Fingers tingling, I reached for it and shook. His smile lit up my world. It shattered my previous existence, and again the same eerie feeling washed over me. Like I was running out of time, or maybe like the darkness was coming again. I tried to pull free but he held me there.
I hated that feeling of losing control. Usually the meds helped, but right then it was like his eyes were asking me to jump into the blackness with him and I wasn’t so sure I was ready for that.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, taking a piece of my hair from the ponytail and examining it.
“What is?”
“Your first day of class.” A sad smile crossed his face. “What else would I be talking about?”
“Oh, you know… life,” I joked, trying to get his other smile back.
“Right.” His smile faded as he swallowed hard. “Well, sweet dreams, Kiersten. Think of me.”
“And your eight pack?” I offered.
He threw his head back and laughed. “Wow, I needed that. Thanks. Friend.”
“Anytime…” I fought to keep myself from touching him “Friend.”
“I think you may be the best friend I’ve ever had.” He didn’t move. Instead he watched me, and his eyes seemed to take in every detail about me as if I was going to disappear or something.
“That’s a good thing right?”
“I wish I knew.” He pointed down the hall. “My room beckons me, as does a five a.m. practice. Night.”
Chapter Nine
A gift? A curse? Who knew… but time was running out.
Weston
I groaned over the toilet, losing all my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the protein shake I’d just choked down. I hated throwing up. It made me feel like a little kid all over again. My mom had always been there when I was sick.
Now it was just my dad.
And he sent people to do his dirty work. Not that he didn’t love me, he just had bigger things to deal with than his son tossing up his cookies. I was glad I was sick all night. It meant I was getting it out of my system before practice. Even on my worst day, I was still better than half the guys out there.
I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard, especially after the new round of meds, but I’d wanted to help Kiersten. Her innocence called to me, just like her darkness. Damn, but I could almost see the dark cloud billowing over her head. I’d lived through that and more. Sometimes her smile was fake, other times she was so damn concerned with what others thought about her that I wanted to shake her. Maybe from the outside it didn’t appear that way, but her eyes, the way they would focus on everything almost as if taking too long to stare at something might bring attention to her. It was weird, seeing a girl who physically screamed look at me, cower into herself.
Friends? Hell no. I was probably the worst idea for her, the worst friend in the entire universe. I’d end up breaking her heart regardless. So I knew I may as well make it as painless as possible. Since I was clearly lacking in the self control department, I’d be the best damn friend she ever had. I just couldn’t attach myself romantically. I wouldn’t do that to her. After all, she had a full happy four years of school left, whereas I was done in a few months.
I threw on my practice jersey and grabbed my keys. I hated walking to practice. It was wet in the mornings; the university was right on the Pacific Ocean, meaning it was always cold this early.
With a sigh, I made a stop at Kiersten’s dorm room and slid a note under her door.
“And so begins the friendship,” I whispered. Maybe I could help her crawl out of that damn cocoon. Maybe it would be enough to leave a smile on my face when I left for good.
Chapter Ten
Maybe the darkness wasn’t closing in like I first assumed. Maybe, I just invited it without knowing?
Kiersten
The alarm jolted me awake. The first thing I realized was that my nightmares hadn’t been as terrible last night. In fact, I didn’t wake up screaming. I wanted to jump into the air and thank God. The medication had been giving me nightmares for months now, but it was worth it if it helped me power through the day.
I turned off the alarm on my phone and shuffled to the door. I was thankful that I had been put in a suite with Lisa. We shared a kitchen and living room with two other girls who were pre-med. Which meant it was like living alone. They didn’t watch TV, they apparently didn’t eat, and when I asked if they were on Facebook I got judgmental looks from both of them.
I yawned and went to start making coffee in the kitchen just as Lisa tumbled out of her room, swearing. “Too early!”
“It’s seven.”
“My point exactly.” She ran her hands through her blond hair and sat at the table. “Where were you last night? I came home and you were already in bed.”
“I was, uh…” I busied my hands pouring the grounds into the filter. “With Weston. He took me to another party and—”
“Whoa!” she croaked. “Another party? Where at?”
“Kappa.” I said.
“NO way!” she screamed. “They have the best parties! Only upperclassmen are invited! Did you meet anyone hot? Were they nice? Did they have drugs? I’ve heard they have drugs. Holy crap, are you going to go back? Should you go back? We need Gabe.”
“You done?”
She inhaled and exhaled twice before nodding. “Yes, I think so.”
“Good.” The coffee started brewing. “Everything seemed normal. It was just a few gorgeous people drinking, eating, and—” I left out the part about Lorelei.