one who plays football.
Really, Banks hated basketball. Couldn’t make a free throw if our grandma’s life depended on it. He was good at football like me, and then in high school when we both joined the team, it became who’s better at football?
I take off my holstered gun. “It just took him a while to accept that he wanted to enlist in the Marine Corps too, and that was okay.” It doesn’t make us the same person.
I place my weapon on the nightstand. I’m about to move closer, but Jane suddenly says something that I don’t hear often from people outside my family.
“You have immensely different personalities to me.”
I stare at her firmly. A breath stuck in my chest. Wanting to know more, and I don’t have to ask. She’s already telling me.
“You’re logical. You take charge of situations, and you’re very disciplined and regimented. I think that Banks has more of a creative-brain. He also seems more apt to go with the flow than shoulder what you carry. There’s more, of course. I think people are dreadfully complex creatures.”
I nod slowly, stunned. That was really accurate.
She tips her head in thought. “You remind me of Moffy—but that’s not why I’m attracted to you.” She speaks quickly, hands raised. “It’s just an observation. You both share some of the same qualities. Like how you shoulder responsibility and your stoicism—” Jane cuts herself off when I climb onto the bed and take her hands in mine, holding her burning cheek.
“I know what you meant, honey.” I think Maximoff Hale is a better man than I’ll ever be. He’s compassionate in ways that I struggle to outwardly show. But I love my country and I love my family and her family and her , and I’ve put my life on the line to protect all of them.
Her lips are a breath from mine, and my hand descends the length of her leg. I pull her further down the bed, our noses brushing while I stay close.
The air around us has a pulse. My blood pumping with each heavy beat, and our eyes dive deeper. Grasping something crucial, something critical that neither of us is saying yet.
A feeling.
An emotion, and I shouldn’t touch it. Shouldn’t near it.
Bearing my weight on my forearm, I hover over Jane. My large frame shielding her, our legs woven, our lips skimming like a hot breath over the surface of a steaming lake.
Her small hands roam my cut muscles, then linger on my ass.
I whisper against her lips, “My cock isn’t going in your pussy yet, Jane.”
Her breath shallows. “Yes…not yet.” But our carnal eyes want deeper physically. I tuck her against my build, and I sink my shoulders back into the pink duvet. My head on the pillow.
She nestles into the crook of my arm while I hold her. Her warm freckled cheek on my chest, she eyes the radio on my waistband and the cord that runs to my earpiece.
Comms are still on. An SFA argument is still in my ear, regular background noise in my life. Just like camera clicking and paparazzi screaming are hers. “I can’t turn off comms until I get word about Nate,” I explain to Jane.
Her lips rise, but just for a moment. “Do you think of the night often…the one where Farrow caught…” She takes a measured breath and looks up at me, resting her chin on her arm. Which is across my chest. Her voice softens to a whisper. “Where he caught Nate destroying Moffy’s room?”
Blood.
There was blood everywhere. I can still fucking see Farrow and Nate covered in it. Animal blood.
“Yeah. I think about it.” My eyes sear, but I have trouble letting emotion through. “The worst nights of my life tend to stick around.” I think she needs me to go first. I see this look in her eye like she’s afraid.
But she wants to talk about Nate, and I’d rather crawl through barbed wire first and push it out of the way.
So I don’t ask her anything yet. I keep my arms wrapped around her shoulders and lower back. Waiting for her next question.
She searches my gaze. “What was the worst part about it for you?”
“Having to leave with security once the house was secured. Not being able to be with you after.” I breathe a constricted breath, my nose flaring, and I know she can feel my muscles clenching. “But I couldn’t be with you like that.”
She knows why.
Her eyes redden more. “Just knowing…” She swallows. “Knowing that you wanted to be next to me, that means a great deal.”
I nod and brush her damp hair off her cheek, strands already frizzing.
“It’s not what I thought you were going to say,” she admits. “I thought the worst part would be confronting Nate.”
“It’s up there.” I blink back the image. Blood. Farrow. Nate unconscious on the fucking floor. I train my focus on Jane, and I say what I’m thinking, “I should’ve ripped his head off his neck.”
But that night was more complicated than my anger, her hurt or his hatred.
“What stopped you?” she murmurs.
I wish I could say morality . But outside of the civilian world, morality means something else and I have blood on my hands from war.
“Protocol,” I answer. “The target was already neutralized.” I pause. “But I’d be lying to say it didn’t cross my mind. I was left alone in the attic with him.”
I remember how Farrow and Maximoff went to go shower. To wash off the blood. And Farrow needed to leave the scene. He was shaking with adrenaline, and he knew it.
It was just me and an unresponsive Nate. “Quinn knocked on the door, and I wouldn’t let him in.” I hold her gaze. “I didn’t want any of the men to see the scene until it was cleaned. That was my focus.”
She opens her mouth, tentative to ask something else. “Is it so bad to say that I don’t think I want to know exactly what it looked like?”
She never saw the room.
I wouldn’t let her.
“No. I don’t want to paint the picture for you,” I tell her.
Jane exhales deeper, seeing that we’re on the same page.
Police took photos, cuffed Nate, and I knew Jane wouldn’t want more strangers walking through her house. Not that night. So no one called a cleaning company.