I’d never felt more cheap than I did in that moment, and I was fully clothed, a rarity for someone of my old profession. Designers had made me feel beautiful, my friends had made me feel flawless, and this man had stripped every bit of confidence with one mocking grin.
“You’re a bit of a celebrity around here, Lisa.”
I looked down.
“So…” His right foot tapped against the ground. “…I know it must be difficult to fit in, but the later you are, the more attention you command. Do you understand what I’m saying? If you truly desired to blend in…” His voice trailed off.
“I’d be on time.” My voice wavered as I blinked back tears. “I swear it won’t happen again. I lifted my head. “I had an issue with my mailbox again, and then the girl wasn’t being very helpful, and I forgot breakfast and—”
He held up his hand. “I don’t need your excuses or justifications. I just need your attendance and focus for the next semester. Think you can handle that?”
I took a step back and nodded.
“Good.” He stood, towering over me. His shoulders relaxed but only slightly. A piece of copper hair fell across his eyebrow, giving him a boyish look, though he exuded nothing but anger and sensuality. I was loath to admit that last part because he was such a jackass. “You may leave now.”
Had Gabe been there, he probably would have been up in the professor’s face. Even Wes wouldn’t have stood for it, and Wes didn’t even like killing spiders. Respect was huge for them, and this guy was using his authority in all the wrong ways, throwing his weight around like I was nothing more than an annoyance.
“Lisa?” Professor Blake’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t you have a class to go to?”
“Right.” I clamped my mouth shut even though I wanted to talk back The last thing I needed was to get in trouble or not pass my classes; they were all I had. If I didn’t focus on school, I’d focus on the stalker or even my past. Both of those were out. I couldn’t go there, refused to even dwell on it. “Thanks, Professor, for your… um, advice.”
He seemed surprised; his face scrunched up a bit before he coughed into his hand and turned away.
Somehow my response had made him uncomfortable. I just didn’t know why.
I checked my watch and groaned as I stepped into the hall. If I didn’t run, I was going to be late. Again.
CHAPTER FOUR
I never had a pet growing up. What I had was Mel. Damn, she was spirited. I enjoyed breaking that spirit; I relished in the evil I’d made her do and laughed when she started falling with me, when I no longer had to pressure her to pick on the weak. My greatest accomplishment was the day she’d come up with the idea to end all ideas. A death dare for all the new recruits in our group of friends. That was the night I told her I loved her — but I didn’t really love her. I loved what she made me feel. I loved that, instead of being afraid of me, she fed the beast. She fed me more than my heroin addiction, more than the coke, more than the girls, the fast cars. She filled me temporarily, but I knew it would come to an end someday. She had a conscience, whereas I did not, so it would end, and I’d have to change tactics with her. —The Journal of Taylor B.
Tristan
I HADN’T EXPECTED her to be so docile. It was a direct contradiction to what Taylor had written about in his journal. For a minute, possibly a second, a seed of doubt started to grow, but I squashed it down. I was doing this for me, for my family. I had no proof that she was the same girl Taylor wrote about, only a sneaking suspicion; the names matched, the description matched, and I’d found a few pictures of her in that same journal.
What had happened? How had she pushed him over the edge? Why hadn’t she told someone? She was so young; so was he. Granted, I knew an apology was probably in order, but I didn’t even know what the hell I was apologizing for or how to do it. I was torn between feeling guilty about how he’d supposedly treated her, and furious that she’d been responsible for him jumping off that bridge.
My body gave an involuntary shudder, pissing me off all the more. I wasn’t this guy, the one hell-bent on revenge. I didn’t even recognize the foreign feeling anymore. On the outside I was the same; but inside it was like a storm was brewing, just waiting to implode from the inside out. I gripped the edge of the desk and took a few soothing breaths, closing my eyes, returning my focus to the words on those pages, the words that sealed my fate, the ones that sealed hers.
She’d helped destroy him.
So by rights — I should destroy her. That’s how life worked, the yin and the yang.
If my parents could see me now. Yeah, it wouldn’t be pride; then again, they’d done nothing to help. If anything, they’d been the first catalyst, followed by her.
Her bright blue eyes flashed in my line of vision.
They matched that blue streak in her hair.
The one I couldn’t stop staring at, the one that kept distracting me from my lecture. I hadn’t actually planned on ending class so early, but the woman was too distracting. One look and I was just as lost as he’d been. She was like a poison, one I needed to suck out, to destroy.
Falling for her would be easy.
Getting her to fall for me would be the hard part. Relationships were built on trust, and I was going to gain hers. But first? A healthy dose of fear and respect. After all, I knew exactly how her mind worked. She responded to challenges. Fear gave her courage. So I was going to be a damn fearsome professor — and she’d love me more for it.