Irritated, I raised my voice. “Wes, Saylor is the most annoying, irritating, undesirable girl I’ve come across in the past four years since being here at school — and that’s saying a lot. Drop it, man. Besides, I thought we were going to talk.”
Someone gasped next to me.
I turned and came face to face with Saylor. Her eyes blurred with a mixture of tears and hostility as she pushed between us toward the door to the lobby.
The door slammed behind her
Wes winced. “Think she heard?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I wanted to hit him, to hit something.
His eyes flashed. “Can I be honest?”
“I’d rather you just not talk for a while, but sure,” I grumbled, fingers itching to rearrange his smug face.
He shrugged. “If you can’t even be honest about who you’re attracted to — with your best friend, then we have no business talking about your past. You’re not ready. You want to tell me out of guilt. I want you to tell me because you want to. Because you want help — because you need it — not because it’s time you told me. Hell, I know most of it anyway.”
I scowled. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Tell me your story,” Wes said smoothly. “Not when it’s your last option — but when it’s your first. Don’t come to me when you’ve finally used up every ounce of strength you have to push me away and lie. Come to me when I’m your first choice. Because right now, you’re not ready and I’m about five seconds away from knocking you on your sorry ass.”
My breath came out in a gust as if he’d just punched me in the stomach. Where the hell did he come off saying those things to me? I wanted to yell, to scream, but when I opened my mouth only a croak escaped.
Wes slapped me on the shoulder and walked toward the door. With his hand hovering over the handle, he turned and said, “By the way, your dad’s been looking for you.”
“How—”
“I took care of it. I was at admin when he stopped by and made sure he was satisfied with the lie. But Gabe… your time’s up. You need to start thinking about how you’re going to handle this — if at all. Running isn’t the answer, but neither is exposing that poor girl to that life again. Just… make a decision and know that when you do. I’ll be ready to listen.” With that, he walked off, making me feel like even more of an ass than when we started.
Shit.
I hated that he was right almost as much as I hated that I was wrong. Damn it! I kicked the brick wall with the toe of my boot over and over again until I thought my toe might have broken.
“Easy, killer,” Lisa said, coming up behind me. “Walls don’t fight back.”
“Go away.” My voice shook.
“Wes texted.”
I groaned, what? It took him two seconds to text Lisa and tattle? Awesome.
“Wes needs to stay the hell out of my life.”
“Ash—”
“Don’t.” I shook my head. “Just don’t, Lisa. I can’t. Not right now.”
“We’re family.”
I laughed out loud at that and looked at her straight in the eyes when I said, “Funny… the first lie we told.”
Chapter Eighteen
What had I ever done to him? Besides listened to him beat the crap out of a piano and open a stupid window? Nothing. Gabe was bad news — bad, bad, news. He was a thunderstorm and he’d caught me without an umbrella. —Saylor
Saylor
I took the stairs two at a time, fighting tears the entire way. I didn’t want Lisa to see me this way. And I sure as heck didn’t want to cry actual tears over an ass**le like Gabe.
Sure. I knew I wasn’t supermodel caliber, but did he have to say it that way? Did he have to be so harsh? Hot embarrassment washed over me all over again. His face — it was complete and utter revulsion. Like I smelled and carried some sort of incurable disease.
My chest hurt.
I hated that feeling. I’d spent way too long with that feeling when I was young. When Eric cried all the time, it made me cry because I was helpless. I couldn’t help him. He was lost in his own mind, unable to differentiate between someone wanting to help and someone hurting him. At the time, we hadn’t known it, but he’d been suffering with a sensory processing disorder on top of everything else.
It had been a while since I’d cried.
My tears even tasted bitter. Did it matter what Gabe thought of me? So he thought I was ugly. So he hated me. It meant nothing, right?
Except for some reason he was stalking me.
Well, not really stalking, but when I’d left the Home earlier that day I was told that Gabe had free reign over the entire property, and that if I had a problem I should just ask Gabe.
As if it was the easiest dang thing in the universe.
Just asking Gabe was akin to walking into the It’s A Small World ride, and then not having the song stuck in your head for the next twelve hours.
Freaking impossible.
By the time I reached Lisa’s floor, my tears had dried up. I could do this. I had a few weeks until school was over. All I had to do was pass this one class. What was the worst that could happen? So Gabe hated me. So he was a volunteer at the same place I depended on for that passing grade and my scholarships.
It was fine.
It would be totally, absolutely fine.
Chapter Nineteen
There was a sickness in my soul — it was starting to take hold. It seeped into every part of my existence. The name of my sickness? Well that’s the fun part. I had three. Gabe, Ashton, and Parker. And they say people with multiple personalities have problems. I’d do anything to kill off all of mine — the only problem? That left me with nothing. And she wouldn’t have wanted that. No, that desire was all mine. All. Mine. —Gabe H.