Lauren, sitting next to me, had, as evidenced by the look on her face. I knew that look. It was basically the silent version of why are you so weird? I thought about telling her I had pictured Mr. Ortega dancing, but I didn’t think that would help. Besides, I’d already learned my lesson about saying things out of context, so I just shrugged.
Then I glanced back at the writing on my desk.
The rest of class seemed to pass by a little faster than normal.
I caught up to Isabel in the hall.
“Why are you so smiley?” she asked.
“I always smile.”
She laughed then stopped. “Okay, actually, you do smile a lot, just not usually at school.”
“That’s because high school is a crusher of souls.”
“Not to be dramatic or anything,” she said.
“Exactly.” But she was right. I was feeling light now, and I could only think of one reason why. “You know that band I’ve told you about? Blackout?”
We stopped at her locker and she took out some books from her backpack and shoved them inside. “No. What do they sing?”
I quietly sang a few lines of one song and when recognition didn’t light her face, I switched to another. “No?” I had played them for her several times. It surprised me she hadn’t remembered.
“Sorry, but you do like weird music,” Isabel said, closing her locker with a grin.
“I think you mean awesome music, but whatever.”
“What about them?”
“Someone else knows who they are.”
“Well, I would hope for the band’s sake that you’re not their only fan.”
I smiled. “No, I mean someone here at school. We exchanged a couple lines of lyrics on the desk. It was cool.”
“You wrote on the desk? Are you trying to get in trouble?”
I sighed. She did not understand the significance of this revelation.
A loud laugh sounded from the opposite end of the hall. I turned to look and saw Cade and his crew. Sasha, the only girl in the group, was holding on to his arm. They must’ve been dating now. Not that it would last long. Cade seemed to have a new girl hanging around every week these days. He was looking at his phone while Sasha was talking animatedly to him. It brought back memories of his birthday party again.
After Isabel had snapped me out of my awestruck daze over Cade’s entryway that day, I had followed her into the kitchen, which was at least three times as big as mine. The island was lined with silver food warming-trays that people in white jackets and bowties were removing the lids from. Who had a fourteenth birthday party catered? Cade had leaned against a far counter and was scrolling through his phone like he couldn’t be bothered with his own party. It was Isabel on his arm that he was easily ignoring that day. She’d whispered something to him after a moment and he shoved his phone in his pocket as though angry at having been interrupted. The expression didn’t last long; a second later he’d put on his fake smile and said, “Eat while it’s hot, everyone.” I’d nodded to the trays and said, “Most people serve pizza and cake.” He’d looked at me with that smug arrogance of his and said, “I’m not like most people.”
I’d said something rude back. Something like, “Thank goodness.”
“Can’t you just ignore him? Be nice?” Isabel had pleaded.
That day I couldn’t ignore him, not after how he’d been treating Isabel. Today, I was going to prove to Isabel that I could. As we headed his way, toward the only way out of the building, I would not respond to whatever abuse he threw my way. But he just gave Isabel a dazzling and confident Cade smile, not acknowledging me at all. She returned it. I realized I was glaring, so I smoothed out my features and kept my mouth shut. It was harder than I had imagined.
“Impressive,” Isabel said when we had made it outside.
“What? I just did what I always do.”
She laughed. “But you did notice that he was civil too, right? See what happens when you are nice?”
“Yes … ” Wait, what? Was she implying that I always started arguments with Cade? He started it most of the time. I sighed. I sounded like my seven-year-old brother. Maybe she was right. If I were the bigger person, he’d at least leave me alone. I liked this thought—Cade leaving me alone. Us leaving each other alone. It would make school much more pleasant.
My sister, Ashley, was waiting in a No Parking zone when I climbed in her car.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she said. “How was school?”
“Same.” For a second, I thought about mentioning the desk-writing, but decided against it. If Isabel didn’t get the significance, there was no way Ashley would.
She waited for a group of girls to cross in front of us and then eased forward. “When I went to high school—”
“Last year,” I interrupted.
“Yes. I had to take the bus home or have mom pick me up in the minivan.”
“Mom picked me up in the minivan last week.”
“Well, that was every day for me. Every day, Lily. And I still managed to have lots of friends. You’re lucky I bought a car. A nice car that isn’t embarrassing.” This was a speech she gave often on the ride home. I’d worn out all my sincere responses already.
“Yes, I’m so lucky. Thank you, Ashley. However can I pay you back?” I leaned my head against the side window, wondering if she’d notice if I took a nap.