Gram listens intently, her eyes growing wider the longer I talk, and she finally lets out a little whistle. “Oh, boy. You have your work cut for you, I’m afraid.”
Taking a deep breath, I stare at the old grandfather clock against the wall, which belonged to my great grandfather, and then my grandfather. The cherry wood is gorgeous and perfectly carved, and the ticking lulls me as I stare at it, almost hypnotizing me. Gram knows that I’m in love with this clock and has promised to will it to me when she passes, which is something I don’t even want to think about, but I will cherish that clock forever.
“If you really like her, you’re going to have to be patient with her, but also let her know how you feel. She probably feels very confused right now and distrusting of men in general, and I really don’t blame her.”
“You’re right. She’s scared. I can see it when I talk to her.”
“I’m sure she is. And the age thing, for her, it probably seems like a big deal. I would guess that she feels much older than she actually is. You’re mature for your age, and eventually, she’ll see that, but it’s going to take some time.”
“So what do I do? I kissed her last night, and it was off the charts. I know she felt it, too, but she keeps putting walls up.”
“I’m not sure, love. I think you’re going to just have to give her time. Let her know that you’re willing to wait for her. Are you?”
“Hell, yeah. I’ll wait. I don’t want to, obviously. But for her, yeah . . . I’ll wait.
She puts her small hand on my arm. “She needs to feel like you could be something stable for her. Her husband just shattered her world, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, she was blindsided. For real.”
“Then you have to gain her trust. She has to find out what a wonderful man you are. And you really are, Lukas. You’re a gentleman. She doesn’t know it right now, but soon she will, and she will be very lucky to have you in her life.”
I don’t mind giving Ivy time to figure out that I’m not gonna hurt her, but damn, I want her. Now.
Gram squeezes my arm softly to get my attention. “And what about the children? Are you ready to be involved with a woman who has two children? That’s a lot of responsibility, and it won’t be easy. She’s not going to be able to just get up and go on a whim, or hang out all night at concerts with you. Have you thought about all of that?”
I roll my head back and forth against the couch. “Well . . . sorta, but maybe not in that much detail. I love kids. I have no problem with her having children. I haven’t even told her I play in the band sometimes.”
She smacks my arm. “Lukas! You have to tell her. No secrets, all right? When will you boys learn? I tell you all over and over. No lies. No secrets. Why is it so hard?” She shakes her head in exasperation.
Laughing, I give in, knowing she’s right. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell her. I’m going to ask her to come to the next show with me. Maybe she’ll actually say yes.”
“You have to bring her here when you get this sorted. I want to meet her.”
“Definitely. I could love this chick, Gram. I can feel it. She’s the one.”
A huge smile spreads across her face, and her eyes sparkle. “You are such a romantic, Lukas. You’re just like your grandfather. You remind me so much of him when he was your age.”
I straighten up and turn fully toward her, interested to hear more about my grandfather. “Really? What was he like?”
She literally glows as she gazes at his photograph on the wall. “He was a very special man. Smart. Generous. Good looking. Everybody loved him.”
“I wish I could have met him.”
“I think most of you boys get your romantic side from him. Your Uncle Ronnie is the same way. Unfortunately, your father is not. He’s not a lover, but a drifter. He doesn’t know what he wants. He never has.”
I stare at the clock and chew the inside of my cheek before asking my next question, not sure I want to hear the answer. “Do you ever hear from him? My father?”
She shakes her head and frowns. “No. Not since your grandfather passed.” Her voice drops. “But that’s okay. He told me about you and Vandal, and that’s all that matters. I can’t chase your father anymore. He’s taken years off my life already.”
“I don’t understand what his deal is. Why doesn’t he care about us?” I’ll never understand why my parents didn’t want me, and even though I try to tell myself it doesn’t matter, and that it’s their loss, and all the other bullshit that therapists and shrinks fed me growing up, it still bothers me that I was given away and forgotten like trash.
“Sweetheart, he doesn’t even care about himself. He’s not capable of caring about anyone else. We all love you and Vandal, no matter what. Don’t let his bad choices and shortcomings affect you.”
