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Sustain(11)
Author: Tijan

“It wasn’t.”

“It was.” I knew it. It made sense now. At the thought of it, my anger started to rise again. “What kind of friend are you? Giving drugs to your best friend? To your girlfriend’s cousin?”

“I didn’t sell him drugs!” He pushed me back before I realized I had crowded him.

I blinked at his hands that had forced me away from him. Then a laugh gurgled up from the bottom of my throat, and I bent over and clutched my stomach, unable to stop laughing. This was what we did. We fought, and then we screwed. We never had a real relationship. Who was I fooling? I had no reason to feel guilty for breaking up with him. It was time to move on. It was time I became better.

“Stop it.” He had grown quiet again. His head hung as he shoved his hands into his pockets, and his shoulders hunched forward. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, whether you believe me or not.”

“You and me.” I shook my head, everything growing hard inside me again. “We are not good together.”

He let out a deep breath.

“You know it, and I know it.”

“Yeah.” His eyes were haunted once more. He looked away, straightening from the wall. “I have to go. Take care…Bri.”

He moved around me, but I grabbed his arm and wheeled him back around. “What’s going on? What are you doing?”

A different Elijah looked down at me. The passion wasn’t there. The cold anger wasn’t either. Instead, he looked at me with politeness. I let go of him as if his arm had burned me. I backed away, but asked, “What’s going on?”

“‘What’s going on?’” He flashed me a smile, though his eyes were dead. “This is when we break up. There are no ties anymore. You don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to screw the guy you love now. We’re done.”

“Eli, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Like what?” With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he added, “Like sell drugs for money?” He started walking backwards, moving away from me, and he touched two of his fingers to his head in a salute. His lips twitched, mocking me. “Not your problem anymore, Bri. See you around.”

A scream built inside me, twisting its way up from the bottom of my feet and gaining speed with so many damned emotions attached to it. It wanted to rip from me, to let loose all the frustration, all the sadness, pain, bitterness, everything with it. I didn’t let it out, though. I swallowed it and shoved it right back down, and then, smoothing a hand over my pants, I went back inside.

I’d deal later.

Braden was waiting for me, leaning against the wall just inside the back door with his arms folded over his chest. When I came back into the bar, he straightened, and his arms dropped back to his sides. “You okay?”

“Uh.” Not really. It felt as if an invisible hand had punched a hole in my chest and then wrapped around my heart. “I’ll deal.” Luke was on stage, warming up with Emerson. The two grinned at each other, and, man, that hand squeezed around my heart almost painfully. Then my cousin saw me and sobered instantly. He glared at me.

Luke followed Emerson’s look to me. Our eyes caught and held.

“Bri?”

“What?” Braden had been waving at me. “Sorry. What?”

The corners of his mouth dipped down, and he saw Luke, too. “I don’t know, Bri. I don’t know. You just broke up with Elijah.”

That hand just kept squeezing. “Don’t worry. It’s not going there.”

“Right.”

He didn’t believe me, but I didn’t care.

“Subject change, please.” I nodded at Emerson. “Am I right to assume I won’t be playing tonight then?”

He sighed. “I guess. Will you stick around? I meant what I said. I want you back in the band. Stay. Hang out with us. Luke wants you in. I can tell. He just needs some hint from you, you know.”

“Yeah.” I didn’t even know what I wanted, though. There was a reason I’d been avoiding him for the last three years. Braden patted the empty stool at the end of the bar, and I slid on it and rested my hands on the counter. “Barkeep. That’s her name, right?”

He patted my shoulder. “I wouldn’t use that term.”

Kelly came over, shaking her head. With a half-grin, she poured a beer for me and slid it over the bar. “Here you go, and just so we’re all clear, your sister can call me that, but you, buddy, you better only be using that term as a safe word.”

I liked her.

Braden cocked his head to the side. “Safe word? I didn’t know that was a possibility.”

She chuckled, wiping her hands on a towel before resting a hand on the counter. She gestured to the stage. “I’m not saying it is. Aren’t you needed up there?”

He winked at me, but beamed at her. “It’s more fun here.”

“Get up there, Rock Star. You need to work all these single females into a thirsty frenzy. Sales go up the second you and that heartthrob singer of yours start crooning those notes.”

I really liked her. Catching the adoration and a hint of something more in the depths of my brother’s eyes, I shoved him away. “Hurry. Get up there and keep bringing in the cash, Brother.”

Tap, tap.

Luke leaned closer into the mic. “We need our drummer.” He was watching us. “Any day, Braden.”

A crowd had already congregated in front of the stage, and they all turned. A few waved their hands in the air. “Come on, Braden!”

   
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