Tane waved. “H’lo.”
The girls did not move. Could not move. They looked from Mary Lou to Tane and back again.
“They’re staring because they thought you were imaginary,” Mary Lou told him. “Also, because you’re hot.”
“Objectifying me much?”
“No!” Mary Lou said quickly. “Well, a little.”
“ ’S all right. I’ve objectified you in my head plenty.”
“Awwww. Thanks, sweetie.” Mary Lou kissed Tane and wrapped her leg around his waist.
“Okay, we could come back in an hour if you need more time,” Jennifer said.
“Could you?” Mary Lou managed between kisses.
“No. That was a joke.”
The girls rushed to hug Mary Lou, except for Petra, who kept watch over Harris with the can of hair spray at the ready. They talked in a torrent: “Gonna kill us … MoMo B. ChaCha … cameras …” “If MoMo’s coming in on a yacht and we can get to it, we can use it to get off the island,” Shanti said.
“But they’ll be counting all of us for the pageant. They’ll notice if one of us is gone,” Nicole reminded them.
“Tane and I can do it,” Mary Lou said. “They think we’re dead.”
“Where’s the ship going to dock?” Petra asked Harris. She raised the hair spray.
“Down the beach about a hundred yards. There’s a secret docking cave.”
“You have a secret docking cave and you couldn’t afford to give my mom overtime and dental?” Jennifer pressed Petra’s finger on the nozzle and gave the hair spray can a squirt. It got Harris in the ear.
“Ahhhh! That’s cold!”
Jennifer narrowed her eyes. “You would know.”
“This cave leads out to the water,” Mary Lou said. “We’ll take this ledge out and swim down to the shore, be waiting for them when they come. As soon as you can, make a beeline for the docking cave.”
“We have to go back out the front and get the others. The guards only let us in for gummi bears and tampons. If we don’t go back up, they’ll come looking for us.”
“Okay. Everybody play it cool. We can’t let on that we know the plan.”
“What plan?” Tiara said.
They all looked at Tiara. “Tiara, you can’t say anything, okay?” Adina pleaded.
“You mean pretend? Blow kisses and put on my sparkle h*ps like when I was little?”
“Like your life depends on it. Because it does for a while.”
“What should we do about Harris the Misunderestimated over here?” Jennifer asked, eyeing him.
Mary Lou grabbed the ropes that had held her to Tane over the piranha tank. “I’ve got a few ideas.”
They left Harris tied up behind the rock where he wouldn’t be seen by anyone. Mary Lou secured the maxi pad over his mouth. “Bet you’re sorry The Corporation gave us wings now, aren’t you?”
“Take these flare guns. They might come in handy,” Petra said, grabbing two from the wall and tossing them to the girls.
Mary Lou and Tane swam out into the night ocean. And the other girls gathered their tampons, gummi bears, and beauty samples — a smokescreen of female products — and headed back up to the surface.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(A high school hallway. A girl, MARCIA, slams her locker door in frustration. She looks haggard. NATALIE and RACHEL stand off to one side, watching and shaking their heads.)
RACHEL
Marcia sure is in a bad mood. And she looks awful!
NATALIE
I hear it’s that time of the month.
RACHEL
I guess somebody doesn’t know how much fun having your period can be with new Maxi-Pad Pets — the revolutionary new fashion maxi pad that makes you feel like you’ve got a special friend in your pants.
MARCIA
All I’ve got are wings. Wings!
NATALIE
Wings are so last month! New Maxi-Pad Pets come in twelve different pet-pal shapes so you can change your mood as often as you change your pad!
CUT TO: Close-ups of various girls: sexy, cute, quirky, tomboy, adventurous.
GIRL #1
I’m a sexy lynx — rarrrr!
GIRL #2
I’m a cute, cuddly puppy!
GIRL #3
I’m a playful platypus!
GIRL #4
I’m a happy hamster!
GIRL #5
Guess who’s got a tiger in her trousers?
CUT TO: A cup of blue liquid being poured into the belly of a Maxi-Pad Lion Cub.
NATALIE VOICEOVER
Find your perfect shape today! And Maxi-Pad Pets are superabsorbent. This blue liquid shows how effective Maxi-Pad Pets are at collecting small thimblefuls of blue liquid.
CUT TO: Marcia sitting on the sidelines in PE, glaring at her gym teacher and cradling a huge bottle of Ibuprofen.
