I recognized the voice. It was Nixon’s. Why the hell was Nixon there? Wasn’t he dead? No wait. That was me. I’d taken that bullet.
Memories of the past few days flashed across my line of vision, causing a searing headache to build at my temples.
The fight.
The gunshots.
The agreement.
My wife.
Tears burned the back of my eyes.
Wife…
“I’ll do it. I’m a match.” I gripped her hand firmly in mine.
“You’ll die,” Tex whispered. “Your body… it’s too weak from everything else.”
“We’re running out of time!” I screamed, my voice hoarse, eyes wide frantic. “Do it now!”
“No.” She wrapped her frail arms around my neck. “No.”
“Yes.” I pushed her away. “If I don’t — you could die. The doctor says it needs to be now, so operate.”
Her eyes were sad.
Both Tex and Phoenix looked down at the blue and white tile floor, faces pale. I knew what they were thinking. I’d already lost too much blood, my kidneys were barely working, and I wanted to give her part of my life.
I knew going in I would most likely die.
But I’d do everything within my power to save her.
It’s odd, when you face death every day, when you elude it, when you finally come to terms with the fact that you won’t be on earth forever — that’s when you think you’re at peace.
I’d thought I was okay with dying.
Until I met her.
And then I was faced with someone else’s death every damn day. It’s harder. People don’t tell you that. It’s one thing to come to terms with your own mortality; it’s quite another to stare down death of the one you love, knowing there is nothing in this world that will stop it.
My vision blurred again.
“He’s flat lining,” a voice said in the distance.
I tried to keep my eyes open. I saw white blond hair, big brown eyes, and that tender smile. I reached for it and held onto it, held onto the memory of her. The girl who’d changed my world from darkness to light.
The girl I never wanted.
But desperately needed.
“Tell her I’ll love her…” I didn’t recognize my own gravelly voice. “…forever.”
With a gasp, I felt my heart stutter to a stop.
Blackness overtook me just as a searing pain hit me square in the chest.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Andi
HE’D FLAT-LINED TWICE.
Both times, I felt my own heart stop as I waited for his to start pumping again. Those seconds, those moments, were the worst I’d ever experienced in my life. Nothing would make me feel better — nothing but hearing his voice again.
“Andi…” Nixon nudged me with his arm. “…you should get some sleep. I’ll watch over him.”
I shook my head and stayed glued to his bedside. He’d been in surgery for eight hours. His body had gone into such shock from dehydration that he’d seized; the bullet that Nixon had put in his leg was just close enough to his main artery that when he seized, it had caused a small tear.
He’d nearly bled out.
He would have had we brought him back to the house instead of the hospital. I gripped his rough hand harder, willing him to open his eyes.
Nixon sighed and pulled out a chair. “Fine. Stay, but I’m staying too.”
I shrugged. I didn’t care either way.
A knock sounded at the door. Tex pushed it open halfway, peeking his head around the side before he entered. “So I have some news.”
I covered a yawn with my hand and laid my head against Sergio’s chest. “Good news or bad news?”
“Bad.” Tex’s eyes fell. “He’s not a match.”
Sergio groaned.
“Sergio?” I cupped his face. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes.”
“Water.” His voice sounded rough, like he’d swallowed sandpaper. “I need water.”
I quickly lifted the cup to his lips. He drank greedily then blinked his eyes harder as if trying to focus on me. “Why aren’t you in surgery?”
“Uh…” I set the water down. “…because I wasn’t the one shot?”
“No.” His eyebrows knit together in frustration. “I’m a match, right? Why aren’t you in surgery getting my blood? Why am I alive?”
Tex cursed softly behind me. I held onto Sergio’s hand tighter. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Sergio, but… you’re not a match.”
“Yes, I am!” His voice rose an octave. “Tex, you were there, and Nixon, I told you guys to operate while they were taking me in the hospital. I said—” His eyes darted between the three of us. “I said to do it… to tell Andi I loved her. I said…” His voice died.
Nixon was instantly at Sergio’s other side. “You were severely dehydrated, drugged — you technically died. Whatever you imagined happening… didn’t… happen, Sergio. Tex and I were there. So were Andi, Phoenix, Frank — all of us — and you did talk about being a match, but you aren’t. Tex just came in to tell us.”
“But—” Sergio’s face fell. “—it was real. It felt so real.”
I wiped the stray tears rolling down my face. This man, his love was so incredible. I didn’t deserve it. “I’m so sorry, Sergio.”