Fascinated, Kacey watched as Grandma knocked on Mr. Casbon’s door. It swung open wide and she was pulled in.
The drapes were closed. Thank God for small favors.
Kacey entered the house more in a daze than anything. Grandma wasn’t sick. She knew Kacey and Jake weren’t engaged, and she was encouraging Kacey to do what? Find herself? Why did she have to come to the one place packed with all her childhood memories to do so?
The one house, the one family who was almost closer to her than her own.
When she and Jake had broken up, it was as if her world had shifted. She went from spending every holiday at his house to making excuses about work obligations. All because of one stupid night. One careless night where she’d imagined she could be more to him than just his friend.
Oh, she’d been his girlfriend for a year before they had ever done anything, but it was more of an agreement. It had been a way for him to protect her from creepy guys, from the senior year of high school into their first year of college.
It had never meant anything.
They hadn’t ever acted on anything.
She swallowed back more tears, remembering the smell of the dorm room when they’d gotten back from the party that night.
Jake had been laughing about some guy who had fallen into the pool, and Kacey had been drinking water like there was no tomorrow. They’d never gone to parties without one another and had always made sure to hydrate and stay out of trouble. They’d gone for social reasons, that was it.
But when Jake had dropped her off that night at her apartment, he’d asked if he could crash on the couch. He’d stayed, and after a while they’d started kissing.
She wasn’t even sure what had started the kissing. Had she leaned in first? Had he? Did it matter now? Then the clothes had come off and all she could remember was thinking that she was finally going to be with the man she loved. The man who’d stood by her side her whole life.
In her innocent mind she’d thought giving herself to him meant… forever.
In his mind, it had meant… a moment.
One crappy non-mind-blowing moment that ended with tears of frustration.
It had been awkward to say the least. Jake had sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands repeating over and over again. “Oh God, what did we do, what did we just do?”
And she’d sat there, vulnerable, no longer a virgin, and had fought to keep the tears from pouring down her face. If it would have been any other guy, she would have kicked him out and called Jake to come take care of her.
But who do you call when you screw your best friend? When the one person who understands you is the one who can’t even look at you?
“I have to go,” he had said, not bothering to say goodbye, ask if she was okay, or anything. The door slamming had felt like a hammer hitting her body.
She had sat in the silence, trying to even her breathing. Not really understanding why the experience hadn’t been as magical as she had heard it would be, and not knowing if she should tell someone or just lie there.
Her parents had been away on vacation, but little did she know that if she’d have called them, they wouldn’t have answered anyway. It had been the same night they’d died in a car accident on the way back from the airport.
A week later, Jake had mumbled an apology, then said he was going to be really busy with classes for a while.
He’d begun calling only once a week, then once a month, until finally she’d only received cards from him and his family on the holidays.
The pain washed over her anew. She hadn’t realized until now that she’d lost every loved one she had ever had in her life that fateful night.
Her parents, Jake, Grandma Nadine, and his family. Everyone, taken from her in an instant. And she suddenly wondered how she had made it so far without having a nervous breakdown.
With a shuddering breath she ran up the stairs. There would be time for self-pity and reflection later, but now, now she needed to get ready to hang on Jake’s arm, even though it was the last place she wanted to be.
Chapter Sixteen
Travis kept telling himself it wasn’t creepy or weird or even slightly strange that he was tailing Kacey and Jake to the brunch.
He had it all worked out. He’d hang out in the background, mingle, have a mimosa, and once he saw that Jake wasn’t making a complete ass of out himself and actually paying attention to Kacey, he’d leave.
Despite the hurtful things said between them, he still felt this raw possession for her. It was intense and strange, but he couldn’t fight it any more than he could tell his body to stop breathing. He needed to know she was going to survive the brunch. Even he wasn’t deluded enough to think people change that much after high school.
They boasted about their maturity, yet still gossiped on Facebook.
They said they’re above the drama, yet held grudges against one another when one became more successful. In fact, adulthood was almost worse than high school because for some reason it was suddenly okay to be manipulative. “Oh I’m so concerned about so and so. Did you hear what happened?”
How was that not gossip?
Or when his mother’s friends came over and asked about Jake because some of their daughters were still single. He’d never mentioned to Kacey what people said behind her back once she and Jake were no longer talking as much.
It was awful, to say the least.
Rumors ran rampant through their little social circle that Kacey had cheated on Jake, gotten pregnant by some other guy, and the worst of it was that he had downright rejected her and she was institutionalized.