A female voice answered, “Yes?”
“Lieutenant Sam Holland, from the Metro PD, to see Mrs. Connolly.”
The sound of commotion came through the intercom before a buzz unlocked the door. Sam went inside and took the stairs to the third floor, where a gray-haired woman stood in the doorway of 3C waiting for Sam, who withdrew her badge more out of habit than necessity.
“I’m Lieutenant Holland.”
“Yes, I know who you are. I’m Justine, Roni’s mother. She isn’t really up for guests, but when I told her you had come by, she asked me to let you in.”
“I won’t stay too long. I just wanted to...” What did she want exactly? The case was closed. She had no actual business here. So what was the point? “I wanted to see how she is.”
“Not good.” Justine’s grim expression told the story. “Not good at all. Patrick, he was...” Her eyes filled and she crossed her arms, seeming to hug herself. “I’m sorry. It’s just the most awful thing. They were so happy together, and now... I don’t know what’ll become of her. I just don’t know.”
“I’m so sorry for your terrible loss. I wish there was something I could say.”
“There’s nothing anyone can say. The sheer senselessness of it is the part I can’t get past.”
“I know.” Sam took a deep breath. “I’ll only stay for a minute.”
“Is there something new about the case? We were told the man who shot him was arrested.”
“That’s correct, and no, there’s nothing new. I just...” Sam had no idea what she was doing there, but something had brought her there. “I was the one who had to tell her the news yesterday, and I just... I wanted to see her. I understand if this isn’t a good time.”
“Give me one second?”
“Of course.”
Justine left the door ajar while she went to consult with her daughter.
Sam leaned against the wall, feeling like a jerk for disturbing these people at such a difficult time. What the hell was she doing here in the middle of their nightmare? I ought to go. She eyed the stairwell. It’s wrong for me to be here. In all her years as a Homicide detective, she’d never once “stopped by” to visit victims without it pertaining to an ongoing investigation.
She pushed herself off the wall, intending to leave.
Justine came to the door. “She’d like to see you.”
Sam followed her into a bright, stylish apartment where Roni was on the sofa, covered with a blanket, her face red and puffy, her hair ratty around her shoulders and her eyes... Sam could barely stand to look at the eyes that held her devastation. “Hi, Roni.”
“Hi.”
Sam sat next to her. “I wanted to stop by to check on you.” On the end table next to Roni, Sam noticed a gorgeous wedding photo of Roni and Patrick, the two of them gazing at each other and wearing huge smiles.
“I’m still here.” Roni forced a small smile. “Everyone has been so amazing and supportive.”
“I’m glad you’re being well loved.”
Absently, Roni spun her diamond engagement ring around her finger. It sat above a diamond wedding band. “I’m just not sure what to do now, you know? Patrick... We had so many plans, and now...” She shrugged helplessly and glanced at Sam. “I don’t know what to do. I write obituaries for a living, but I don’t know where to begin with Patrick’s.”
Sam’s heart broke for her. “Is there someone who could help you with that?”
“Lots of people, but I want to do it myself.”
“That’s understandable.” Sam tried to find some words of wisdom that would help Roni, but really, what could anyone say that would truly help? “I’m sure it seems impossible today, but you will find a way through this.”
“I guess so. What choice do I have?”
“If there’s anything at all I can do for you at any time, please call me.” Sam placed her business card on the coffee table. “My cell number is on there.”
“It’s very nice of you to come by. You must be so busy, and you just lost your father.”
“Yes, I did, and while it’s not the same thing, I know what it’s like to wonder how you’re going to survive without someone.”
Roni’s eyes filled as she nodded.
“We have something in common, you and me. We’re both victims of violent crime. I’ve been thinking about putting together a group for people like us, those who’ve been left shattered by the sort of thing that happened to Patrick. If it’s all right with you, I’ll let you know what we decide to do. It might be helpful to you.”
“That would be nice. Thank you.”
“If there’s anything at all I can do for you, please call.”
“I will. It was good of you to come by.”
