“Excuse me? You guys are doing what?” I sit up farther, balling my hands into fists in my lap.
“We need to go release the bear out of town. The boys are gonna ride along.
“I don—”
“It’s safe, Shel,” he says quietly, cutting me off. I chew on the inside of my cheek in response. I wanted Hunter to have a different life than he had in the city, but having a bear break into your house then releasing said bear into the wild seems a little extreme. Especially when I was thinking more along the lines of him being able to fish and grow up enjoying the outdoors, instead of sitting in front of the TV or a computer all day. “The bear’s not Louie, and since he got into your house once, I don’t want him to think he has free rein to do it again.”
“Who was it then?” I frown.
“Don’t know his name.” He smiles, and I try to tell myself he’s not funny, but I still grin anyway.
Letting out a long breath, I ask the question I don’t want to know the answer to, “How bad is the house?”
“Not bad, considering there was a bear in it. There’s a few things broken, and most your food is gone but nothing major.”
“I’ll help you clean up,” Aubrey chimes in, and that feeling in my chest expands even more.
“That would be really sweet,” I say, moving my eyes to her.
“I’m just gonna go get dressed.” She hops up then stops to give her dad a side hug before disappearing.
“Are you sure it’s safe for the boys to go with you?”
“I wouldn’t let them go if it wasn’t safe, baby,” he assures gently, and I nod. I look out the front window, where Steven and Hunter are standing huddled together. “How’s Hunter doing?” His gently spoken question is one I’m not exactly sure the answer to.
After he left yesterday, I sat down with Hunter and spoke to him about the adoption, and a little about Zach and me, but I let him lead the conversation and ask the questions he wanted answers to. Now, I’m not so sure I did the right thing. I wanted so badly to tell him about the couple who adopted Samuel. About how the dad had the kindest eyes of anyone I’d ever met, and how the wife spoke softly and was always smiling. I wanted to tell him that they had been waiting for a baby for eight years and previously had an adoption fall through at the last minute, which almost destroyed them. To explain to him that giving up Samuel was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but also the most fulfilling, because I gave two wonderful people the chance to be parents. Something they were unable to do on their own.
There was a time I didn’t see all the beauty in the situation that I do now. A time when I blamed Zach, when I shouldn’t have, because we both made the decision together, which is something I feel horrible about now. I know the adoption wasn’t easy for him either. I still remember finding him crying silently, and me walking away, too caught up in my own grief to even attempt to comfort him. It wasn’t fair of me to put the weight of my pain on him, but I still did exactly that.
“Shel.”
My name being called brings me out of my thoughts, and I move my gaze back to him, shaking my head. “He seems okay,” I shrug.
“Maybe he needed you to trust him a little.”
“Maybe,” I agree with another shrug, then bite the inside of my cheek. “About what I said yesterday, that wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry.” In the heat of the moment, I let myself say some really not-so-nice things. I let my emotions get the better of me. I don’t know his story. I can assume and guess what happened when I left, but the truth is I really have no clue, and in all honesty, we were not together. I have no right to feel betrayed by him when I’m the one who insisted we break up.
“We’ll talk.”
“That’s not necessary,” I say immediately. I don’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever.
“It is.”
“It’s not.” I begin to panic. I may be finding a way to get over the hurt I’ve been carrying around, but I don’t want to fall back into any kind of anything with Zach. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
Taking a step toward where I’m seated on the couch. His eyes warm and his voice drops. “I like seeing you in my clothes.”
“What?” I breathe, looking down at the shirt Aubrey gave me. I didn’t even think when I dressed. I just put it on and forgot about it, but seeing it now, I wonder how I didn’t notice it’s a man’s plaid shirt since it’s huge on me hitting me at mid thigh.
“And my socks look cute on you,” he adds, referring to the large wool socks on my feet.
“Oh, um… thanks,” I state like an idiot, peeking up at him. He grins, causing butterflies to dance in my stomach while we stare at each other.
“Ready,” Aubrey calls, and I snap out of my trance. Standing from the couch suddenly, he doesn’t move or take a step back, so my body brushes his as I skirt past him. Rushing toward the front door, I meet Aubrey as she bounds down the stairs wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a long-sleeved red shirt that is three sizes to big for her small frame. Taking in her outfit, I realize the few times I’ve seen her she’s been wearing things that are far to big for her and do nothing to show off the beautiful girl she is.
“Let’s go.” I smile, avoiding looking at Zach again as I swing open the door and step out.
“See ya later, Dad,” I hear her say behind me, as I head down the stairs toward Hunter and Steven, who are standing near the bear that is still unconscious, but is now in a large round cage on wheels attached to the back of the truck.