And if I have to fight for it, I will.
EIGHT
I FINALLY found an apartment—with Ardan’s help. He wouldn’t have it any other way. The new place is a two-bedroom, one-bath modern apartment close to work, and in a safe neighborhood, according to him. I have to admit that I’m pretty in love with it. Things with Ardan have been amazing, and I’ve found myself spending a lot of time with him over the last few weeks, getting to know him and learning to trust him. I haven’t heard anything from Darren, so I’m hoping he’s finally decided to move on and leave me alone, even though deep down I don’t believe it for a second.
When I moved into my new apartment, Ardan helped me. By help, I mean he got one of his friends, a part-scary, part-sexy bearded man by the name of Arrow, to carry everything in with him while I stood by idly and watched. I bought some secondhand furniture for the place but splurged on a brand-new bed and mattress. I never want to get out of bed in the mornings, but I do have the best sleep ever.
We’re sitting on the couch a few nights after I moved in, him in the corner and me in the middle, having a drink. I have a glass of red wine, while Ardan has a whiskey.
“Why are you so far away?” I ask, flashing him my most enticing bedroom eyes. “Come over here.”
“You come here,” he says, watching me like a hawk. I roll my eyes but give in and move next to him.
“I can’t stay long tonight,” he says, running his free hand through my hair.
“Why?” I ask, not angry, just curious. “I thought you were going to spend the night.”
“Yeah, I was,” he says, lifting my face up and looking me in the eye. “I forgot we have something going on at the clubhouse tonight, and I can’t miss it. I’m showing up late, but I have to be there.”
“Okay,” I say, laughing at his surprised expression, like he expected me to get mad over it.
“That’s it? Just okay?” he asks, voice laced with suspicion, his eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, I mean I know the club is important to you, and it’s who you are, even though I don’t really know much about it.” I don’t think you can change a man. I either take Ardan as he is or not at all, and from what I’ve seen so far, he’s been nothing short of amazing.
He flashes me a crooked smile. “Where the fuck did you come from, darlin’? And why did you make me wait so long to find you?”
I laugh at that and put my glass down on the table before wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my cheek against his chest.
“I was taken by someone who didn’t deserve me,” I say, placing a kiss on his chest. “I should have left sooner, instead of wasting time, but who knows? Maybe then we wouldn’t have even met.”
“Fucker,” he grumbles, running his hand down my back. “He must be fuckin’ stupid not to do everything possible to keep a woman like you.” He pauses. “Not that I’m complaining, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”
The sad thing is, Darren did try to keep me, but with threats and guilt trips instead of treating me right. He’d mess with my head, make me believe that it was me who was lacking, that it was my fault things were the way they were. When someone keeps telling you over and over again that you’re not good enough, in the back of your mind, no matter how strong you are, you start to wonder if that person is right. When you see other people being treated so well, being respected and cared for, you wonder why you don’t have that. What is it about you that drew in someone like that? The whole thing almost destroyed me and I’m so happy to be away from it. All the negativity has drained away, leaving behind feelings of hope and positivity, and the chance of starting over.
“I want to hear everything about your past,” he says softly. “When you’re ready, of course. You know there’s nothing you can’t tell me, right?”
“I know. I’m just happy I moved here,” I tell him honestly. “It’s been so good for me. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”
Ardan leans forward to put his glass down next to mine and then lifts me so I’m sitting across his lap.
“You know, when I saw you, I just wanted you,” he says, his eyes turning heavy. “That’s never happened to me before.” His expression turns sheepish. “I mean, yeah, I’ve seen women and wanted to fuck them before, but I’ve never seen a woman and just wanted . . . her. Fuck, it’s hard to explain. It was just a different feeling. I want to say it was that I wanted to possess you, but that sounds fucked-up.” He exhales and lowers his gaze to my lips. “Something in me just wanted something in you.”
“I get it,” I say, licking my lips. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.”
“Good,” he says, kissing me hungrily. I taste the whiskey on his lips as I pull away, our eyes still locked.
I reach my fingers out absently to touch the scar on his neck as I say, “Shall we take this to the bedroom?”
His lip twitches and his dark eyes flash with amusement. “Pretty sure that’s my line.”
“Well, hurry up and make your move, then, because I want you inside me,” I say, not holding back. I find myself feeling comfortable saying almost anything to this man—I don’t feel shy or that he will judge me. I know for a fact my bold words turn him on, which he proves yet again as I feel him grow hard under me. “I can feel your interest.”