RACHEL
So stop bothering everybody with your cramps, bloating, and irritability, and start showing everybody how much fun you are during that time of the month. Your period, your Maxi-Pad Pet, your way!
CUT TO: Next day. Same hallway. A smiling Marcia is surrounded by friends. She is the life of the party.
RACHEL
Marcia, you sure are the most popular girl in this hallway!
MARCIA
Well, everybody loves a teddy bear. (Girls laugh. Marcia gives a thumbs-up.) Thanks, Maxi-Pad Pets!
NATALIE VO
New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
The morning fog rolled across the water in a wall. The camp was filled with movement. Tracks were being covered. Identifying markers were placed on the tents, making it seem as if it were a rebel training ground instead of a Corporation outpost. The girls had set themselves up off to the side of the volcano, where they practiced circle-turns and dance moves as if that were the only thing on their minds. Adina wrote questions on index cards. They’d convinced The Corporation that Adina would make a terrific host for the show since her ambition was to become “the hostess of a dance-show competition between warring nations in an effort to forge peace between them.” As Fabio Testosterone had been caught frolicking in an illegal Skee-Ball emporium with the hot male star of Your Blood Is, Like, So Hot46, The Corporation agreed.
“So, we’ve got the intro singing number, the evening gown, talent, bathing suit, interview, followed by a final dance number, and then the crowning. It all comes down to the dance number,” Shanti said. “Once we start the dance number, you’ve got three minutes and eight seconds.”
Nicole whistled. “That’s not a lot of time.”
“Every problem is a solution in disguise,” Shanti said, echoing one of the Miss Teen Dream manual’s affirmations.
“Really with the slogans?” Adina snarked.
“Okay. How about this: If we don’t peel off one by one and start running for the yacht by the end of the song, we’re dead.”
“Surprisingly motivating. Teen Dreamers, we’ve got one shot: Place the tampered Lady ’Stache Off at the end of the runway. Aim the flare gun at it and run like hell. Make it back here, then head for the docking cave and pray that Mary Lou and Tane got control of the yacht. Everyone know their parts?”
The girls nodded. Tiara put a hand to her stomach. “Ohmigosh, y’all, I’m so nervous! What if I mess up?”
Adina put a hand on Tiara’s shoulder. “You’re not going to mess up, Tiara. You can do this. You built a hut. You learned to fish and catch rainwater for drinking. You’re a survivor.”
“Okay,” Tiara whispered. “Okay.”
A black shirt strode over, hands at his hips. “What are you girls gossiping about over there?”
“Pageant stuff,” Adina said, forcing herself to sound extrachipper and borderline stupid, the tone that disarmed people, made them think you weren’t a threat. The black shirt smiled. It was astonishing how easily that worked. Adina smiled back. Her smile said, You will not know what hit you, jerkface.
Jeeps carried them through the jungle. Adina looked for Taylor, but she was nowhere to be seen. The girls’ camp bounced into view, and seeing everything — the huts, the rainwater tarp, the sequined banner — Adina felt a surge of pride. They’d done this on their own, without any help. It was better than any feeling she could remember. And now these jerks wanted to take it all away. She could only hope the girls’ plan would work.
The Jeeps came to a stop on top of the HELP stones. “Not bad,” Agent Jones said appreciatively. He cut one of the fishing lines.
“What are you doing?” Shanti barked.
“You don’t need them anymore, right? Now that you’ve been rescued.”
“Yeah, but you could ask first. We worked hard on those.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t hurt my feelings. You pissed me off,” Shanti said, glaring. “There’s a difference.”
“Remember,” Petra whispered. “Play it cool.”
Shanti forced a smile. “Um, no offense or anything. I’m not mad, I’m just kind of sad. And emotional.”
Agent Jones patted her shoulder. “Understandable. You girls have been through a lot. Tonight, all you have to do is smile and wave.” He cut the other fishing line and let them both drift out to sea.
The black shirts had been busy setting up a performance area on the beach. They’d constructed a wooden stage with a red curtain across the front. Now they were building a runway.
“We’ve run out of wood,” one of the black shirts called.
“Just take it from one of the huts,” Agent Jones shot back, and the black shirts tore the walls from Tiara’s home.
“My place!” she cried.
Petra wrapped her up in a big hug. “Come on. Let’s go get our game faces on.”
Adina took Nicole aside. “I need you to cover for me.”
“What are you going to do?”