I tell her to hurry her ass over. The house she was renting with Danny is on one of the streets near Marina Grande so it shouldn’t take her long. Even so, the three of us can’t hold off eating any longer. We dig into the food and it’s just as amazing as it looks.
This is what you’re missing, I text to Derio, along with the picture I took.
But there is no response from him.
Luckily, Shay shows up with two bottles of wine—which means she means business—just as we’re done eating and helps me do the dishes and put everything away. Annabella and Alfonso are fascinated by the pretty girl but eventually tire of us talking and go up to their rooms for the night.
It’s too dark and foggy out to relax on the patio so we stay in the kitchen to drink and talk. Shay does most of the talking at first. She’s brokenhearted over Danny and has no idea what to do with herself.
“But you have to go somewhere,” I tell her. “You can’t stay here.”
She frowns at me, her pink lips pouting. “Why not?”
“Would you want to stay on Capri if it reminded you of the last place you were in love? I don’t know, I think I’d feel so . . . trapped. If we break up, I’m definitely not sticking around this rock. I love it and all but . . . it’s not home without him.”
She appraises me through her long lashes. “Are you breaking up?”
“No,” I quickly say, taking a gulp of my wine. “Not at all. I’m just saying.”
She sighs. “Yeah. You’re right, though. I won’t be staying here for long. But if I go back home there’s a tiny chance I won’t be allowed in Europe for a while so I might as well stay here while I can.”
“What are you going to do?”
She shrugs and looks at her nails, which are painted bright coral. Actually, she’s wearing a fair amount of makeup, which is a change because when I first met her she wasn’t wearing much at all. I guess she’s trying to make herself feel pretty after losing Danny. I know I always lost revenge weight after a relationship went wrong.
“I was thinking I would go up to Scandinavia. Finland, Sweden, Norway.” She gets this faraway look in her eyes. “I had an ex-boyfriend in high school I was madly in love with. He was from Norway. I’ve been interested in the country ever since.”
I raise my brow. “Hunting down your ex-boyfriend in Norway sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not saying I would hunt him down. I don’t even know where he lives, if he lives there at all. But it’s a beautiful country, and maybe I’ll meet a sexy Viking. They can’t all be assholes who cheat on you.” She spits out that last part and then her face crumbles.
“Oh, Shay,” I whisper. “Did Danny cheat on you?”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She blinks, looking up at the ceiling, and waves her fingers at her eyes. It seems to keep her tears at bay. “I’m not staying here.”
I raise my glass. “Well, it will be a shame to see you go.”
She gives me a grateful smile and clinks her glass against mine. “I know. I wish we’d gotten to know each other better.”
I take a sip of wine, wanting to finish the whole glass in one go. It’s just one of those kind of nights. “That’s my fault. You kept inviting me but I just couldn’t find the time.”
“It’s no one’s fault,” she says. “It’s just life.” She looks around her at the kitchen and the rest of the house. “I don’t understand how you can do this, to be honest. I mean, the kids are sweet but you’re practically their mother.”
“I know.”
“And that wasn’t really in the job description. Would you have applied for the position at all if you knew you were going to be a nanny like this?”
“No.”
“And you’re not even a nanny, Amber. You’re like . . . I don’t know. A superhero. I know you get paid for this but how long are you planning to keep this up?”
I frown and my chest gets this cold feeling. “What do you mean?”
She purses her lips together before speaking. “I mean, you’re with Derio. You love him, don’t you? But he’s never here and you’re the one taking on all the work. I know you don’t want to let the kids or him down, but didn’t you have other dreams or plans for your life? Even if you can get this visa to stay here longer, can you continue in this role? You’re so young but suddenly you’re here and you’re thrust into this situation.” She pauses and sends me a sheepish glance. “I’m sorry. I know I don’t even know you that well to be making all these assumptions. I just . . . I feel like one day you’re going to crack, you know? I know what it’s like to resent someone you love. It was Danny’s idea to travel, not mine. And the first month out here, I hated it. I missed my home, my friends, my family. Even my old stupid job at the bookstore. I missed speaking English and having people understand me and I missed my favorite brand of yogurt. And I hated Danny for making me come here. Obviously, I got over it but that resentment was really strong. We almost broke up then. I should have taken that as a sign.”
I’m listening to what she’s saying and taking it all in. It’s filling that cold space in my chest and making it freeze. “I don’t know,” I tell her. “I don’t know what the future holds. All I know is right now, I’m really unhappy. And I want him to be happy. I just wish I could be, too. With the racing now, it just seems like either he’s happy or we’re both not.”