After closing the attic door, Sam followed on legs that felt rubbery and weird, as if someone had kicked them out from under her. Four years. Four fucking years. She wanted to punch something or someone.
“Did you find the bag?” Celia asked when they came downstairs with the boxes.
“Not sure yet. Take them into the kitchen.” It was the shock, she thought, the shock that had followed the shooting and the stroke her father had shortly afterward, that had knocked her off her game. For months, she’d been in a fog of grief, sorrow, fear and rage, helping to care for Skip and trying to hold on to her own job, while her marriage to Peter crumbled and her battles with Stahl intensified. He’d had absolutely no empathy whatsoever for what she and her family were going through after her dad was shot. The enmity between them had escalated significantly during that time.
Those days, weeks and months were a blur, the most stressful period of her life, a time she’d much rather forget than relive. But when she allowed herself to wallow in the memories of that dreadful time, she was able to see how things that would normally be important had slipped off her radar. The delivery of items from the office would barely warrant a notice when keeping him alive and comfortable had consumed their days and nights.
Had those boxes been there all that time, containing the answers they’d needed so badly? Sam was almost afraid to find out.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IN THE KITCHEN, Freddie took the cover off the first box and pulled out a stack of files that he placed on the table.
Sam stared at the files. “Why did some of it end up here and the rest is still at HQ?”
“Who knows? Maybe this was more personal stuff?” He took the first file and opened it, sifted through the pages. “These are all his performance evals.”
There were files with awards, citations, letters from citizens Skip had helped or befriended that Sam would pore over when she had time, letters from children he met at school visits and pictures they’d drawn of him in his uniform. Something about those pictures got to her as she recalled his joy in interacting with kids and teaching them to respect law enforcement officers. That had been one of his favorite things to do as deputy chief.
They went through every piece of paper in both boxes but didn’t find anything new that could help with the case.
The adrenaline drained out of her, leaving Sam exhausted and frustrated.
Celia came into the kitchen. “Anything?”
Sam shook her head. “Where else would that bag be? Any idea?”
“You can go up and check his closet in the bedroom. Everything is still where he left it, except for the clothes he wore afterward.”
Afterward. Life divided between before and after the shooting.
“Let’s go check the closet.” Sam trudged back up the stairs.
Freddie followed her into her father’s bedroom.
Celia had chosen to use one of the other empty bedrooms, so Skip’s room was virtually untouched, right down to the framed family photos on the dresser, the red-and-blue-striped comforter he’d bought after Sam’s mother moved out and the queen-size bed that had belonged to Skip’s mother, Sam’s beloved grandma Ella. Angela’s daughter had been named for her.
Freddie’s hand on her shoulder reminded her of what they’d come in there to do.
She went to the closet, opened the door and was greeted by the faint scent of the Polo cologne her father had worn his entire adult life. The familiar scent nearly brought her to her knees. She gripped the doorknob as she took a quick visual inventory of the closet—dress shirts, polo shirts, dress pants, jeans, uniforms, shoes and a stack of sweaters on the shelf. The man purse was not among the items in the closet.
“Is there anything behind the clothes?”
Sam divided the hanging clothes and looked behind them. “Nope.”
Another dead end. Backing away from the closet, she sat on the edge of the bed to collect her thoughts. “When I was a kid, I used to come running in here first thing every morning to wake him up. It didn’t matter how early it was, he always got up with me, shushing me so I wouldn’t wake everyone else. He would carry me downstairs and make me pancakes. We’d watch the news together while he drank coffee and I had chocolate milk. He’d ask me questions about things we saw on the news and tell me it was important to be aware of what was going on in the world.”
Arms crossed, Freddie leaned against the dresser and listened.
“I followed him around like an annoying puppy, but he never acted annoyed.”
“He adored you.”
She ran a hand over the familiar striped comforter. “Used to drive me crazy when I was first on the job and he’d light up at the sight of me, no matter who else was around. The guys would tease me about being a daddy’s girl, and I couldn’t even deny it.”
“We’re going to figure this out, Sam.”