I crack my knuckles and stand up. “I should get going.” I take her hand and help her up. “Thanks for listening to me.”
“Anytime. You’ll be here for Christmas? You can bring your friend, and her children. The more the merrier.”
I’m not sure Ivy will be ready to have a family Christmas dinner with me in a few weeks. Especially with this crew. “We’ll see, Gram.”
Vandal and Katie are still at the kitchen table coloring when we return from our talk, and my cousin Talon has joined them. Vandal is grinning like an idiot.
“What’s so funny?” I ask him.
He nods his head at Talon. “Tell him.”
My cousin just shakes his head and says nothing. “Tal, tell me,” I say. “What’s up?”
“He’s getting married!” Katie yells excitedly.
“What? To who?” I don’t even remember him having a girlfriend.
“In a month or two, I’m not sure yet.”
Vandal nudges him again. “Tell him all of it.”
Talon makes a face, and I can tell Vandal is pissing him off. “It’s a social experiment that a group of psychologists and relationship experts are running. My mom is friends with the director.”
I squint at him. “Social experiment? What’s that mean?”
“He’s gonna marry a total fucking stranger,” Vandal interrupts. “Like a lab rat.”
My gaze rivets on Talon, shocked. “Wow, really? A stranger?”
He nods. “Yeah. We don’t get to meet or see each other, or know anything about each other at all. We see each other for the first time at the wedding.”
“Holy shit.” I don’t know what else to even say. It’s crazy, but also, kinda cool.
“We have to fill out all these quizzes and talk to the shrinks, and they match us up with what they think is our perfect match. So, we get married and have to stay together for six months. After that, we can stay together or split up, and we each get fifty thousand dollars.”
“So you’re doing this for the money, right?” Vandal asks.
“No, asshole. I don’t need money. I have shit luck with chicks. I want to see if this works.”
I lean against the wall, captivated with this idea. “I think it’s wild,” I say. “Is it televised? Like a reality show?”
He shakes his long brown hair. “No. We just journal everything.”
“Well, I think it’s cool, and I’m really interested to see how it goes.”
“Aren’t you supportive?” Vandal teases.
“You’re a dick.”
“Boys! I cannot even count the amount of money you owe me right now. Do you think I can’t hear you just because I’m over here making meringue?”
“Sorry, Gram,” we all say in unison.
“And you,” she points to Vandal. “Leave your cousin and your brother alone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find love.”
“They’re gonna find themselves buying Divorce for Dummies, Gram. Don’t you care?”
She throws a bowl into the sink. “Of course I care. But I want you to be nice to others.”
“I can’t, Gram. The darkness lives in me.”
Gram shakes her head, but I can tell she’s laughing. Vandal is gonna make her insane. And rich.
“I’m outta here,” I say. “Van, I’ll see you on Monday?”
He nods without looking up at me because he’s coloring a butterfly black in Katie’s book. “Yup,” he says.
“Talon, good luck, man.”
“Thanks.”
Katie stands up on her chair and puts her arms around my neck. I hug her back tightly. “Uncle Lukas, do you want to come home with us tonight?”
Kissing her forehead, I gently place her back down on the chair. “Not tonight, baby. But when Daddy needs me to babysit, you can come to my place.”
“Yay!” she yells.
“Tonight, we’re watching cartoons, Katie-bug,” Vandal says, and then glances to me. “Lukas, you can come hang out if you want.”
“Thanks, but I’ve got some stuff to do.” I grab another cookie and give Gram a hug as she hands me a big Tupperware container filled with cookies and brownies.
“Take these, honey.”
Well, damn. I’m going to be on a sugar high for the rest of the weekend.
IVY
I STOP AT MACY’S BEDROOM DOOR and peek inside to see what she’s doing. She’s laying on her bed, reading with her ear buds in. Her room is actually clean for once, which is a huge difference from a few months ago when she had so many clothes thrown around that I couldn’t see the floor. I hope this is going to be a new habit.
She suddenly looks up and pulls the ear buds off. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”
“I’m heading out, but I won’t be home late. What time is Shelly coming over?”
“She’s on her way here now. Did you talk to that cute guy? Maybe kinda hint around that I like him?”