I don’t read anymore. I don’t need to.
My mother didn’t die in a car accident. She signed me over to Oliver.
She left me with him. She gave me to him.
Everything starts to fracture around me.
My eyes blur, and my heart starts to hurt in chest.
The letters flutter from my hands, dropping to the desk. I grab the folder, searching it, scrambling to find anything else.
I find one scrap piece of paper at the bottom.
It has my mother’s name on it, and an address for a place called Durango in Colorado.
Grabbing the papers and address, I shove them in my bag.
I need to get out of here. I need to talk to someone.
So I head to the only person I have in this world – Forbes.
***
When I reach his house, I don’t bother knocking as I know it’ll be unlocked. There’s always someone here.
The urge to talk to him about what I’ve discovered has increased on the drive over here. I just need to air this out. Figure it out. He’ll be able to help me do that. Yes, Forbes is an ass**le, but he’s smart. He’s almost a lawyer.
He’ll know what these papers mean.
He’ll know what to do.
As I walk through the foyer, I see the living room is deserted.
If he’s not in, I’ll just wait in his room until he gets home.
I run up the stairs to the first floor. Forbes’ room is at the far end of the hall. I walk quickly, clutching my bag to my side. The papers inside feel as if they’re burning through the leather and onto my skin.
Reaching Forbes’ door, I grab the handle and push down, opening it.
And I’m greeted by the sight of Forbes in bed, having sex with a girl – who isn’t me, obviously.
I can’t really say what I feel in this moment. There’s such a myriad of emotions streaming through me, but I do know the one emotion I feel with absolute certainty is relief. In what context I’m just not sure.
Funny.
Oliver dies, I feel relief.
Forbes cheats, I feel relief.
Not really the natural feeling one should have in these kind of situations.
Does this mean I’m free of Forbes?
The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. Of all the things I could say to him at this moment in time, that is the one thing I want to ask most.
It takes Forbes a moment to see me standing here in his doorway as he’s too busy getting his rocks off. The surprise is evident on his face, but it quickly morphs into the cold, blank expression I’m familiar with.
The girl is facing away from me. All I can see is a mass of brown hair curtaining her face as she is on her hands and knees being screwed from behind by my boyfriend.
She has no clue I’m here, watching, feeling utterly emotionless by the whole thing
And Forbes says nothing. Just holds my eye as he continues to have sex with her.
“Yes, God! Forbes!” she screams out, making me jump. Forbes actually smiles.
“Harder! Fuck me harder!”
She really does seem to be enjoying herself. More than I ever have with him. Maybe that’s why he hits me. Maybe I don’t do sex right. He was my first. Has been my only.
“Yes! Right there!” she continues to scream.
You’d think he’d stop and try some lame attempt of It’s not what you think, Mia.
But he doesn’t say a thing.
Then again, you’d think I’d say something; any normal girl would if she caught her boyfriend cheating on her. She’d probably be the one screaming right now.
But then Forbes and I don’t exactly do normal.
He has all the power, and I’m just dragged along for the ride.
Continuing to have sex with this girl, and keeping his eyes on me, his smile changes to a smirk. Then a fire ignites in his eyes. It’s new. I’ve never seen this look on him before, but then I’ve never seen him having sex with someone else before either.
But there’s something in the way he’s looking at me right now that terrifies me. He looks empowered, like he’s finally got me exactly where he wants me.
Chills creep down my spine like spiders.
“Oh god, I’m coming! I’m coming!” the girl screams, totally unaware of what is transpiring right now between Forbes and I.
Leave Mia, now. Go!
Tearing my gaze from his. I take one step back. Two. And then I’m gone, fleeing down the stairs and out of there.
I toss my bag into the foot-well and I’m back in my car, driving away.
Vision blurred, I wipe my eyes and realize that I’m crying.
Why? I’m not entirely sure.
***
I drive to a convenience store, park my car way in the back, go in and buy as much food as I can carry in my arms. Potato chips, candy, cookies, ice-cream – anything I can lay my hands on.
I get back in my car, open up the food and start eating like I always do. Eating is probably too nice a word for what I’m doing – I’m gorging.
When I’m done, the feeling of my stomach tight and bursting, relief momentarily fills me. Then I look around at the empty wrappers and containers and the sick, dirty, guilt feeling washes over me.
I stuff the wrappers in the bag and look around at the lot. There’s no one around, so I walk toward the trash can and dump the bag in it. Then I skirt quickly to the cluster of trees by the edge of the store and hide myself from view as I brace my hand against one of them. I push my fingers down my throat, emptying my stomach.
I get back in my car, clean my hands on a wipe, and put a breath mint in my mouth.