“He might,” Cassie answered.
“I’m not gonna fall,” Chance insisted as I scooted his chair closer to the table.
Gran and Gramps sat at the head of the table while my son sat between my wife and me. I was forced to stare at my brother’s ugly mug throughout the whole meal.
“It was really nice of you to have us all here for dinner,” Gran said in our direction. “Thank you for inviting us.”
“Yeah. I love coming here for meals. Especially if Gran’s cooking,” Melissa added, taking a huge bite of bread.
Cassie leaned forward to give me an encouraging look, and I nodded.
“Well,” I began, “we wanted you all here because I have some news. And I wanted to share it with everyone at the same time.”
All eyes focused on me as the room went silent. Even the boys stopped fidgeting for a second. “I’ve officially decided that this will be my last season playing baseball.”
Suddenly, several voices all rang out at once, each trying to talk over the other. Cassie raised her arms in the air to quiet them down. “Let him finish.”
I looked around and scrunched my face before clarifying, “I was finished.”
Dean’s fork clanged against his plate. “But what about all the offers? You won’t even consider them?” He suddenly turned from a brother to an agent.
“It’s not about the offers,” I said, then my tone turned firm. “I’ve made up my mind.”
“But these are major league, starting rotation offers, Jack. Really solid contracts.”
“I don’t care, Dean.”
Melissa reached over Coby and settled her hand on top of Dean’s arm. It seemed to bring him back to reality and remind him who he was; my brother, not my agent.
“Why now?” Gramps asked, and I felt it was a fair question.
“Honestly? Because I think if I spend any more time playing, I’ll lose it. I’ll lose it all. The love I have for the game. The respect I have for the office that runs it. I’m tired of all the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes.”
“Bad word, Daddy!” Chance yelled.
Coby giggled. “Bad word, Unckie Jack!”
“Sorry, guys.” I really needed to watch my language around the boys. This was going to be an adjustment.
Shaking off my mental list of things to do once I retired from ball, I continued. “But I’m mostly tired of not being around. These past five years have been the hardest ones for me. I might be a success on the baseball field, but I’ve felt like a failure at home.”
“Jack.” Cassie pushed her chair back and wrapped her arms around me from behind. She planted a kiss on the side of my head. “Nothing about you is a failure, do you hear me?”
I wanted to believe her, but I knew it sucked handling everything alone. Whether she wanted to admit it or not. “I appreciate you saying that, Kitten. I do. But it’s hard not to feel like one.”
“Well, knock it off.” She smacked my shoulder before returning to her seat.
“Yeah, Jack,” Gran said sternly. “Don’t do that to yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve been a good husband and a good father while you also juggled a demanding career. No one faults you for that.” The wonderful woman who raised me looked at me, her eyes filled with an odd combination of pride and sadness, and I felt a little twinge in my gut.
“You’re a good person, Jack. I know you don’t always believe that about yourself, but you are. I’m proud of you, son,” Gramps added and I almost f**king lost it. If my brother and Melissa hadn’t been sitting at the table, I probably would have cried like a baby, but I refused to do that in front of them. Dean didn’t need to witness what a complete pu**y I’d turned into.
“I want to be a better husband and a better father. And this is what I need to do it. I hope you all understand.” I chanced another glance at my brother.
“Playing baseball on a professional level is intense, bro. You’ve given up so much to do it, you always have. If you think about it, you’ve never really had a normal life. You’ve always been busting your ass to make your dreams come true. And once they did, the work didn’t stop, it only got harder.” Dean nodded thoughtfully. “It’s your career and I think it’s pretty awesome if you end it on your terms.”
“Thank you. Do you think Marc and Ryan will be pissed?”
“Nah.” He waved me off. “Surprised, maybe, but not pissed. They’ll understand.”
“Congratulations, Jack,” Melissa chimed in. “You have no idea what you’ve been missing.”
“But I do. That’s the whole point.”
“No, you don’t. Not really. Do you even know what summer is? Aside from prime-time ball-playing season?”
I laughed. “I have a vague recollection of this thing you call summer.”
Cassie squeaked as she inhaled sharply. “Oh my gosh! You’ll be here for the fourth of July. And we can have barbeques all summer long! And swim parties! Jack, do you know what this means?” Her eyes practically glowed as she stared at me.
“Yeah, Kitten. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ll get to have a life with you. An actual non-baseball-driven life. Better get used to me being around, because I plan on stalking you for quite a while.”
“Dad, what’s stalking?”
I shot Cassie a freaked-out look. “Uh, it’s when you follow Mommy around the house all day.”