I sat huddled in my room, Phoebe on my lap. The feeling of that night came flowing back over me as I sat there. I had a better handle on it now, but I knew that that loud booming above me would always remind me of feeling alone and helpless.
I had several candles burning around my bedroom in case the power went out. Normally, candles provided a calming, romantic atmosphere, but tonight the shadows they cast on the walls surrounding me made the storm even scarier, more unnerving.
I heard a soft knock at my door and startled. Phoebe perked her ears up and barked softly. Who the hell was that?
I had already had him in the forefront of my mind because of the storm, and so my heart rate accelerated as I slowly got up off my bed and tiptoed down the hall, Phoebe at my heels.
I went to the front window and peeked out the curtain where I could just barely see my porch in front of the door. Archer was leaned back, looking at me as I stared at him. My heart started pounding as I took in his drenched form, his jeans and white t-shirt plastered to his body. Oh God, he must have walked here in the downpour.
I only hesitated for a second before I hurried to the door and flung it open to the sound of the rain pounding the ground in front of my porch. A loud clap of thunder shook the cottage and I jumped slightly, causing Archer to take a step toward me.
What are you doing here? I asked.
You don't like thunderstorms, he answered.
I tilted my head, confused. You walked a mile in the rain because I don't like thunderstorms?
He hesitated for a second, looking away, frowning slightly. Then he looked back at me and said simply, yes. He paused, his expression pained. I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but I just thought if I sat on your porch, you wouldn't be scared. You wouldn't be alone.
Oh God.
I couldn't help it, my face crumpled and I started to cry.
Archer took a tentative step toward me and silently asked permission as he looked into my eyes. I nodded at him, acknowledging his unspoken question, and he took me in his arms and pressed me to him.
I brought my arms up around him and buried my face in his neck, breathing in his clean, rainy scent. I cried silently in his arms for several minutes as he held me, rubbing circles on my back, his warm breath on my ear, his drenched clothing soaking me too. For those few minutes, I was oblivious to the thunder and rain coming down noisily all around us–for those few minutes, it was only me and him, and nothing else.
I wasn't sure what to think. I only knew that this felt right. He was still my best friend, my sweet, silent boy, and I had missed him so desperately that I ached. He had hurt me and yet I clung to him as if my very life depended on it.
After a few minutes, I leaned back, looking up at his face. He looked down at me so sweetly and tenderly that my heart squeezed tightly in my chest.
You hurt me, I said, stepping back.
Sadness filled his expression and he nodded, acknowledging that he knew he had.
Let me fix it, he said, please. I want to fix it. What can I do?
I breathed out, dropping my shoulders. You had sex with another woman, Archer.
He shook his head, I didn't have sex with her, I just… was with her.
My brows furrowed and I jerked my head back. What? I thought you were… wait, what does 'you were with her' mean exactly? I didn't know what he was going to tell me, but relief washed over me when I realized that he hadn't gone all the way with her.
He sighed, running a hand over his wet head, and then shaking his hand down at his side. I… Is this… he sighed again. She took me in the back room and kissed my neck and brought my hands to her br**sts. My body… reacted. He closed his eyes for a couple beats and then opened them. She told me Travis had paid for her to have sex with me, but it didn't feel right and so I left. That's what happened. I'm so sorry. I knew it wasn't right, I didn't want that. I mean… I … God. Shame filled his face as he looked down again.
I released the breath I'd been holding and laughed softly, shaking my head. Archer took my chin in his freezing cold fingers and tilted my head up. He looked at me with questioning eyes.
You got a lap dance, Archer, and it went too far. But you said no to her and left. I studied him for a second. Why did you say no? Tell me.
He didn't say anything for a few beats and then, Because I don't want to be with anyone except you. I didn't want her, I only want you. I only want you, Bree.
As we stood there in my doorway, looking into each other's eyes, I noticed that he was trembling and his lips were turning blue, a pool of water on my dry porch beneath him.
I pulled him inside. "Oh my God, you're freezing," I said, my hands busy pulling him. "We have to get you warm."
I walked him into my bathroom and turned on the shower, warm steam immediately billowing out into the small room. I started pulling his clothes off, his sweatshirt and his t-shirt, and he let me, his eyes trained on my face, only helping out where I needed him to. He kicked his shoes off, and I knelt before him and peeled his wet socks off his feet and then stood up again, my eyes moving up his abs to his chest as I came slowly upright. The room suddenly seemed even warmer. I bit my lip and looked up into his beautiful face.
You get in the shower, I said when he was standing in nothing but his jeans. I need to change too, I said, looking down at my wet nightshirt.
He nodded, and I turned jerkily and left the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a second, biting my lip again. I groaned softly. "Only you, Bree," I said quietly. "Only you would fall in love with the local, mute loner." But then I grinned. Yes, local, mute loner, but my local, mute loner.