Home > The Hate U Give(23)

The Hate U Give(23)
Author: Angie Thomas

All of them. Two of us.

Momma squeezes my hand. “Breathe.”

I didn’t realize I had grabbed hers.

I take a deep breath and another, and she nods with each one, saying, “That’s it. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

Uncle Carlos comes over, and he and Momma lead me to his desk, where I sit down. I feel eyes on me from all around. The grip tightens around my lungs. Uncle Carlos hands me a sweating bottle of water. Momma puts it up to my lips.

I take slow sips and look around Uncle Carlos’s desk to avoid the curious eyes of the officers. He has almost as many pictures of me and Sekani on display as he has of his own kids.

“I’m taking her home,” Momma tells him. “I’m not putting her through this today. She’s not ready.”

“I understand, but she has to talk to them at some point, Lisa. She’s a vital part of this investigation.”

Momma sighs. “Carlos—”

“I get it,” he says, in a noticeably lower voice. “Believe me, I do. Unfortunately, if we want this investigation done right, she has to talk to them. If not today, then another day.”

Another day of waiting and wondering what’s gonna happen.

I can’t go through that.

“I wanna do it today,” I mumble. “I wanna get it over with.”

They look at me, like they just remembered I’m here.

Uncle Carlos kneels in front of me. “Are you sure, baby girl?”

I nod before I lose my nerve.

“All right,” Momma says. “But I’m going with her.”

“That’s totally fine,” Uncle Carlos says.

“I don’t care if it’s not fine.” She looks at me. “She’s not doing this alone.”

Those words feel as good as any hug I’ve ever gotten.

Uncle Carlos keeps an arm around me and leads us to a small room that has nothing in it but a table and some chairs. An unseen air conditioner hums loudly, blasting freezing air into the room.

“All right,” Uncle Carlos says. “I’ll be outside, okay?”

“Okay,” I say.

He kisses my forehead with his usual two pecks. Momma takes my hand, and her tight squeeze tells me what she doesn’t say out loud—I got your back.

We sit at the table. She’s still holding my hand when the two detectives come in—a young white guy with slick black hair and a Latina with lines around her mouth and a spiky haircut. Both of them wear guns on their waists.

Keep your hands visible.

No sudden moves.

Only speak when spoken to.

“Hi, Starr and Mrs. Carter,” the woman says, holding out her hand. “I’m Detective Gomez, and this is my partner, Detective Wilkes.”

I let go of my mom’s hand to shake the detectives’ hands. “Hello.” My voice is changing already. It always happens around “other” people, whether I’m at Williamson or not. I don’t talk like me or sound like me. I choose every word carefully and make sure I pronounce them well. I can never, ever let anyone think I’m ghetto.

“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Wilkes says.

“Considering the circumstances, I wouldn’t call it nice,” says Momma.

Wilkes’s face and neck get extremely red.

“What he means is we’ve heard so much about you both,” Gomez says. “Carlos always gushes about his wonderful family. We feel like we know you already.”

She’s laying it on extra thick.

“Please, have a seat.” Gomez points to a chair, and she and Wilkes sit across from us. “Just so you know, you’re being recorded, but it’s simply so we can have Starr’s statement on record.”

“Okay,” I say. There it is again, all perky and shit. I’m never perky.

Detective Gomez gives the date and time and the names of the people in the room and reminds us that we’re being recorded. Wilkes scribbles in his notebook. Momma rubs my back. For a moment there’s only the sound of pencil on paper.

“All right then.” Gomez adjusts herself in her chair and smiles, the lines around her mouth deepening. “Don’t be nervous, Starr. You haven’t done anything wrong. We just want to know what happened.”

I know I haven’t done anything wrong, I think, but it comes out as, “Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re sixteen, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How long did you know Khalil?”

“Since I was three. His grandmother used to babysit me.”

“Wow,” she says, all teacher-like, stretching out the word. “That’s a long time. Can you tell us what happened the night of the incident?”

“You mean the night he was killed?”

Shit.

Gomez’s smile dims, the lines around her mouth aren’t as deep, but she says, “The night of the incident, yes. Start where you feel comfortable.”

I look at Momma. She nods.

“My friend Kenya and I went to a house party hosted by a guy named Darius,” I say.

Thump-thump-thump. I drum the table.

Stop. No sudden moves.

I lay my hands flat to keep them visible.

“He has one every spring break,” I say. “Khalil saw me, came over, and said hello.”

“Do you know why he was at the party?” Gomez asks.

Why does anybody go to a party? To party. “I assume it was for recreational purposes,” I say. “He and I talked about things going on in our lives.”

   
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