She glanced at him. “When? When are we going to figure it out?”
“We’ve already got three things we didn’t have before—the statement from Davis, the info about Conklin and the reminder of the messenger bag.”
“Which could be anywhere at this point.”
“We should check the evidence locker at HQ.”
She shook her head. “We’ve already done that. It wasn’t with the stuff from the shooting.”
“We weren’t looking for the bag then. This time we would be.”
He was right. It was worth a shot. “Yeah, I guess so.” She opened her phone and called her sister Tracy, who answered on the second ring.
“What’s up?”
“I need a favor.”
“Sure thing.”
“Do you remember the messenger bag Dad used to carry to work?”
“The man purse?”
Sam smiled. “Yeah.”
“What about it?”
“One of my colleagues mentioned it earlier today, and I realized I’d forgotten about it—and that no one has seen it since the shooting. So we’re looking for it.”
“Have you checked the house?”
“Freddie and I just went through the stuff that was sent home from HQ after he retired and his old bedroom and closet, but it’s not here.”
“What can I do?”
“A more thorough search of the house? I don’t want to ask Celia to do it.”
“I’m on it, and I’ll get Ang to help.”
“Thanks, Trace. You’re the best.”
“We’ll do anything we can to help figure out who shot him.”
“This is a big help. Thanks.”
“I’ll keep you posted.”
Sam closed the phone, took a deep breath and pushed herself up from the bed, taking a last look at the familiar room that reminded her so profoundly of her dad and the way life had been before the shooting.
Freddie stopped her with a hand to her arm. “Give yourself a minute if you need it.”
“I’m okay.” She said what he needed to hear, but she wondered if she’d ever truly be okay in a world that no longer included her beloved father.
* * *
JOE WAITED UNTIL two o’clock before he went to find Jake in his office, surrounded by four stacks of paper. “How’s it going?”
“Slow.”
“Want some help?”
“Wouldn’t say no to that.” Jake gestured to the piles. “These are all the calls to Conklin’s extension, one stack for each of the last four years. I’m almost through the first year. Three more to go.”
“Give me a year and the number we’re looking for.”
Jake handed over the pages and a sticky note with Davis’s number written on it.
“Just like the old days, huh?”
“You mean back when we were useful?”
Joe laughed, which he wouldn’t have thought possible. He’d been up all night, overtaken by the stress of Conklin’s possible involvement in Skip’s shooting and what he might have to do about it if it turned out to be true. The very idea that Conklin could’ve kept something like this from them intentionally was so overwhelming and revolting. And if it was true, what else was there? What other secrets had his deputy chief been keeping?
They worked in silence, scrolling through page after page of numbers. It would’ve been easier to have Archie do a computer search for the number, but Joe was afraid to tip his hand about what they were looking for. So they did it by hand, the old-fashioned way.
Joe broke the long silence. “Remember when we used to be all about the paper?”
“I remember. I like computer searches better.”
“Me too, but that’s not an option this time.” He glanced at Jake. “Did Archie have anything to say about the request?”
“Nope. After he confirmed it with you, he printed it out and handed it over.”
The lieutenant who led their IT department was one of the best officers Joe had ever worked with—thorough, competent, discreet and meticulous. “We probably could’ve told him what we were looking for and let him do it.”
“Probably.”
While they respected and admired Archie, they didn’t trust anyone with a situation this potentially explosive for the department. They went back to scanning the pages.
Another twenty minutes passed before Jake gasped and sat up straighter. “Pay dirt. He called Conklin’s extension on the first anniversary of the shooting.” He shuffled through another stack of papers. “And the second anniversary. You’ve got the third year—check the date of the shooting.”
Joe sifted to the back of the pile to check the December dates, scanning for the date of the shooting, his heart sinking when he saw the number they were looking for. “And the third anniversary.” Joe glanced at Jake. “He called every year, looking for an update on the case.” He handed the page over to Jake, who ran a highlighter over the line in question and put it with the other two pages.
Jake blew out a deep breath and sagged into his chair. “What do we do?”