I nodded, too tired to argue, then begrudgingly took the clipboard from his mom and started filling in my information.
Chapter Twenty-One
LUCAS
Don’t panic.
Don’t show fear.
My mom was sitting on one side of me with Avery on the other. I was in absolute hell and was going to have to change my shirt and get another brand of deodorant, since the one I had used clearly wasn’t doing the job.
Then again, deodorants aren’t made for situations that involve trying to right a wrong between two families in the worst possible circumstances. In my case that meant keeping my mom from finding out about my unique sex life while faking an engagement to the younger sister of the ex-fiancée I’d cheated on.
I think if it had been just that tangle, the deodorant would have been like, Chill, Lucas, I’ve got this.
But I was in a damn gynecologist’s office; no male deodorant should have to put up with that shit.
With my mother.
With. My. Mother.
The receptionist called out Avery’s name.
Avery directed a look of pure hatred at me before slowly standing and wiping her hands on her jeans.
The nurse eyed me up and down and smirked.
I tried to keep my groan in.
I knew that look. It was interest. Blatant interest.
But I was here with my girlfriend.
Fiancée.
Even with the fake fiancée, I didn’t appreciate the nurse’s leer.
I stood.
The hell?
I dated multiple women all the time!
Why would I have qualms now when my fiancée wasn’t even real?
Avery glanced back at me, her face pale.
Slowly, numbly, I reached out and took her hand in mine, and for reasons I would probably overanalyze later—I kissed her fingertips and winked.
Ignoring the nurse completely.
And locking eyes with the only woman that mattered.
Only to have my mom ruin the moment by shoving her body between us and wrapping an arm around both my waist and Avery’s. “This is so responsible of you guys.”
“Yes, exactly what I was thinking,” Avery said dryly. “How responsible of you, Lucas.”
I glared at her over the top of my mom’s head and mouthed a curse.
Avery carried on cheerfully until we entered the exam room and she spotted the table she had to sit on.
It had metal stirrups.
I coughed out a laugh. “I’ll just be outside.”
Mom grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “Just where do you think you’re going?”
I gave her a helpless look. “Mom, she needs privacy. I’ll wait outside the door while the nurse and doctor . . . examine Avery.”
“I completely agree.” Mom nodded and crossed her arms. “So if you need me, I’ll be reading that new book about the naughty duke on my Kindle. In the waiting room. You two have fun!”
She was gone before I could argue.
Leaving both Avery and me staring at the table in horror.
“We could pay him off.”
“What was that?” I asked.
“And when I say ‘we,’ I mean you. You can pay off the doctor, tell him not to make me take off all my clothes and get on the death contraption.”
“Avery, I—”
“They make me spread my legs, Lucas!” she wailed. “And this thing”—she made an alligator motion with her arms—“clamps together and gets shoved up into . . . Well . . .” Her cheeks turned pink. “You know where, and then it does THIS!” Her arms slowly opened. “WIDE!”
I was a sick man.
Because the image wasn’t at all horrifying.
In fact, I had half a mind to ask if I could watch.
What the hell was wrong with me?
“Lucas!” she hissed. “Pay attention.” She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “I’ll be completely exposed!”
I tugged the collar of my shirt and nodded. “Avery, relax, it’s going to be over with before you know it.”
She hung her head and made a little whimper, then said, “Okay, well, I need to put on the gown of death, so you—you can go.”
I sighed. “I’ll turn around while you change, and at least wait until the doctor and his nurse get in here, okay?”
Avery’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t believe you got us into this predicament.”
Sadly, I had to turn around, and I nearly passed out when I heard the sound of a zipper lowering. I clenched my hands. “How do you figure? You’re the one who got drunk and then lied to Erin the next day, not me.”
“You were right. You should have left me to die on the street corner, Lucas.”
“Believe me, I would have, but you said you frowned upon prostitution, and I guarantee leaving you on a street corner would have been a very quick way to put you on the exact career path that working for me is keeping you from.”
The sound of paper rustling had me too curious to resist peeking over my shoulder. Avery was already up on the exam table, her knees exposed and her small body completely swallowed up in an ugly pink hospital gown.
“Don’t . . .” she said through clenched teeth, looking down at the pink fabric, “. . . laugh.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Wasn’t even tempted to look beneath the paper sheet.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’d like to think we’re beyond the lying.”
I bit down on my lip to keep from smiling.
“Fine.” She looked heavenward. “You can laugh for three seconds, then you have to stop and tell me how sexy my legs look.”