Murmurs of agreement.
“Anyone have anything else to say?” he asks, glancing around the room.
Silence.
“Let’s do what we have to then.”
Everyone leaves the room except me and Sin.
Then I tell him exactly what’s been on my mind.
THIRTY-ONE
Shayla
“I HATE that everyone has to leave because of me,” I tell Sin, looking down at the floor. “This is your home. I never should have come here. We should’ve known it wouldn’t end well.”
“Shay,” Sin starts, patting Colt but his eyes are locked on me. “We’re bikers. We live our life a certain way, and with that comes danger. This isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time shit like this happens. More than anything, we’re family, and we all look after one another. The women will understand, trust me. They’ve all been in some kind of shit at one point or another, and we always saved them, just like we’re gonna save you. You just need to be patient and trust that your man is doing his best to bring all this shit to an end.”
“I do trust him,” I try to explain. “I guess I just wish he didn’t have to do all this, you know? Why couldn’t I just be normal?”
“Then you probably wouldn’t have met Vinnie,” Sin points out, sounding amused. “There’s no point wishing for shit; the only thing you can do is work toward your goal of getting what it is you want. I’ve seen the way you and Vinnie are together. I know you care for him. I’ve seen how you look after him.” Colt runs off, and he watches him. “Love the man, love the club. We’re a package deal, and you fit in here, Shay. Maybe that makes you fuckin’ crazy too, but you do. The women love you. The men go out of their way to teach you how to shoot guns, and shit; hell, even Clover talks about her aunty Shay now. I wasn’t sure about you at the start, but Vinnie was right. He never makes decisions lightly. Everything with him is thought out. The fact that he brought you here spoke volumes and surprised us all, to be honest, but Vinnie knows what he wants.”
His words mean everything.
“Thanks, Sin,” I say, smiling at him. “I really needed to hear that right now, because I’m second-guessing everything, just because I feel the exact same way about everyone here, and it breaks my heart that you’re all getting dragged into my shit. I even thought about leaving—”
“We’ll find you,” Sin cuts me off. “And it just wastes our time, and it will stress Vinnie out; you don’t want to do that, do you?”
“No,” I say on a sigh. “I don’t know what’s more selfish, me staying or me leaving.”
“You’re not selfish. You’re in a bad situation—you didn’t ask for it, and you didn’t do anything wrong. There’s no point concentrating on all the details, Shay. Everyone pays for their family’s mistakes in some way, your price just happens to be high.” He pauses and smirks. “Like people-wanting-to-kill-you high.”
I roll my eyes at his badly timed joke. I have no idea how he can find anything funny about this situation. “If anything happens to Vinnie . . .”
“It won’t,” Sin says, sounding confident enough for the two of us. “Because I won’t let it.”
He sounds so sure, even though we both don’t know what the future will bring.
“Okay, no more feeling sorry for myself,” I decide, choosing to be more optimistic like him.
“That’s it,” he says, nodding. “You have to fight for your happiness; everyone has a different war, but you need to tell yourself that you’re going to win. Who’s going to believe in you if you don’t?”
Vinnie will, I think to myself.
Sin smiles, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “You’re a good egg, Shay.”
“About time you realized that,” I tease.
He barks out a deep laugh. “I didn’t get where I am today by trusting everyone I meet. My trust is earned, not freely given. I observe; I analyze.” He pauses and grins slyly. “I consult my know-it-all wife.”
I laugh with him over that one. “So now we plan for war?”
“Something like that,” he says, standing up. “We were hoping you’d make us dinner, since you’re the only woman left in the clubhouse.”
It’s then that I give the president of the Wind Dragons the finger.
He throws his head back and laughs, then disappears inside.
I end up making them dinner. After all, it’s the least I can do. Plus, like Sin said, love the man, love the club.
And I sure as hell love both.
* * *
Several days later, I’m packed and ready to deal with my father’s house. Vinnie and Sin are coming with me, and although I feel like this is an unsafe trip, the two of them assured me that it’s going to be fine, that they’ve covered every angle. Faye and Clover are staying with Tracker and Lana until we get back—we decided it would be easier to just spend the night there. The thought of going through all my father’s belongings and putting them into storage makes me feel sick, but it needs to be done. I need to start facing things head-on, and I’m going to start with this. It’s a six-hour drive to get there, and although I offer, for some reason Vinnie is adamant that he drive the whole way there and back.
“I can drive, you know,” I say, wanting to prop my feet up on the dash, but I don’t, because we’re in Vinnie’s four-wheel drive, not my car. “You’re going to get tired if we drive the whole way.”