Beth's eyes narrowed into tiny slits. "Tell you what, I'll kick you in the balls for free. As for the rest of it, go screw yourself."
"Ha," I said dryly. "Chemist's got some personality after all." I was being an ass. I knew I was being an ass, but I was pissed. I'd specifically asked her if she had a past. I'd specifically asked about any sort of drama in her past and she hadn't even thought to tell me she worked for GreenCom? Technically, it had been my fault. I hadn't looked at her work history, just her title. And honestly it didn't matter that much. I was more upset over the fact that I could smell her damn perfume, and it was choking the bachelor out of me.
"You're an ass," she hissed, pushing past me and walking down the aisle. By then, people had basically vacated the plan.
With a curse, I got up and walked slowly down the aisle.
I'd been drugged by an eighty-six-year-old woman.
Couldn't remember my one-night stand.
Had been accused of sleeping with a prostitute.
On a last-minute vacation where I felt slightly manipulated and possibly kidnapped.
And my approval ratings were going to hell.
Things couldn't get worse.
I finally reached the gate where Travis, Kacey, Char, Jake, and Beth were waiting.
Clearly something was wrong because they were frantically dialing their phones, and Kacey looked like she was ready to cry.
"What?" I asked stupidly. "Did someone die?"
All eyes turned to me.
"We can't find Grandma." Beth's voice was strained. "She said she had to use the powder room and just disappeared."
"I'm sure she's fine," I soothed. "After all, this is Grandma Nadine we're talking about. I'd feel sorry for her attacker. Hell, I'd probably watch the entire episode and order popcorn."
The group seemed to relax a bit.
That is, until we heard honking.
And then a splash of leopard flew by me at top speed.
"I think I found her." I pointed.
Grandma parked the airport cart, giving herself whiplash in the process, and stepped out. "Sorry, dears, it took me the longest time to find one of these things."
I winced. "Grandma, I think it's illegal for you to drive that without assistance from the airport staff."
My body gave an involuntary shudder as Grandma's pointed stare met mine. "I am the law."
Ho-o-oly shit. What had I gotten myself into?
"Get in." Grandma put the cart in reverse, nearly killing two elderly people in the process, then pulled out her lipstick and began applying in the rearview mirror.
Great, so she used mirrors for lipstick application and not driving. We were in such good hands.
The last thing I wanted to do was go to dinner. Sleep. That's what I wanted. Sleep. And to hear from Rick that everything was fine.
I picked up my bag and made my way to the cart, eying Beth as she leaned on Char. Was she crying? Had I done that? Feeling like a jackass, I moved toward her, only to be stopped by Jake and Travis, both of them looking like they'd rather shoot me in the face than let me even near their family.
"Listen, punk," Jake started.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. Punk? Really? That's what he was going to go with? And then he punched me in the stomach. I doubled over, not a proud moment. Travis pulled me by the shirt and leaned me against the wall so it looked like I hadn't just gotten the wind forced out of me.
"Listening." I glared.
"We will end you." Travis smiled, as if he was excited about the idea of killing a state senator and going to federal prison. "Leave her alone."
"Her?" I repeated. "You mean Grandma?"
"Grandma?" Jake snorted. "That woman could run circles around you in her sleep. Hell, I don't even feel sorry for you. We're talking about Beth."
"Hey," I held up my hands, "I didn't do anything wrong."
"You slept with her."
"I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "I can't exactly… remember the details."
Travis nudged Jake. "Performance anxiety?"
"Hell no," I growled. "I think I was too drunk or—"
Wrong thing to say.
I got punched in the stomach again.
My stomach had dropped to my balls — well, at least I wasn't hungry anymore!
Travis swore. "Don't play games with her. Leave her alone. Let her have a relaxing time in Hawaii and be nice."
"I'm nice," I defended myself.
"You're a… politician." Jake made mock quotes. "That basically means it's your job to be nice and make everyone feel confident in your abilities, but I see through the bullshit. I saw through it when you were after Char, and I see through it now. Leave. Her. Alone."
"Or what?" I sneered. Okay, so I wasn't actually going to do anything, but I was pissed they were threatening me.
"Oh that's easy." Travis stepped away, smirking at Jake as if they had this giant-ass secret I wasn't a part of. "You don't leave her alone, and we let you fend for yourself with that one." He pointed back to the cart where Grandma was currently thrusting her phone into the air and yelling.
"I have no service! Damn third-world country!"
I'd last five minutes alone with that woman before committing a federal crime. "Fine, but for your information, I was going to leave her alone anyway."