I close my eyes as those words sink in. They hurt, like a punch to the chest, strong enough to knock my heart out of rhythm so it might never beat right again. “Buster was her security blanket. She loved this bear. She carried him everywhere. She wouldn’t... she wouldn’t just give him up. Especially now. She’s gotta be terrified. She just turned five, and she’s never been away from me until this happened, and now... now she’s really alone, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.”
“If she’s anything like you, Scarlet, she’s resilient.”
“But she shouldn’t have to be,” I whisper. “She doesn’t deserve this. She’s… perfect. She’s smart, and beautiful, and so just good. There’s this kindness inside of her that is so pure, like they took the sunrise and stuck it in this fierce little body. She’s walking sunshine. And ten months is a long time for the sun to go without shining. It’s a long time for her to go without being shown she’s loved. And I don’t know how much longer it’ll be, and all I can think is... will she even remember me? And I think that’s what terrifies me most, that when my story ends, the very last words will be, ‘and she never saw her again’. Because that could happen.”
“Fuck that.”
I look at Lorenzo as I brush stray tears from my cheeks.
“Seriously, fuck that,” he says. “That’s not happening.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m not going to let it.”
I shake my head, letting out an incredulous laugh.
“Look, I get it,” he says. “You have no reason to trust me.”
“You have no reason to help me.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Lorenzo says, shoving to his feet. “I’ve got plenty of reasons to help you.”
I stare at him. “Name one.”
“I can name a dozen.”
I wave at him. “Well, then, go on, I’m listening.”
“One,” he says, “I’m bored as shit and it’s something to do. There’s not a lot else to do right now.”
“That’s a terrible reason.”
“But it’s a reason, nonetheless,” he says. “Two, I don’t like the guy. He thinks he’s better than me. That, alone, makes me want to go after him.”
“That’s a slightly better reason.”
“Three, I’ve already knocked out...” He pauses, counting under his breathing, using his fingers. Unbelievable. “...five self-proclaimed mob bosses, and six is a nice, well-rounded number, so number six needs to happen.”
“That’s just a ridiculous reason.”
“Four,” he continues, “I don’t like kids, don’t want kids, but one thing I dislike more than kids are people who hurt kids, so fuck him.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Five, I raised my brother to save him from a father a lot like Aristov. So if I can help save your daughter, to spare her the same way, you’re goddamn right I’m in.”
“I get it. You’ve made your point.”
“I don’t think I have,” he says. “Six, I like you.”
That one catches me off guard. “You like me.”
“Yeah, I mean, you’re a pain in my ass sometimes, but you’re not half-bad.”
“I’m not half-bad.”
He gazes down at me, a slight smile on his lips. “You’re gorgeous, and smart, and funny... you eat the whole orange and don’t just suck the juice out and throw it away like other people. That makes you a catch in my book.”
I’m not sure how to react to that. Tears swim in my eyes, but now he’s got me blushing. What the hell? “I’m a catch?”
“Don’t let that shit get to your head,” he says right away. “Never in there did I say I wasn’t still throwing your ass back when this is all done.”
He says that, but I’m still blushing. “Noted.”
“Seven, you just cried like a bitch in front of me, and I never want that to happen again. I don’t like it.”
“Are you done yet?”
“No,” he says. “Reasons eight through eleven, that pussy of yours is beautiful.”
I roll my eyes.
His leg shoots out, kicking my shin hard enough that I wince.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice sounding pretty damn serious as he says that. “Roll your eyes all you want, but I happen to think pussy is a damn good reason to go to battle.”
“Fine,” I say, “is that it?”
“Just one more,” he says, squatting down in front of me. “Reason number twelve, you’ve got a mini-me out there somewhere, and I kind of want the chance to meet a little Scarlet.”
“You don’t like kids,” I point out.
“True, I don’t,” he says. “But she’s your kid, which means there’s a decent chance she’s not half-bad, either.”
I stare at him.
I don’t know what to say.
His words sound so genuine. This isn’t the reaction I expected. Not to say I didn’t think he had it in him. But I’m used to being kicked while I’m down, and I haven’t quite figured out what to make of Lorenzo. Sometimes, when I look at him, I see the dangerous, cold-hearted criminal, the one that has killed at least two men since we met two months ago, but other times I see a man with a deep soul, generous and warm, the kind of man a woman could fall in love with if she wasn’t careful.
But I have to be careful.
“Come on,” Lorenzo says, standing up again, offering me his hand. “The sun’s up now, which means another day of bullshit is upon us, and I really need to acquire some breakfast if I’m going to do something about your little Pearl.”
I take his hand, letting him yank me to my feet. I know I must look like hell, having cried my eyes out and forgone sleep, but he doesn’t seem bothered by it. “Pearl?”
“Yeah, the kid in The Scarlet Letter? Didn’t you read the book in school?”
“I dropped out at fourteen,” I remind him. “I was pregnant at fifteen. Reading the classics wasn’t really on the syllabus at the Aristov residence.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his face twisting with a grimace. “I just did math in my head.”
“And that disturbs you?”
“When the math I’m doing is how old Aristov was when he knocked you up, yeah.”
I want to point out that he has no idea exactly how disturbing that time of my life was, but I let it drop. I’m tired of thinking about Kassian. I’m tired of the way he still controls my life. So I pull myself together, tuck Buster under my arm, and glance around, my eyes grazing over the colorful horizon.
The sun is up, shining brightly.
I didn’t watch it happen, but I still feel like a weight has been lifted. I almost feel hopeful again.
I glance back at Lorenzo, noticing he’s watching me. “I still think you’re a fool for helping me, but thank you. Really.”
He stares in silence for a moment, his expression passive, before he says, “Yeah, well, who’s more foolish... the fool or the fool who follows him?”
“Good question, Obi-wan.”
I start to walk away when Lorenzo grabs my arm, stopping me, pulling me toward him. “You’ve seen Star Wars?”
“Of course.”
“See, I’m sure now more than ever before that I’m going to help you.” Lorenzo’s expression cracks with a smile. “Reason number thirteen, Scarlet: I may just be your only hope.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The little girl didn’t like playing games anymore.
She was stuck in a stupid match of tug-of-war, digging her heels into the ground, trying to hold on, but the Tin Man was too strong for her.
Every time she pulled away, he tugged harder.
She locked herself in the bedroom, not wanting to ever see him, so he took the door off of the hinges, giving her no space. She refused to eat, not having an appetite, not even when he got her some peanut butter and jelly, so he force-fed her, shoving the food in her mouth.