Six years earlier
The ride back to the Montgomerys’ was surprisingly uneventful. Samantha and Renee had been seated at the back of the van, where Samantha buried her face in a pillow and covered her head with the hood of her jacket. But Tristan had sat catty-corner in the captain’s chair, reading. Which was something she’d never seen him do before.
Was this new for him, could it be some secret tactic to make her fall for him a little more, or had she simply never paid enough attention to notice? But she was paying attention now—so much so, she couldn’t seem to look away. She watched him out of corner of her eye, each expression as he got lost in his story—and when he smiled, that wicked grin that made her heart skip a beat, she almost rolled out of her seat.
Last night’s kiss had haunted her so much she’d barely slept—because she kept wondering if he’d been affected the same way. If he had any inclination about how many times she wished she would have followed him down to his bedroom. But mostly, she thought about Renee. About what she would say when she told her the truth.
As the hours passed by, Samantha began planning out each word she would use to explain what happened. The exact punctuation, down to the tone she would use as she told Renee about her first kiss. But when they pulled into the driveway of the two-story craftsman, she realized five hours wasn’t nearly long enough time to prepare. She’d been practicing nearly every minute, yet nothing had come to her that was good enough. Nothing could justify the fact that she’d kissed her best friend’s brother, really kissed him without holding back. The boy they’d hated together for as long as she could remember. The one thing that bound their friendship from the very start.
“Well, we made it!” Mr. Montgomery said, throwing the van in park. He looked to back seat, where he shoved Tristan’s knee to make sure he was awake. “If we can get this ship unloaded in thirty minutes, I’ll buy everyone pizza.”
Tristan, who ate more than anyone she’d ever met, immediately grinned, then popped open the sliding door and climbed out of the van.
They’d driven straight from Big Bear to Los Angeles without stopping, and Samantha’s legs were stiff and sore when she finally joined him. Tristan was already untying the straps on the roof when she stepped down to the driveway. He never once looked her way. Why that bothered her was baffling, especially considering she had told him to keep it a secret just that morning. But it still left her feeling forgotten.
Would she ever be comfortable here again? At the Montgomerys’ home? Around the people who’d been like a second family since second grade? Renee came to stand by her side, a purple blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and leaned close to her ear. “Don’t look now,” she whispered, “but lover boy is waiting at the front steps.”
Samantha whipped around, her heart jumping to her chest. Steven Mathers sat on the front stoop, his glossy brown hair neatly combed, looking like he’d just come back from Sunday school. She looked over to Tristan, who was untying the luggage with urgency.
“I thought you’d never get home,” Steven shouted from the steps. He stood up, walked slowly toward the van, and stopped directly at her side. He grinned, then leaned over to whisper in her ear. “I missed you,” he said, in that way that was comfortable and familiar. Like he thought she missed him too.
She didn’t.
In all actuality, it was the complete opposite. “Hey,” she whispered back. “I gotta go help unload the van. You want to wait inside?”
Steven nodded, but paused for a few moments before picking up a couple of sleeping bags and following Mrs. Montgomery into the house.
As soon as he was out of view, she turned toward the van again. She should’ve been relieved, but she still needed to talk to Renee, and she couldn’t do that with Steven around.
Renee opened the back of the van, and Samantha immediately began helping with the luggage. She pulled a brown suitcase from the top of the stack, just as Renee elbowed her in the ribs.
“He’s like a puppy,” Renee whispered in her ear. “A perfectly groomed puppy wearing too much cologne. Can’t he leave you alone for one stupid weekend?”
Samantha closed her eyes, then yanked another bag from the pile and set it on the pavement. Normally she would defend Steven, but right now she agreed. He was like a puppy, a sad, loyal puppy, and she couldn’t wait to get rid of him.
Renee took her small duffle from the back of the van, immediately gripping the door to steady herself. She looked over to Samantha and cringed. “Sorry, Sam, but I think I need to go sit down.”
Samantha patted her on the back. “Go, I don’t want you passing out on me.”
Renee headed for the house, leaving her and Tristan to unpack the rest of the luggage alone. Samantha didn’t mind though, because it gave her time to think about how to get rid of Steven. He really was a good guy, and she knew that someday he’d make a girl very happy. She just wasn’t that girl. Tristan was right about that. She couldn’t sacrifice her own happiness to supply someone else’s.
She turned around to place another suitcase on the growing pile, just as a red car, filled with half a dozen former seniors pulled along the sidewalk of the house. Girls and guys, laughing and horsing around as they piled out of the car.
“T-Man!” one of them shouted to Tristan. “It’s about time you got home! Where’s the party?”
Tristan turned to lean against the van and lifted his chin. “What’s up, Beef?”
They bumped shoulders, did some sort of hand shake thing as two girls wearing much too little clothing came to latch themselves to Tristan’s sides.
She closed her eyes and turned away. She recognized them. Barely. They were cheerleaders from West Valley high. People she barely knew, and she liked it that way. But a sinking feeling grew in the bottom of her stomach, bubbling up until it began climbing her bitter throat.
Is this jealousy? Whatever it was, it was a feeling she’d never felt before, and one she was sure she shouldn’t be feeling right now. This was Tristan, she reminded herself. He wasn’t just a guy she got to know at the lake, but the lead quarterback of his varsity football team. The guy who had a friend named Beef, and who had more attention from women than she wanted to know about.
The realization left her questioning everything. Could she like a boy who had more friends than he knew what to do with? A guy who was never alone, not even for ten minutes?
She continued pulling sleeping bags and pillows from the back of the van, anxious to be done with the task so she could go inside, but it was difficult when the other side of her was hanging on every word they said.
The Tristan she’d met alone in the woods wasn’t like this. He was honest and open, and so much deeper than the guy leaning against the van. She didn’t know if she could take it. If she could stand by and watch girls wrap themselves in his arms. Because right now she felt insecure and vulnerable, and that wasn’t a feeling she liked very much. She was a girl who prided herself on being reasonable, on being mature. But one kiss from Tristan Montgomery had her insides screaming “bitch” when a tall brunette stretched up on tiptoe to whisper in Tristan’s ear.
“It’s my birthday,” she said rather loudly. “My parents bought a keg. Come over later?”
Tristan only laughed, but he did something interesting. He looked over at Samantha, their eyes locking for brief time and he shook his head. “I don’t know, I’m pretty beat.”
If she hadn’t been looking for it, she would have missed it, but it was long enough for her heart to soar. For the message to be clear. He wasn’t interested in keg girl. Whatever happened in the woods had meant as much to him as it had to her.
She took the last piece of luggage from the van feeling comforted, but very much needing to get away.
Mr. Montgomery was her saving grace. He came to stand by the van, and pulled down the back to slam it shut. He rested his hand on Samantha’s head and ruffled her hair. “I got this kiddo. Why don’t you run inside and find Renee?”
She only nodded, still too shaken by the shared glance to trust her voice. Without looking back, she turned toward the house and walked up to the steps, leaving Tristan and his party crowd reluctantly alone.