“Because it hurts to answer.”
I consider her for a moment and nod. “You’re going to have to tell me eventually.”
“Eventually.” She sighs. “That word is so us, isn’t it? Eventually, you’ll tell me you’re faking your amnesia. Eventually, I’ll tell you that I’m pretending not to know you. Eventually, we’ll come back together, fall apart, come back together.”
I watch her study my wall art, riveted by her words. She says things that genuinely move me. She lets her soul slip through her lips, and it’s always raw and incredibly sad.
“Caleb, what is this house?”
I stand behind her as she lurks in the doorway to the master bedroom and tug on the ends of her hair.
“I was building it for you. I was going to bring you here the night I proposed. It was only an empty lot, but I wanted to show you what we could build together.”
She blows air through her nose and shakes her head. It’s the way she fights tears.
“You were going to ask me to marry you?”
I briefly consider telling her about the night she walked in on me at the office, but I don’t want to overload her emotionally.
“Why did you keep building? Furnish it?”
“A project, Duchess,” I say softly. “I needed something to fix.”
She laughs. “You couldn’t fix me — or that dirty redhead. So you went for a house?”
“It’s a lot more rewarding.”
She snorts. I would have preferred a giggle.
She flips on the light switch and walks carefully into the bedroom, like the floor could fall out from beneath her at any minute.
“Have you ever slept here?”
I watch as she runs a finger along the plush, white comforter and sits on the edge of the bed. She bounces a few times and I smile.
“No.”
She lies down on her back and then suddenly rolls twice across the bed until she’s on her feet on the other side. It’s something a little kid would do. As always, when the word kid pops in my head, my stomach clenches painfully.
Estella My heart falls and then rises slightly when she smiles at me.
“It’s kind of girly in here,” she says.
A corner of my mouth shoots up. “Well, I did intend on sharing it with a woman.”
She puckers her lips and nods. “Peacock blue — it’s very fitting.”
There is a vase of peacock feathers on the dresser. The corners of her mouth tilt up as she remembers something from long ago.
I show her the rest of the bedrooms and then take her up the narrow flight of stairs to the attic, which I converted into a library. She exclaims excitedly when she sees the books, and I have to practically drag her up the narrow flight of stairs to the widow’s walk. She has two books in her hands, but when she emerges into the sunshine, she sets them down on one of the lawn chairs, her eyes wide.
“Oh my god,” she says. She throws her arms up in the air and spins around. “It’s so beautiful. I’d be up here all the time if-”
We both turn away at the same time. I walk over to look at the trees; she stays near the lake.
If…
“If you hadn’t lied to me,” she sighs.
Had I really not expected that? She’s queen of the jab. I laugh really hard. I laugh so hard — Cammie slides the back door open and peeks her head out. When she sees us, she shakes her head and retreats back inside. I feel like I’ve just been scolded.
I glance at Olivia. She’s getting her book and settling down in one of the lawn chairs. “I’ll just be up here if you need me, Drake.”
I walk over and kiss the top of her head. “Okay, Duchess. I’ll go make lunch. Don’t let anyone steal you.”
They catch Dobson in Olivia’s building two days later. He was coming for her. I want to kill Noah. What if she hadn’t called me? Dobson avoided the police for almost a decade. Could he have gotten past them and to Olivia? I don’t even want to think about it. When we get the call, I know it’s time for me to take her back, but we linger for an extra day. Even Cammie doesn’t seem eager to leave. On the fourth day, I bring up leaving just as we’re finishing our dinner of grilled salmon and asparagus. Cammie politely excuses herself from the picnic table and goes inside the house. Olivia picks at the lettuce on her plate and works at avoiding my eyes.
“Do you not feel ready?” I ask her.
“It’s not that,” she says. “It’s just been-”
“Nice,” I finish for her. She nods.
“You can come stay at my place for a few days,” I offer.
She glares at me.
“Would I sleep between you and Jessica?”
I smirk. “How do you know I’m still seeing Jessica?”
She sighs. “I keep tabs on you.”
“You stalk me,” I say. When she doesn’t respond, I touch the top of her hand with my finger, tracing a vein.
“It’s okay. I stalk you too.”
“Are things the same with Jessica? Like they used to be in college?”
“Are you asking me if I’m in love with her?”
“Does it sound like I’m asking you that?”
I cover my face with my hands and sigh dramatically. “If you want to ask me personal and extremely uncomfortable questions, go ahead. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But, for the love of God — just ask a direct question.”