I’m nervous now. Hesitant. Until the guy next to me breathes a bunch of heinous salami breath in my face and says, “If you don’t take the first-class seat, love, I will.”
Oh, hell no you won’t. As quickly as I can, I grab my purse and get to my feet and then I wait while everyone else has to get to their feet and exit the row. Then I grab my carry-on from the overhead bin–which nearly slams into my head and takes me out–and awkwardly follow the flight attendant up the aisle.
Everyone is looking at me like I really am getting kicked off.
Oh shit. What did I do? Is it the pants? Yoga pants aren’t leggings.
But when we get to the door I came in through, she keeps walking.
Through premium economy and past the stairs that lead up to the upper deck.
All the way to first class, at the nose of the plane.
Nearly every seat is taken but thankfully no one is paying any attention to me.
The girl in size-too-small Lululemon pants who obviously doesn’t belong up here.
The attendant points to an empty pod in the middle and takes my bag from me. “Here you go.”
“Are you serious?” I whisper to her.
She just gives me a quick smile and walks off.
I slowly ease myself down in the seat. There’s a pod right on the other side of me but with the partition up it feels like I have my own damn bedroom.
I put my purse beneath the table, flip over the menu, press some buttons, adjust my seat.
Oh my god. This is fucking heaven.
I start fiddling with my seat, making it go into a bed and then back up again.
This is the best.
“Having fun over there, sunshine?”
I freeze. Blink.
I didn’t just hear that…did I?
I look around. We’ve just pushed back from the gate and the attendants are about to go into their safety demonstration. No one is looking at me.
But that voice, his voice…it didn’t just come from nowhere, did it?
With my heart galloping in my throat, I unbuckle my belt and very slowly stand up until I’m peering over the partition at the seat on the other side.
Emmett is staring up at me.
“Ahhh!” I cry out and immediately flop down into my seat.
Now everyone is looking at me.
Slowly the partition comes down.
I think I might just die.
Emmett is sitting right beside me, a wry grin on his face.
Oh god, his beautiful face.
His face that feels like home.
“Hey,” he says softly, then peers over at my lap. “You better buckle up.”
I can’t take my eyes off of him. I don’t want to. I’m afraid if I do, he’ll disappear. I don’t want to let him go. Not now, not ever.
How is this real?
Somehow, I manage to buckle myself back up without looking but the words just don’t form.
“I hope you like the upgrade,” he says to me, watching me warily. “I had to pull a few strings to make it happen but luckily the flight attendant was game.”
My mouth flaps open. Closed.
“How are you…how are you here?”
His mouth quirks up. “I heard you were leaving. I thought I would leave with you.”
“But…but…”
Oh my god. I can’t believe this for even a second.
And the crazy thing is, I imagined if I saw Emmett again that I would just see him and Autumn kissing in my mind. That I would feel pain and anger and shame.
But I don’t feel any of that anymore.
None of that matters anymore.
Because it was never ever true.
The only true thing is him, right here, with me.
Holy crow.
“Is this really happening?” I ask him softly.
He places his hand on the ledge between us, palm up. “It’s real.” I put my hand in his and close my eyes as he holds it tight. “It’s real, baby. Everything. All of this. You, me. I know you’re still mad and you’re hurt and I get it, I really do. I know I fucked up. But I couldn’t just let you walk out of my life. I love you, Alyssa. More than I ever thought I could love anyone. More than I thought was possible. I love you and I am not letting you go without a fight.”
I swallow hard, the tears finally bubbling up. “I love you too,” I whisper, opening my eyes. “I’m so sorry I ignored you, I–”
“No, I get it,” he says, leaning forward, his beautiful eyes searching mine. “I get it. I don’t expect you to take me back, not after what happened. Not after everything. But I had to make sure. I had to have a shot. I had to try. Alyssa, our relationship was built on a lie, it was fucked up from the start. It’s never been straight forward or easy. It’s only been complicated. And while I know that it tested us, I just want to start again. From the beginning. I want to start over, you and me. One hundred per cent real. Only passion, no performance.” He breathes in deep. “I don’t know how to make it up to you, or what to say. But I figure I have a captive audience for the next ten hours and I’m going to use every single second to convince you to come back to me.”
I can’t help but smile. “Well, if you’ve had a whole play planned out, then I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
“I had you at hello?”
I laugh. “You had me at a first-class upgrade.”
God. I’m giddy. Giddy!
“Well then,” he says, giving my hand a squeeze. “I’m glad that won you over. You put someone in coach, crammed in like cattle in a feedlot, and then bring them up here and they’ll promise you the world.”
“Seriously though,” I tell him, feeling so much bubbling through me, I don’t know what to do with myself. Gah. “I’m…I’m so glad you came after me. I didn’t want to leave it like I did, I just didn’t know what to do. I was so hurt.”
“I know.”
“And now I know that it doesn’t matter. I believe you, Emmett, and more than that, I trust you. And I want to be with you, always, forever. Just us.” I pause. “And now we’re both flying across the world together. I didn’t really see that one coming.”
“I did,” he says simply.
“How?”
He shrugs. “You kept talking about acting. I kept talking about going back to London. I figured at some point we would go together. This whole thing with Autumn was a horrible wrench thrown in the plans but this…” he gestures to the plane, “us. It was all supposed to happen.”
“The grand design?”
“Something like that. More like, I know you and you know me and this makes sense.”
“Well I’m glad it makes sense to someone because I left a bunch of shocked people behind in Vancouver.”
“Nah, they get it. They all want what’s best for you. They know you’ll never be happy unless you head out and try to find what you’re looking for.”
“But what if I’ve just been looking for you?”
“Then you have me.” He raises my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “You have me, body, heart and soul. And for whatever else we’re looking for in life, the passion, we’ll look for it together.” Then he leans across the divider and kisses me, soft and sweet and achingly beautiful. “I love you, sunshine,” he says against my lips.
“I love you, too.”
We hold hands while the plane taxis down the runway.
And then we’re flying.
Epilogue
Alyssa
A year later
“Bloody hell, he’s good.”
I glance over at my friend Jodi who is leaning forward in her seat, her eyes glued to Emmett as he moves fluidly across the stage.
Emmett’s only had the role of Professor Henry Higgins in the musical My Fair Lady for a few weeks now and already most of London is flocking to see him every single night. The headlines here have been calling him the sexiest professor ever, and there’s no question why. Emmett’s true calling isn’t playing some dopey spineless teenager or the villain of a superhero (which, can we just say, has the lamest power ever). Emmett’s true self is on the stage: acting his heart out, singing, dancing. Being one hundred per cent him.
The man can move, that I’ve always known (especially in the bedroom) and manages to make dancing both elegant and masculine. And then there is his voice. Bold and deep, it’s like when I first saw Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge, how when he opened his mouth, I was floored at all the talent I didn’t know was inside him.