Which sucked, considering the last time I’d felt real guilt was when I’d stolen cookies out of the cookie jar at age eight.
I expected Andi to knock on my door or break it down, considering breaking things was more her style.
But she left me in peace the entire day.
I worked for hours making sure she had a cover at the university and also keeping tabs on her father.
It was busywork. The type of work a person did to keep his mind off more pressing matters.
Like the way her body felt against mine.
The way her mouth tasted.
“Shit.” I slammed my hands against the desk and reached for my phone. The text messages hadn’t stopped for hours.
First a message from Tex saying I was an asshole.
Nothing new in that department.
Then several emojis from Nixon — of presents.
Hilarious.
Phoenix had called a few times too, but I’d ignored those as well.
Just like I’d ignored the seven invitations to family dinner. It was a tradition, one I didn’t want Andi to be a part of. Because I knew there would come a night when her seat would be empty.
My stomach lurched at the thought.
I picked up my phone and checked my voicemail.
”Hey, man, it’s Phoenix.”
I rolled my eyes.
”Answer your damn phone. I can’t get hold of your wife.”
I deleted the message. Asshole. She was my wife, not his.
The next message was the same thing.
Finally, around the fourth message, I started to get a bit concerned.
”Dude, if you don’t answer I’m going to break down your freaking door! Andi’s not answering and she missed her doctor’s appointment.”
Wait, what?
Doctor’s appointment. /?
I pulled out the list that she’d made earlier that day. Sure enough, on the corner it said, And don’t forget to take me to the doctor like a good husband!
She’d drawn a heart next to it.
The appointment had been three hours ago.
I told myself not to worry. She’d probably fallen asleep or left her phone in the house or something.
I quickly ran out of the office and started calling her name.
“Andi?”
No answer.
I went into the kitchen.
Nothing.
Panic swelled in my chest as I took the stairs two at a time. I burst into her bedroom. It was empty.
Shit!
I moved down the hall. “Andi?”
A soft whimper sounded. I called out her name again.
The bathroom door closest to her bedroom was shut.
I tried the handle.
It was locked.
With a curse, I slammed my body into it. The door broke free, revealing a crumpled Andi near the toilet.
She was pale.
Her eyes were closed.
And a part of me died inside.
How long had she been here?
“Andi?” I got on my knees and pulled her into my lap. “Andi, can you hear me?”
I lifted her head, but it only fell back, lifeless. Her skin was so pale it was almost translucent. “Andi?”
Her eyes fluttered open.
“Thatta girl,” I encouraged.
“Not dog,” she whispered, the fight so completely out of her words that the panic worsened until I felt like I was going to be sick.
“Do we need to go to the hospital?”
She frowned. “Aren’t we at the hospital?”
“No—” Frantic, I felt her forehead. “Shit, you’re burning up. We need to go to the ER.”
“Hate doctors. Hospital smells.” She scrunched up her nose then pressed her face against my chest. “You don’t though. You smell like dirty sex.”
My voice felt shaky. “Oh yeah?” I pushed to my feet and heaved her into my arms. “Pretty sure you’re going to regret that compliment when you’re lucid.”
“Lucid?” she repeated. “Like ice cream? I think I want vanilla. What are you going to have, Sergio?”
I took one look at her pretty face and answered honestly — maybe the most honest answer I’d had since being with her. “Chocolate.”
Her smile was weak. “I love chocolate.”
“Me too, Andi.”
“You were mean.”
I carried her down the stairs. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sick.” Andi tucked her head underneath my chin. “I think… fever.”
“We’ll get you better.” I was saying it for both of us, because I wasn’t sure I could handle her getting sicker. It did something to me. I felt powerless — I hated that feeling. I opened the door to my Escalade with one hand and gently put her down, pulled the seatbelt tight, and buckled it.
“Don’t make me go.” A big fat tear slid down her cheek. “Please.”
I swallowed the tightness in my throat. “Tell you what… after we visit the hospital, how about I take you to get some chocolate ice cream?”
She closed her eyes; another tear slid, then another. “Promise?”
“Yeah, Andi.” I wiped her tears away. “I promise, but right now we need to get you to the hospital, okay?”
She gave a weak nod.
The minute I got into the SUV, I gripped the steering wheel and cursed. It was too close to home.
She didn’t know that.
I wasn’t even sure anyone else knew — other than Ax and Nixon.
I didn’t push her away because I hated her.
I was terrified of her.