I looked around. Everything surrounding me was filled with light. The glow from the strip shined in the distance, the water sparkled, and the twinkle lights adorning the balcony danced. It felt magical, like another world. I looked up at Carson and he was studying me. "What are you thinking?" he asked taking my hand across the table.
I looked into his eyes, deciding that just for tonight, I was going to experience everything I could and enjoy every minute of it. Life is wild, Carson was right. Or it could be, if you let it. I was going to let it. I was going to clear my mind and soak in the beauty of everything around me–the location, the food, the man sitting across from me. I was going to live for all the years I had rejected relationships that might have come naturally if I hadn't been overly focused on other things, and for all the years I had made choices that I thought would make other people happy, never considering what would make me happy. Carson had infected me, it was true, but maybe his looks weren't the only part of his poison. Maybe it was his spirit too. And maybe when it came to Carson, just like a vaccine, a little poison was the cure, not the disease.
There would be consequences to this weekend, I knew that now and I wasn't lying to myself anymore. But maybe they wouldn't all be negative. Maybe I would walk away a better person because of my encounter with this man. Yes, it sure was, life was wild.
"What I was thinking, Carson, is that I feel lucky to be here with you tonight."
His eyes warmed and a small smile turned his full lips up right before something that looked like surprise skated over his features.
I raised the glass of wine that we had ordered and that the waiter had just placed on our table. "To life being wild," I smiled.
He raised his glass. "To well-made plans," he smiled back.
**********
Carson
I watched Grace across the table, her eyes shining as she looked around at all the sights. I loved it. I wanted to show her more. I wanted to give her all the experiences I could. I wanted to watch her big, blue eyes widen in delight, not just at the things I could do to her body, but with all the experiences she had deprived herself of for so long. I wanted to show her things she'd never seen before. I wanted to take her snowboarding on a mountain at twilight, I wanted to make love to her in the bright sunshine on a beach somewhere exotic. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had something to offer other than my body. But the wanting felt like a double edged sword–it made me feel alive in a way I'd never felt alive before, but it filled me with regret to know that I could never have any of it with this girl.
But maybe the wanting of it in and of itself was a good thing. Maybe Grace had opened my eyes to the possibility that I could be more, that life could be more. Something about that filled me with a feeling I couldn't identify in that moment–something I'd think about later.
We ordered dinner and Grace smiled across the table at me.
"So, Carson," she said, "should I trust you to take me hiking out in the desert, all alone? I'm not going to 'mysteriously' disappear tomorrow morning, am I?" She raised an eyebrow.
I chuckled. "Not because I'm planning on burying you in a shallow grave, but there is a real risk of me pouncing on you like a desert hyena because you're irresistible." I looked at her very seriously, not cracking a smile.
She burst out laughing. "I guess the authorities could trace me by following the trail of torn and discarded clothes?"
I took a drink of wine. I never drank wine. But tonight seemed to call for it. "And the scream of my name echoing through the canyons," I said, my eyes drooping slightly against my own will, and my c**k throbbing in my pants at the memory. God I loved to hear Grace scream my name. Nothing like it.
She cleared her throat. "Speaking of which, should we stay in my room tonight? It hasn't even been used."
"No, I decided I like having you in my room."
She tilted her head, taking a sip of her own wine. "Why?"
"I don't know. Something about having you in my lair." I winked.
She rolled her eyes. "More like your sex den, desert hyena."
I laughed. "I like that even better."
Our food came–I had ordered the Ribeye and Grace had ordered the Salmon. We ate quietly for a few minutes. "Mmmm, this is fantastic," Grace moaned.
"Do you go out to eat a lot?" I asked.
"No, rarely. I have a scholarship that pays my expenses too, but there's not a lot left over at the end of the month." She shrugged. "I don't have a lot of time to do anything except study anyway. It'll pay off." She took a drink of her wine, looking over the rim at me.
"I'm sure it will," I said. "What's your law focus anyway?" I cut a piece of meat and speared it and stuck it in my mouth.
"Corporate law."
I looked at her for a minute. "God, that sounds about as exciting as the patented burp of the Tupperware container."
She covered her mouth as she laughed out loud. "It's actually very interesting."
"Oh yeah? What's interesting about it?"
She looked up, thinking for a minute. Then she looked straight at me and laughed as she shook her head. "Nothing. There's nothing interesting about it at all."
"Then why did you choose it?"
She sighed. "My dad works in the criminal justice system. He sees all the stuff that goes down everyday with prosecutors and defense attorneys… all the b.s. they have to deal with, all the awful stories they hear. I asked for his advice and he thought corporate law would be a good, safe, solid career choice." She nodded, as if convincing herself.