Dad, gone from this earth. Ash settling into the rich Kentucky dirt where Dana and I had scattered him.
Four months and it felt like yesterday I’d sat with him, laughing and being goofy.
Four months and it felt like an eternity he’d been gone.
And I felt that eternity settle in my bones. If I allowed myself to think about it, it weighed me down.
So I didn’t think about it.
I thought about the laughing and being goofy part.
“This is true, but when he shared that with us, Dana was not part of that picture,” I pointed out. “And Mav was a little kid.”
“Not that little. And Dana had been dating him for three years and married him not long after. She was married to him longer than your mom, even, and we both know Joss was the love of his life. Dana knew it too but she gave him good that came from deep in her heart. Your dad was Dana’s Joss, and I don’t give a shit she’s only five years older than you. She treated him that way without all the fighting and bullshit and star-crossed lovers crap your parents never grew up enough to sort out.”
I stared at the river rushing past and said nothing.
Even so, I felt a lot.
“Sorry, Jussy,” Lacey said softly in my ear, knowing better than even my mom and dad how much I was feeling. “I love you and I’m about you and I always have been. I have zero tolerance for Mav’s bullshit because he’s not my brother and I’ve had to watch for years as he shoved it down you and your dad’s throats. Your father split his estate three ways, you, Mav and Dana, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s more generosity than Mav ever earned. But that’s what your dad wanted. He was of sound mind when he decided that and everyone knows it, even Mav and Luna. He was also of sound mind when he knew Luna would go after it so he made it that, if any one of you contested his wishes, they’d be blocked out, disinherited, get nothing and their third would be split between the other two.”
I drew in breath but just to stay calm. Not because I had anything to say.
It didn’t matter, really. Lace wasn’t done talking.
“Honestly, with that brother of yours the way he was, I would have considered entering the mindfuck that was trying to get his head straight about two seconds before he made his bed and jumped in. Another fourteen million to keep me flush until I died, that brother of yours, no skin off my nose. You’re a saint getting this far. You did what you could do. Let it go.”
“First, Lace, I love him. He can be a douche, I know that. But he could also be cool, if he was around Dad or me long enough for the stench of Luna to drift away. So I don’t want him to make this huge a fuckup and screw up his life. And second, if I just let it go, it might be construed that I’m after half of his third.”
“Jus, damn, girl, nearly thirty mil from your dad’s estate on top of the royalties you got coming in and that continuing in perpetuity from Johnny’s royalties, even if it’s only a third? And this isn’t even getting into what your granddad left you, which set you up for life. You don’t need another fourteen million and everybody knows it. And, sister, I’ll tell you something else you already know, you already were and that’s off your own fucking back, not Johnny’s, not Grandpa Jerry’s.”
It was safe to say I couldn’t talk about this anymore.
“Okay, I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry my brother fucked what I’m sure was a show that you killed, drop the mic, top that. I’m glad you’re calling because I love hearing your voice. But can that voice not be talking about this for now?”
“Jus—”
“Gonna try him again, Lace. He’s not taking my calls. He won’t. He keeps up with what he’s doing, it’s not like I’m going to leave what I found here and hunt him down. Did that four times in LA before I left to come out here and each of those four times was more unpleasant than the last. Try again, then I’m done and the courts can take care of him,” I promised.
She hesitated a moment before she gave in.
“Okay, then I’ll let it go.”
“Thanks.”
“Now we gotta talk about Bianca.”
“Shit,” I again muttered.
“You hear from her?”
“No. I can’t say I’ve called much either.”
This made me uncomfortable. I should have called. But with all that was going down with Dad dying, Dana’s grief, mine, buying the house, Mav and Luna’s antics, Joss going into a dark space because Dad was gone and she’d lost her adulthood-long partner in constantly messing up the best thing that ever happened to them, I hadn’t had time for my girl.
I needed to make time for my girl.
“Concentrated effort,” Lace declared. “We don’t hear from her, we ask around. We don’t hear from that, when I’m out seeing your forest oasis in a few weeks, we’ll sort a plan to straighten out her shit.”
The upcoming visit from Lace, love.
Straightening out Bianca’s shit, not-so-love.
“We might have to sleep in the same bed,” I warned.
“Slept with you more nights than any man I’ve had, won’t be a problem,” she declared.
The memories that came from that made me smile.
Lacey switched subjects.
“Love for you to be on my tour.”
“Maybe closer to the end,” I told her because that would be early next year, after Christmas in Colorado in my new (hopefully by then, fully-completed) house. “I’ll join you, hit a couple of stops.”