"I'm going to die. And then I'll burn in hell," Beth wailed.
Well, at least she was talking again.
I cleared my throat and shook away the past regrets, burying them deep into the part of my brain where boxes sat with cobwebs. "Wait, why are you dying?"
The shower must have muffled my question because Crazy Pants just kept talking.
"No, scratch that. First they'll put She loved her cats very much, cradle-robbing hussy."
I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me, and stepped out.
"Still not following." I cringed when she almost slipped on a puddle on the floor of my own making. Whoops.
"Just…" Beth took a few deep breaths, pressing her fingers to her temples. "Help me turn on the shower, and you can leave."
"Not a fan of personal hygiene? Don't know how to turn on a shower? The hot water is this way." I pointed to the right. "Cold this way." I pointed to the left. "Easy as pie."
Beth's stomach grumbled. Her face flushed with red.
"Ah, so the lady doesn't just like cookies, but pie as well?"
"The shower's too fancy," Beth grumbled, changing the subject "Just help me so this nightmare can be over with, and I can go home and drink wine until I die."
"Death by alcoholism. Classy. You'd make a great politician."
Beth's eyes narrowed. "Just the shower, not career advice. I'm perfectly happy curing cancer, thank you."
"How's that working out for you?" I leaned against the doorframe, enjoying this little exchange a little more than I should.
"Wh-what?" Her eyes darted between my bare chest and my mouth.
"Curing cancer."
"I, uh—"
"Wow, I can tell humanity is in good hands. Can't turn on a shower at a fancy hotel and answers uh to my questions."
"Never mind." She sighed irritatingly. "Move out of the way. I'll turn it on myself."
"There's a skill I'd like to see." I chuckled as I watched her step into the shower.
"What?"
"Turning yourself on," I teased.
"Were you this much of a jackass last night, or were my beer goggles just that broken?"
"Beer goggles," I stepped into the shower with her and placed my hand on hers, "give the impression that without alcohol you wouldn't have slept with me."
"So." She breathed, her hand shaking underneath mine.
"So," I slowly turned to the right, stepping out of the way, "alcohol had nothing to do with it."
The hot water poured out of the shower and directly onto Beth and her very white sheet. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at her horrified face as the sheet plastered against her naked body.
"Out!" she shouted hysterically.
"Leaving." I held up my hands, still laughing as I exited the shower.
I could have sworn I heard her talking to herself as I grabbed last night's clothes and started dressing. Maybe it was good to get it out of my system.
The whole getting drunk and sleeping with a bridesmaid at my good friend's wedding?
Yeah, I'd never done that before, but maybe I got extra points because I actually knew the bridesmaid before jumping into bed with her? Yes? No?
In my limited experience, one-night stands usually meant awkward mornings where reality set in and you realize you aren't ready for a relationship. This usually involves the guy trying to get out of bed without waking the beast; the beast, upon hearing her mate moving, jolts to attention and latches on without a second thought to the male's inability to feel anything but the sharp talons of the female burying into his skin.
There are almost always tears, followed by yelling; and if the guy is lucky, the girl vacates the premises, screaming obscenities into the air. If the guy lacks any sort of good luck, he usually ended up with a bag of peas pressed firmly against his best friend.
His other best friend.
I let out a chuckle.
Yeah, so that one-night stand? Freaking perfect.
Though I could have sworn Beth was still talking to herself from the bathroom — at least she wasn't screaming or clawing my eyes out. Then again… I winced as I moved my shoulder back and forth, causing a crack to reverberate throughout my body. What the hell had happened last night? Everything was so fuzzy. The only thing I remembered was drinking and then Beth eating cookies. I only remember the cookies because she was so damn beautiful when she was eating them. I sound insane, but it was true. She hadn't mauled them; she'd taken her time with each one. And each time she'd bitten into the cookie, I could have sworn I'd felt that bite all the way down to my toes.
There was always that special something about her, besides her obvious good looks, shiny dark hair, and damn cat eyes. I was drawn to her. I'd been drawn to her since I was seventeen. Shit, I felt like I was seventeen again. My body sure as hell responded like it.
Our brief encounter at prom shouldn't have been brief, which again gave me a clue as to why a one-night stand with her was a bad idea. Our last meeting? Had not ended well. Clearly, the feeling hadn't been mutual. I'd been like a moon-eyed starstruck teenager, and she'd been less than impressed that night. It was good I'd never made it. Seeing her again brought back the old feelings. Damn it! They were supposed to stay locked away. I was twenty-eight now. I was an adult. I was a senator, for shit's sake. I pinched the bridge of my nose. The problem? The details of our hot night together? More than fuzzy.