“That’s the rumor.” He nodded with a smile, but Cassie didn’t look pleased.
“Plus, if he pushes you away, then you won’t be the one who left him. He’ll be the one who made you leave,” I added a little too helpfully.
Jack glared at me before looking back at Cassie. My insight into his motivations clearly struck a nerve.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere,” Cassie said as she looked into his eyes. “So don’t try to make me.”
Melissa frowned at both of them. “Jesus, I’ve never met two people more scared to let someone love them than the two of you.” Her gaze pinged between them, making her ponytail swing from side to side. “And don’t even try to deny it. You’re both all messed up from your stupid parents.”
She lifted her hand in Cassie’s direction. “Cassie here, with her dad’s constant lies and inability to follow through on even the simplest, most mundane thing, has been disappointed and let down most of her life.”
Then she pointed at my brother. “And you, with your mom up and leaving, telling you it was your fault because you were a bad kid. You’re convinced that no one will ever stick around, that eventually they’ll leave you too. And somewhere in your twisted, screwed-up psyche, you probably think you deserve it.”
And me, I just sat there slack-jawed that Melissa had the guts to bring up something so private in such a public place, and then throw it in my brother’s face. Apparently I wasn’t the only one stunned into silence; no one else said a word.
Thank God this wasn’t my fault. Jack told me that Melissa had dragged our story out of him late one night, and that he had felt okay with her knowing. I wondered if he was regretting that decision right about now.
Melissa took a quick breath and then delivered her final assessment. “You’re both so screwed up alone, that together you’re like the perfect mess.”
I sat there absorbing her words, even though they weren’t meant for me, and wondered how much of what she said might be true.
Will I behave the same as Jack when I give my heart away?
Cassie recovered first, but her feelings were clearly hurt. “That’s an attractive analogy. Thanks for saying I’m screwed up,” she snapped.
Jack reached for Cassie. “I’ll be the perfect mess with you anytime.”
She quickly swiped under her eye and leaned her head against his shoulder. A deep sigh escaped her. “Melissa just doesn’t know anything about having messed-up parents. Hers are perfect. She can’t relate.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault I won the parent lottery.” Melissa eyed Cassie. “Plus, we both know I’m not strong enough to deal with the shit you’ve dealt with. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown by now. I could never handle everything your dad’s put you through.”
Cassie released a small laugh, but it was enough to ease the tension at the table. I was thankful for the reprieve.
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m strong or because I’ve gotten really good at turning off my emotions,” she added in a low voice.
“It’s definitely both,” Melissa said before turning toward my brother again. “And, Jack, I’ve never seen anyone completely shut off the way this one can.” She nodded in Cassie’s direction. “If you push her too far, she’ll flick off like a light switch. It’s scary.”
“Really? That’s impressive,” he teased, and I stayed quiet, taking it all in.
“You won’t feel that way if she does it to you,” Melissa said, her face the scary kind of serious. “Trust me.”
“Well, I hope I never have to see it.”
“If I didn’t compartmentalize, I’d never be able to function,” Cassie said hotly. “It’s the only way I can survive without being a total basket case.”
“I get it, Kitten. Still impressive.”
Jack smiled at her with what looked like love in his eyes, and I found myself desperate to change the subject.
“So, when do you leave for Texas?” I asked Jack, then took a bite of my cheeseburger.
“We fly out Thursday morning. Why?”
“Just wondering,” I mumbled around my bite.
Cassie straightened up and turned to Jack. “What do you do when you’re there? Like, how does it work? Do you practice? Do parents go?”
I laughed at Cassie’s intense curiosity. I’d seen her on more than one occasion ask Jack a million and one questions at a rapid-fire pace when she didn’t understand something.
Jack snagged one of my fries and popped it into his mouth. “Well, we typically fly in the day before our games start. We check in at the hotel. We’ll have practice and work out, and have dinner as a team. Some parents go, but not many.”
“Does everyone get their own room?”
“No.” Jack laughed. “We share rooms.”
“Do you have like bed checks and stuff?”
Melissa leaned forward, clearly interested in this topic of conversation, and I leaned toward her.
Jack nodded before taking a bite of his pizza. Once he’d swallowed, he said, “We do. Usually Coach comes by and makes sure everyone’s in their rooms by ten.”
Cassie breathed out in what looked like relief. “Any other rules?”
“No girls and no drinking.” Jack raised his eyebrows and glanced at me as Cassie shoved against his shoulder, almost pushing him over.