I don’t think I could have explained it if someone held a gun up to my head and demanded one. I’d been careless, reckless, impulsive, thoughtless, and never been so sure of anything when I’d been with Cole.
How did you explain something that felt just as right as it felt wrong?
Others might have been able to, but I couldn’t.
“This explains a whole hell of a lot,” Cole said loudly.
My eyes drifted to my dad. He was cheering for the next guy up to bat, none the wiser.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cole said, his voice sarcastic. “Is that why we’ve been whispering? Why you’ve been all but shielding me with your body? You don’t want your friends and family”—Cole’s hand waved with agitation at the field—“your damn promise ring boyfriend to find out about your dirty little secret?” His face changed then. A small crack in his anger formed and what I saw in that crack broke my heart.
“Cole . . .” I started, not knowing what I was going to say, but just needing to say something.
“Sorry, Elle. I’m out,” he said, refusing to look my way. “I’m not going to be anyone’s dirty little secret.” He turned around, his shoulders tense, and walked away.
I leaped down the side of the bleachers before he’d made it to the parking lot. I knew dad would probably notice this not-so-covert-op, I knew Logan might too, but I didn’t care right now.
Cole turning his back on me and walking away was what finally put me into action. I didn’t check to see if anyone was watching, I just jogged after him.
“Cole!” I shouted, ignoring the way his body tensed even more when he heard me. He didn’t stop.
“Cole, wait!” Knowing stopping wasn’t his plan, I picked up my pace. I got to him just before he rounded his Land Cruiser. “Cole,” I said, grabbing his arm.
I could have just slapped him for the way he flinched away from me. “What do you want, Elle?” he said, glaring at me in a way I’d never been glared at before. It was . . . staggering.
“I’m sorry,” I said, forcing myself to keep staring at him.
“You’re sorry? You are sorry.” Each word came out slowly, but each one was scalding with anger. “I suppose that makes everything all right now, right? Elle says she’s sorry, so now we’re good. Right?”
Shoot. He was really angry. So much so, his body was quivering. I couldn’t recall a time I’d seen someone so angry.
“Cole . . .”
“Just . . .” He glared at me again before a flash of pain swept over him. “Just enough, okay? I’m done with whatever bullshit of a thing we had,” he said, hopping into his Land Cruiser.
I stepped back when the engine roared to life. Cole rolled down the window and took one last look at me before sliding a pair of sunglasses on. If there was a contest for contempt, Cole would have just snagged the first place trophy.
“I guess you really had me fooled, too, Elle Montgomery,” he said, gripping the steering wheel so hard it looked like he was about to rip it off.
I had so much to say. So much to apologize for and try to explain, but that would never happen because before I could get one word out, Cole peeled out of the parking lot like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
I stood there for a few minutes, shedding a few tears for a boy I’d known a week. For a boy I was as wrong for as he was wrong for me.
Cole and I could never be. There was positively no future for us. I knew that, but my heart ached, and some part of me refused to accept that.
Chapter Five
No one had noticed the event in the parking lot that had successfully ripped my guts out. Not one person had witnessed what had surely been one of the most excruciating moments of my life. It strangely reminded me of the saying about if no one’s around to hear a tree fall in the forest, does it make a sound. If no one was around to witness what just went down between Cole and me, could I pretend it hadn’t happened? Could I tell myself I hadn’t just watched his face crumble into a hundred emotions? Could I imagine I’d have more missed calls from Cole Carson to look forward to?
Even I wasn’t that naive.
After staring for a few minutes at the spot Cole’s car had disappeared from my view, I wandered back to the game. My dad assumed I’d been in the bathroom taking care of more girly business he wanted no part of, and Logan didn’t even look my way again until he went up to bat a couple innings later.
I knew this might be a case of the grass being greener on the other side, but right now, I think I would have preferred being caught chasing after some guy than being totally ignored.
It might have been a stretch, but it made me feel very insignificant.
Other than Logan’s mom asking me if I’d given any thought to what colors I’d like for Logan’s and my wedding—I’d choked on the piece of popcorn I’d been munching on and told her I’d have to get back with her later on that . . . much later—no one even spoke to me. Well, other than Dad, although I’m not sure if questions that required a one word reply constituted as conversation.
At the end of the ninth inning, my butt was numb, I was hot and sweaty from baking in the sun, and my mood was all over the place. Wasn’t the best time for Logan to sneak attack me.
“Hey, baby.” Logan’s arms wound around me and he placed a chaste kiss on my cheek as I headed toward my Jeep. “Weren’t you planning on waiting for me?” He sounded a little hurt, and when I turned in his arms, his expression revealed the same. Whatever I was going through, Logan didn’t deserve to be dragged into it. He wasn’t perfect, and lord knows I was having a tough time with his old fashioned ways as of late, but he was a good guy. A really good guy. The kind of guy girls wait years to find, if they ever find that certain someone at all.