I shrugged and handed her phone back. “He is cute. I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Your loss. He won’t stay single long. Once word gets ’round there’s fresh meat in town—cute, funny, and has a good job—you know someone will snatch him right up.”
She was right. Pickings were slim around here.
“If you like him so much, you date him,” I fired back, getting slightly annoyed that a girl couldn’t enjoy her massive cinnamon roll in peace.
“I told you, there’s no way. I wouldn’t want to start something with someone I work with.”
I’d wanted to tell her about Shaw and me so many times, and never more than right now. The idea of opening up and unloading this burden off my chest sounded appealing, as did getting some honest advice about what the hell his confusing stops and starts all meant.
But the urge to guard our secret won out, and I changed the subject to the new book I was reading instead. It felt safe. And right now, being safe seemed a hell of a lot more important than following my forbidden dreams.
Chapter Ten
Chloe
Shaw hadn’t texted me again, or called, or swung by. His silence was deafening. And his absence from my days left a hole in my heart. But wandering through my days knowing I was the one who’d driven him away? That stung the worst of all.
Everything was right on the surface, every memory so fresh and raw it stung when I thought of him. But so many of my memories included him. The sight of him in his favorite baby-blue swim trunks when we learned to surf, his green eyes smiling with joy when he caught a wave. Then the darker memories. The vacant look on his face at the funeral as the casket was lowered into the ground. I wanted to take that all away, replace it with new memories.
My heart was my own worst enemy. And the traitorous bitch was playing for keeps. I’d been so desperate to hear him tell me I meant everything to him, to hear him say he couldn’t live without me and dreamed about turning this into something real like I did.
In all the many months we’d messed around in secret, I’d fantasized that I could be the one to fall asleep with his arms around me every night, and be the one to slip my hand inside his boxers when he woke, restless, in the night, to soothe him as only I could. I wanted to share meals and laughs, and watch TV together. I wanted to build a life with him.
Instead, I was getting ready for a date with another man. Bryan McDuff—the guy my friend Courtney had set me up with when I finally relented. I’d said yes mostly to get her off my back, and because I didn’t have an answer for why I wouldn’t go. As far as she knew, I was single. And I was. Which haunted me.
I checked my appearance in the mirror. I was dressed in a pair of jeans, sandals, and a long-sleeved T-shirt. The month of October had brought with it cooler air. I’d blow-dried my hair straight and applied light makeup. I was as ready as I’d ever be.
Bryan and I were meeting at an outside park pavilion for a concert. A local bluegrass band was playing tonight, and I’d heard them once or twice. They were pretty good, but mostly I thought this date would be a better venue than sitting across from a strange guy in a quiet restaurant, trying to make conversation. Listening to music, in my mind, equaled less awkward conversation.
At the last second, I thought about backing out, thought about calling the whole thing off. But then I checked my phone and there was still nothing from Shaw . . . so, off I went.
I recognized Bryan from the picture Courtney had showed me and waved at him from across the park as I made my way across the expense of grass separating us.
“Hey, you made it,” he said, sounding surprised.
“Of course. It’s nice to meet you.” I offered him my hand and he shook it. “Should we find somewhere to sit?” Parking had taken longer than I thought and the park was filling up—blankets and lawn chairs were scattered in the area around us.
“Sure. Back here, I was thinking.”
Bryan turned and led the way off to the side of the small amphitheater. I tossed him one end of the beach blanket I’d been holding under my arm, and he helped me spread it out.
“I brought dessert and wine. Hope it’s okay?” Bryan said, settling in beside me.
“That sounds great.” Ten points for being thoughtful. Ten more for being even cuter in person than I’d imagined. He had a dimple on the left side of his mouth when he smiled—which was often.
He opened a small cooler and pulled out two mini-bottles of chilled white wine.
“Hope you don’t mind drinking out of the bottle,” he added, twisting off the top and handing me one.
“Not at all.” I accepted it and took a small sip. It was crisp and refreshing.
“I also hope you don’t mind that I have no idea if this pairs with the wine, but it looked so good I didn’t care.” He smiled again and set a container holding a thick slice of cake, along with two spoons, down on the blanket. “White chocolate cheesecake.”
“That looks amazing.”
I accepted a spoon and we both dug in. I was thankful that so far, there hadn’t been any uncomfortable silences or fumbling attempts at conversation, either. Things were just flowing.
As we shared the dessert, I filled Bryan in on my parents’ inn and the work Jason and I did there, and he told me about the job he was here training for. We talked a little about Courtney, and a little about living on Marathon Key.
Soon the band began to play and the wine worked its magic, relaxing me from the inside out.