“Do you mind if I stop by again to check on you?”
“I wouldn’t mind. It’s nice of you to care.”
“I’m so sorry again for your loss. From what everyone says, Patrick was a brilliant, well-respected agent.”
“He was the smartest person I ever knew.”
Sam, who wasn’t known for being a hugger, leaned in to hug the young woman, who clung to her for a long time. “I’ll be in touch,” she said when they finally released each other, both of them blinking back tears.
Roni nodded and wiped the tears from her face.
Justine showed Sam out. “Thank you for coming by.”
“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“We will.”
Sam went down the stairs and out to her car, taking greedy, deep breaths of the cool air. For a long time after she got into her car, she sat there thinking about Roni and Patrick and the terrible loss of a promising young life. Then she pounded her hand on the steering wheel and screamed with frustration until her hand and throat began to hurt so badly she had no choice but to stop.
She took a few minutes to pull herself together, pushing the rage back into the back corner, where it had lived for four seemingly endless years. After opening the window, she took several more breaths, trying to settle her ragged emotions before she went home to her family. She’d become accustomed to hiding the rage, to living with it, to carrying it with her everywhere she went. But since her father died, it had been harder to hide the ever-present fury over what’d been taken from him and everyone who loved him.
Maybe that was why she’d needed to see Roni, so the other woman would know there was someone out there who understood how she felt. Or maybe she’d done it for herself, so she could be with someone who understood how she felt. Whatever the reason, she was glad she’d come, that she’d had the chance to express her condolences and speak to Roni about the support group that would be happening. It was no longer just an idea. Roni’s unspeakable grief had made Sam more determined than ever to do something for people who desperately needed a place to turn when their lives were ruined by violence.
If she could help to give them even five minutes of comfort, it would be time well spent.
Fifteen minutes later, the Secret Service waved her through the Ninth Street checkpoint. She parallel parked in her spot, behind one of the black SUVs that ferried Nick and Scotty around. As she got out of the car, she glanced toward her dad’s house, where a single light burned in the living room. A wave of sadness overtook her when she thought about all the years she’d have to live without her dad’s steady presence in her life, without that voice calling her baby girl, without his calming influence to talk her down when the job got the better of her.
Roni’s grief mingled with her own, making the path forward seem almost insurmountable.
She had no idea how long she’d been standing there when the front door to her home opened and Nick came down the ramp.
He put his arm around her. “Heard you were out here.”
“Every day when I come home I have to remind myself he’s not there anymore.”
“I know, babe. Me too. It’s still hard to believe.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder.
“You want to go see Celia? I’ll go with you.”
“Right now, I’d like to see you and the kids.”
“I was just about to feed them. You want to join us?”
“Yeah, that’d be good.” She’d check on Celia later, after she had some time with Nick and the kids.
Keeping his arm around her, Nick led her up the ramp, past Brant, who stood watch over him as always, and inside to the warm comfort of home, where she could hear the three kids in the kitchen, laughing and talking. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Aubrey and Alden had only been there a couple of weeks.
Scotty and the twins were just what she needed after another difficult day.
After dinner, Scotty decided the twins needed to see Star Wars or their education would be incomplete. Sam agreed to the first half, but not the full movie because they needed to get to bed. She never had been a big fan of Star Wars, but she sat with Nick’s arms around her on the sofa and tried to follow the story even as her mind wandered through the events of the day.
When her cell phone rang, she disentangled herself from Nick’s embrace and went into the kitchen to take the call from Freddie.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“HEY, WHAT’S UP?”
“How’re you doing?”
“I’d be better if I knew what was going on.”
“Nothing much to report. We’re going through the stuff from his office piece by piece. It’s slow going.”
“Any smoking guns?”
“Not yet, but we’re still digging. Apparently, he’s making a huge stink about being arrested and continuing to claim he was never on G Street that day. Archie is sifting through archival footage from then, looking for him.”
“God, I hope he finds something.”
“Conklin is saying you’re so desperate to solve your father’s case that you’re grasping at straws.”