“I’ve been watching you for a while, Lana. It’s not like this thing just formed overnight,” he continues, cutting into my thoughts.
“What thing?” I ask, still stuck on his compliments.
He gestures between the two of us. “This . . . thing. Connection. Obsession. Fascination. Whatever the hell you want to call it.”
Obsession? My head is spinning with the things coming out of his mouth. Was he serious about this? I knew there was obsession on my side, but from his? It’s clear as day that he wants me, but I’m not sure about his plans for me down the road. He’s not thinking love and marriage, that’s for sure. Dating? How casual would he want to be? Could I do casual with him, when I was already in so deep and we haven’t even been together? Can I even trust his words? I like to think so. I know he’s a good man, but I’ve also heard stories about all the men in the MC. They aren’t exactly known for being angels, and I’d be stupid not to take that into consideration. And then there is Allie. Is it really over? What does he feel for her now? So many questions!
It is the standard issue, my heart fighting with my head. Could I sleep with him and be okay with losing him after that? Knowing him, he’d ruin me for other men. I just can’t win.
“Lust at first sight?” I suggest, my eyes roaming boldly over his body, trying to lighten the conversation. It works.
He throws his head back and laughs. “Yeah, there’s definitely some of that. Every time I see you I get hard as a rock. It’s quite fuckin’ inconvenient, really.”
“Tracker!” I groan, rubbing my forehead with my palm. “Children’s party, remember?”
“Well, that fucker tried to pick you up at this party,” he reminds me, sounding amused. “That wasn’t children’s party behavior. Does he come to these parties to pick up single mothers or something? Seems like an asshole to me.”
“Fuck that guy,” I blurt out, making him laugh even harder. His shoulders shake with the effort, and everyone around us turns to stare.
“Fuckin’ hell, Lana, we’re at a kid’s function. Watch your mouth,” he says, shaking his head.
My face hurts from smiling. I scan the party, my smile dropping. “Did that little girl just push Clover?”
I look around, gearing for a fight, my fingernails digging into my palms. “That’s it. Where’s that girl’s mom?” She was going to get a stern talking-to.
Tracker’s body shakes with laughter, he tries to contain it but he can’t. “So it’s okay for you to act like this but not me? Fuck it. You go after the girl’s mom, I’ll go after that kid’s dad. Let’s show everyone they should know better than to mess with our Clover.”
“Oh,” I say, my eyes still on them. “Never mind. She didn’t push her, they’re playing tag.”
Tracker’s eyes crinkle. “Common mistake.”
The two of us laugh some more.
“No wonder Anna likes hanging around you,” I say, puffing out a breath. “You’re fun to be around.”
“I try and make the best of every situation,” he replies, shrugging his broad shoulders. “You only live once, right?”
I nod my head. “You’re easy to be around; yet people who get on your bad side should run and hide.”
“Best of both worlds,” he teases. “I’m a bit of everything.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I say with our gazes locked. “It would be much easier if you were an asshole.”
His smirk lets me know he doesn’t take offense. “What would be much easier?”
“Staying away from you,” I say lightly, even though it’s the cold, hard truth.
“Trust me, you aren’t the only one struggling with that,” he admits quietly, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Tried to stay away, thought you didn’t fit, but you do. You’re just as strong, if not more so than the other women. You’re fiercely loyal. It’s hard to find someone like that nowadays. Most people have their own agenda.”
I nod, because I know that’s the truth. There are lots of good people out there, but there are also a lot of assholes. You have to learn how to weed out the good from the bad, but sometimes you just have to learn the hard way.
“I think loyalty is one of the best qualities someone can have,” I agree. “I’m glad you think that of me, Tracker. That is the best compliment you’ve ever given me.”
“I’m glad it’s true,” he replies easily. “No need to thank me.”
I stare at his handsome profile, his jawline, the stubble on his face. The vein in his thick neck.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he replies in a husky tone, watching me from the corner of his eye. “Or else one of the prospects will come watch Clover, and you and I will be alone and doing something I can’t mention at a kid’s party.”
I gulp. “So . . . the weather is nice today,” I blurt out, inciting a chuckle from him.
“It is,” he murmurs. “Beautiful, actually.”
I turn to see him watching me, and something passes between us. I acknowledge the fact that he is interested in me. He wants something from me. The problem is, he doesn’t know what it is yet, and I don’t want to trust him with my heart. Yet. I don’t want to get attached to him, but realistically I already am.
I’m just in fucking denial.