“A proper shit takes time, my friend. You just slow your roll and go grab me a magazine or something,” Uncle Drew yells back, the branches of the shrubs rustle as he does God knows what back there.
Aunt Claire came up with the idea that Gavin should bake Charlotte cupcakes and hide the ring in one of them. Again, super sweet idea, until Uncle Drew saw them sitting on the counter and ate every single one. Whole. Just shoveled each one in his mouth until Gavin walked into the kitchen and started screaming. Tyler and I had to calm him down and get both him and Uncle Drew out of the house before Charlotte figured out what was going on.
“Just so you know, when he does go to the bathroom, I am NOT digging through his pile of shit for a diamond ring. There’s a lot of things I’ll do for diamonds, but that is not one of them.”
Dammit! What is wrong with me? Just say it. Say, “I love you, Tyler.”
“This problem could be solved in a minute if Duke were here,” Tyler mumbles to himself.
“Duke? Who’s Duke?” I question.
“Don’t worry, Duke is right here helping things along,” Uncle Drew shouts from the bushes.
Tyler takes a deep breath, sticks his hands in his pockets, pulls them back out and then starts pacing nervously.
“Shit. Shit f**k damn! Ava, I need to tell you something,” he starts, turning to face me.
I watch him bite his bottom lip and a wave of desire washes through me so quickly I have to catch my breath. I really do love him. He’s sweet and cute and he’s good to me.
“I need to tell you something too,” I tell him excitedly, moving closer to his body.
Tyler reaches for me and we both open our mouths to speak at the same time when Uncle Drew starts cheering and shouting across the yard.
“IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S REALLY HAPPENING! I’M SHITTING IN THE SHRUBS!”
We move away from each other and do everything we can to avoid looking in Uncle Drew’s direction.
“Uuuggghh, I don’t have time for this. I need to get on a computer and order my BronyCon tickets before they’re gone,” Tyler grumbles.
“You’re serious about doing this? You can’t possibly think some random guy that could be your father would even go to this thing. How would you even know who he was when you got there?”
Tyler laughs and shakes his head at me. “Obviously if he’s my dad, he’ll be at this thing. I didn’t just turn Brony, I was born this way.”
“You’re being absurd, Tyler. This isn’t going to work,” I tell him.
“This isn’t about me finding my dad. This is about you not understanding me being a Brony. I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
Is he serious with this shit?
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t handle. I think you’re insane for believing you’ll be able to go to some huge gathering of weird people and be able to immediately recognize your father,” I argue.
Tyler crosses his arms in front of him and glares at me. “Weird people? Did you just call me weird? Oh, no you didn’t!”
I hate that we’re fighting outside in the freezing cold weather on Christmas, but his words hit too close to home and that pisses me off even more. I don’t understand the whole Brony thing and I can’t do anything but lash out.
“If the horse tail fits!” I fire back.
“You know what? At least I’m taking a risk. I’m going out on a limb and doing everything I can to find out who my father is so I can move on with my life. What about you, Ava? Are you just going to keep working at Seduction and Snacks for the rest of your life, making you and everyone else miserable in the process?”
I shake my head and turn away from him. “You don’t understand.”
Tyler grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. “You’re right, I don’t understand. You have enough sponsorship on your blog right this minute to quit the job you hate and do what you love. You can make a living off of this and yet you’re still going in to your mom’s office every day, hating every minute of it. You need to tell your mom what’s going on.”
I shrug out of his hold and take a step back. “My mom doesn’t understand, I told you that.”
“So MAKE her understand, dammit! Let her know how much this means to you.”
I put more distance between us, walking backwards through the snow.
“Stay out of it, Tyler. This is my life.”
He’s quiet for a few minutes and I watch him stand there in the middle of the yard. He slides his hands in his pockets and puffs of cold air float out of his mouth.
“You’re afraid. You’re afraid to quit Seduction and Snacks because it’s safe. It’s easy to stay there, doing what you’re told every day instead of taking a chance on something new,” Tyler says quietly.
I’m pretty sure he’s not talking about work anymore.
“I am NOT afraid! I take plenty of chances. I took a chance on you, didn’t I? I completely changed myself for some GUY and look where it got me? I’m standing outside in the snow on Christmas waiting for my uncle to take a shit,” I yell angrily.
“I never asked you to change anything for me. I like you just the way you are; I just want you to be happy. I’m so sorry being with some guy couldn’t make you a little less of a bitch.”
Before I can fire off another insult that will most likely make me feel even worse than I already do, the back door opens and Gavin comes rushing outside.