She inhales sharply. “What?”
“You have a life here. You have a family. Fuck, you have finals on Monday. You’re about to graduate and go to college. And I’m probably about to fuck up my entire life, but I love you.”
She pulls back to look at you. “You love me?”
“More than anything,” you say. “More than drama club and dress rehearsals and Julius Caesar. More than annoying the shit out of Hastings. More than the goddamn park down the road. Hell, even more than I loved punching my father. I didn’t stick around here so long for any of that. I stayed for you. And if me loving you is enough—”
“It is,” she says.
“So come along,” you say. “Run away with me, baby.”
You don’t know this, but that girl? As she stands there, staring at you, seeing the light in your eyes and feeling so much love in her heart, she would’ve done anything you asked. Anything. She would’ve climbed any mountain and dug any hole. She would’ve lied, cheated, and stolen. That girl would’ve promised you forever. As long as you love her, for as long as you care, she’s yours. So walking to the park with you and climbing in that Porsche? Easiest decision she’s ever made.
Chapter 15
KENNEDY
“Come on, we’ve got to go!” I yell, shoving stuff around in a junk drawer in the kitchen, looking for my car keys but finding them nowhere. Ugh. I check the counter, and the table, before moving on to the living room. Not on the coffee table, either. Certainly not on the hook by the front door, where they’re supposed to be. I pull the cushions up on the couch, checking under them. Nothing. “Maddie, have you seen my keys?”
No answer.
I look all around, my eyes skimming along the floor as I make my way down the hallway toward the bedrooms, in case I dropped them. Nope. I'm trying to remember the last time I saw them. The door was already unlocked when I got home this morning, so yesterday sometime?
“Maddie?” I call out, her silence concerning. “Are you listening?”
No, it turns out, she isn’t. She’s sprawled out on her bed, dressed and ready to go, her hair already messed up, even though I fixed it a few minutes ago. She’s fast asleep, not hearing a word I say.
“Maddie, we need to get going,” I say, shaking her awake, waiting until she sits up before asking, “Have you seen my keys, sweetheart?”
Rubbing her eyes, she shakes her head.
Even if she has seen them, I don’t think she’s awake enough to remember it.
“Get your bag ready for school,” I tell her, walking away, heading to my bedroom. I search around for a moment, now looking for my cell phone, going so far as to rip the blankets off my bed and dump out the hamper. Nothing.
Annoyed, I give up. I don’t have time for this.
I’m already going to have to walk to work.
I go back to Maddie’s room.
She’s lying down again.
“Up, up, up,” I say, picking her up and setting her on her feet before grabbing her backpack, shoving some stray papers into it, not sure what she needs. I put it on her back before taking her hand and pulling her to the door.
“I don’t wanna go,” she whines, dragging her feet.
“Sorry, school is a necessity.”
“But why can’t I stay home with you?”
“What makes you think I’m staying home?”
“Because you don’t got no uniform.”
“That’s crazy, I—” Glancing down, I realize I’m not wearing my work shirt. Crap. “Wait here. Let me change my shirt.”
She just stares at me.
“Seriously, don’t move,” I say, pointing at her. “I’ll just be one second.”
Any longer and she’ll be right back in her bed.
Of course all my uniforms are dirty, so I shove through the pile of clothes I threw out of the hamper, finding the one that looks the cleanest. I’m pulling it on as a knock echoes through the apartment.
I tense, knowing Maddie’s going to open the door even before she announces, “I gots it!”
“Wait!”
“Jonathan!”
My stomach drops as I walk back out, finding the door wide open—of course—with him standing there, grinning at her.
It’s been a crazy morning. Waking up at dawn, naked in your ex’s bed, body aching, covered in the scent of him, has a way of putting someone through the emotional ringer. Horror. Fear. Dread. Excitement. I’m not sure how to feel about it, not sure about anything except the awkwardness, the guilt, the shame… and maybe I shouldn’t feel that way, but it’s unavoidable.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, more bite to those words than I mean. I can tell by the way he looks at me, the flicker of hurt in his eyes, that the question bothers him.
“He can come today, remember?” Maddie chimes in, looking at me like I’m being ridiculous. “He said since he couldn’t stay and play with me and Aunt Meghan.”
“Oh, I know that,” I say, walking over, pressing a hand to the top of her head as I force a smile, hoping she doesn’t sense the weirdness. “I just mean, why right now? Playtime is later.”
“I thought you might need this stuff,” he says, pulling something from his pocket and holding it out—keys and a cell phone. My cell phone, more specifically. My keys, too. “You must’ve forgotten it… somewhere.”
“Ugh, thanks,” I grumble, taking the phone from him as it starts ringing. Work. “It’s been one of those mornings. I’m running late, and ugh… let me take this call. Hello?”
“Is everything okay?” Marcus asks when I answer. “It’s ten after and you’re not here.”
“Yeah, sorry, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Just checking, since this isn’t like you.”
I hang up, rolling my eyes, and turn back to Jonathan, about to apologize for having to cut this short when he says, “I can take Maddie to school, if you need to get to work.”
Her eyes light up at that suggestion.
“I, uh… I don’t know…”
“It’s only, what—a couple blocks from here? I can get her there, no problem.”
“Please, Mommy?” Maddie says, grabbing his hand like she’s standing in solidarity. “He can get me there!”
Overprotective, paranoid me wants to say no, but how am I going to trust him to take her to a convention if I can’t even let him walk her to school? I want to pick her up and shove her in my pocket, shield her from everything for as long as I’m alive, but I can’t do that, because the truth is, she’s not just mine.
“Yeah, okay, fine,” I say, those words earning a squeal of excitement from Maddie. I smile down at her. “Love you more than lunch breaks and paychecks.”
“Love you more than recess.”
“That’s a lot of love, little girl.”
“All of it in the whole world.”
Leaning down, I kiss her forehead. “Go on, you don’t want to be late for school.”
She pauses, eyes widening. “Wait! I forgot!”
“Forgot what?” I call out as she sprints for her bedroom.
“Show & Tell!” she yells.
Sighing, I shake my head. “Can’t forget about bringing something for Show & Tell.”
“That would be a travesty,” Jonathan says.
I look at him, frowning as I slip past, out of the apartment. “Can you lock the door for me? Please? I have to get going.”
“Of course,” he says. “Whatever you need.”
I leave, not wanting to dwell, because if I do I’m liable to go back on all of it, and that wouldn’t be fair. I get to work a quarter after eight, fifteen minutes late, and rush to clock in, flustered.
“You sure you’re okay?” Marcus asks, eyeing me.
“Fine,” I mumble. “Couldn’t find my keys.”
It’s not a lie—not completely. It’s more than that, of course, but I don’t want to get into it. I spend the next few minutes in the back stockroom, watching the time.