“Why not?” he finally asked as we took our seats beside each other on the subway.
I tilted my head. “Why not what?”
“Why don’t you date?”
His voice was gentle, and where I’d assumed there would be hints of judgment, there was only curiosity.
“Do I need an excuse?” I laughed.
He chuckled. “You make it sound like it’s worse than pulling teeth.”
For me, it was.
“The last time I went on a good date, I was in the seventh grade and Hunter Buchanan invited me over to play Mario Kart with him for three hours.”
Julian started to crack up. “You’re kidding me.”
I shrugged. “I wish.”
“Are you a virgin?” he asked. Just like that. Point blank.
I gaped so wide my jaw practically came unhinged. Jesus. Good thing the subway car was fairly empty.
“No!” I said, glaring over at him. “I’m not a freaking virgin. How lame do you think I am?”
He held up his hands in defense.
“What? You made it seem like that was the case. I thought I was going to have to do you a favor.”
My cheeks were on fire. I knew I was blushing so hard that the astronauts on the space station would be able to detect it.
“By deflowering me?! Oh my god, Julian, you’re verging on asshole territory right now.”
“No! No,” he said, reaching for my arm so that I couldn’t move away from him. “That’s not what I meant.”
He tried to catch my eye, but I held my gaze steady at the top of the subway car. There was an ad about an apartment finder service stretched across the edge of the ceiling; I focused on it like my life depended on it. I knew he was kidding, but the whole conversation was beyond embarrassing. My self-confidence was lying in a pool on the ground, and my ego was mixed in there with it. I didn’t need Julian to make it any worse.
“Jo—”
I shook my head. This conversation needed to end. Now.
“You know what? None of this even matters anyway because I have a date.” I forced myself to look at him as I continued, “Tomorrow night in fact.”
His grip loosened on my arm until he let it slide completely away.
“Really?”
His brows were drawn together, but I did nothing to relieve his confusion.
“Really.” I nodded as an elaborate lie started to play out in my mind. “A friend of Dean’s asked me to get drinks during the restaurant opening and I told him I’d think about it.”
Hmm, that seems fairly logical. Even if I’d been with Julian most of last night, that didn’t mean I hadn’t had a few moments to myself, a few minutes for someone to hypothetically hit on me.
“And you’re going to go?” he asked with a sharp tone.
I nodded, smug and annoyed by his line of questioning. “Yup. I think it’s time to finally push myself out of my comfort zone, make some other friends in New York besides you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Josephine
Did I have a date the following night? Sure.
Was it with a real person? Technically, no. (Unless ghosts of relationships past count.)
Would I be dressing to the nines, going to a bar, and sitting alone? Yes.
Why? Because stupid Julian with his stupid good looks could suck it.
In truth, I hadn’t thought much about my love life in the recent years. When you go to an all-girls high school and then enroll in a fashion program for college, your odds of running into cute, eligible, interested men are just about zero. I’d dated off and on in Texas, but there’d been nothing serious and no one worth remembering.
I’d secretly hoped that moving to New York would change that, but it’s not like I’d had much time to spread my wings (or my legs). So far I’d spent nearly all of my time working with Julian, hanging out with Julian, or texting Julian, which is why I was taking a night off from him, or at least a few hours.
I’d looked up good bars around my apartment. I knew that I could sign up for a dating site or download one of those “hookup” apps, but I wanted to do it the old school way. Surely there was still hope for people like me.
I’d decided to go to an intimate cocktail bar near my tenth-floor walkup. (Yet another reason I didn’t need to exercise. Ten sets of stairs is the work of the devil.) It was called The Merchant and it catered to a young professional crowd. At 5:45 PM, it was already packed and I had to slither past groups of friends to find the bar toward the back.
My skin crawled with nerves as I made my way through the crowd. It seemed like everyone else was sitting with at least one other person, but I was hoping I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb if I sat at the bar by myself. The music was loud and the conversations were flowing around me. I kept waiting for someone to notice me, but no one even batted an eyelash as I pulled back one of the bar stools and reached for the drink menu. In some ways it felt like New York was a city for the lonely.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asked with a heavy New York tongue. His blond hair was buzzed short and he had a five o’clock shadow that was working wonders for his otherwise baby face. I smiled and then motioned to the drink menu.
“Could I have just one more second?”
He nodded. “Take your time.”
There were all sorts of fancy cocktails with ingredients I couldn’t pronounce, but I didn’t have much to spend, not if I wanted to stay within the strict budget I’d set for myself.