“You don’t believe that?” I question as he begins washing me up again.
His hands pause, and I can see that he’s really thinking about how to respond. “Like I have told you before, I have never taken anyone else’s opinion into consideration, good, bad, or indifferent. In my business, it’s about how you respond to each and every situation. There has never been a time that I have considered someone’s opinion of me.”
“What about when you have dated?” I ask even though the thought of him with anyone else makes me feel uncomfortable.
“You’re the first woman whose opinion of me I’ve cared about. I was never concerned with an assessment of the kind of man I am from the women I have been with before you.”
“It seems like you’ve closed yourself off from everyone,” I whisper sadly.
“It comes with the territory. I’m not talking about my family or even some of my men, but with others, you never know who could turn on you. You never know if the man who is laughing, showing you pictures of his children, is poisoning your drink behind your back.”
His words cause a wave of sadness to crash over me. I can’t imagine living my life in a constant state of worry, having to be on guard at all times. Without even thinking, I wrap my arms around him and burrow my face into his chest.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him, and his arms, which have wrapped around me, tighten.
“It’s not going to be forever, Myla. I have been working to make sure that I will not have years of this left. When my kids come into this world, they will be able to live normal lives, never knowing about the life their father led before them. It’s important for me that you understand that as well. This is not going to be forever. There will come a time when the house is just ours and there are not going to be others around on a constant basis. I hated having guards when I was growing up. It wasn’t a good feeling when I went to speak with my father only to have one of his men stop me. I don’t want that for my children, and I don’t want that for you.”
“I never thought about that.”
Since I have been with Kai, there has always been someone around, and I have known since day one what they were here for, but I honestly never really thought about what their roles were in being around, never put much thought into why exactly they were here. And now that he has me thinking of it, I wouldn’t want my kids to grow up with constant guards either.
I kiss his chest then step back. He turns off the water and opens the shower door. Then I follow him out, and he wraps a towel around me. I watch as he dries himself off and turns his head to look at me.
“I normally find it annoying that there are people around all the time. But I think I might find them useful tonight,” he mutters.
“Pardon?”
“I only have a few condoms, and they can run to the pharmacy.”
“You wouldn’t,” I gasp.
He kisses the frown off my face then swoops me up into his arms, making me scream out and clutch his shoulders. “I would.” He smiles, tossing me onto the bed before following me down.
“You won’t,” I tell him as he spreads my towel open.
“I will.”
And he does.
It’s after midnight, I am starving, we only have one condom left, and I know that, at the rate we were going, we are going to need to stock up. At this point, I am thankful for having people around. That means I get to ride Kai to completion right before Chinese food and condoms are delivered to the door by one of his men.
Chapter 11
New Dreams
I walk out to the water and dive under, needing to forget the last two hours. My mind is reeling over the information Kai has just shared with me. I do not want to be angry with him about keeping yet another piece of information from me, but I feel like I’m repeating myself over and over.
“Talk to me.”
“Be honest with me.”
“Tell me what’s going on and don’t surprise me with stuff.”
Why is that so hard to understand?! I scream in my head, diving down deeper.
Kai and I had the perfect morning. He woke me up with his mouth between my legs. I love waking up with Kai, but I love even more the way he wakes me up most mornings—like I’m his breakfast and he’s starving.
I have learned over the last week that Kai likes me on my hands and knees in front of him, and normally, after he has his fill of me, he flips me onto my stomach and pounds into me until his own orgasm takes him over. But this morning, he didn’t do that. He took me slowly, his face close to mine while he rocked gently into me. I loved it, every moment of it, and when I was looking into his eyes as the waves of my orgasm hit me, I could have sworn I saw love there as he looked down at me.
When we finally got out of bed and showered, we had a small breakfast out on one of the balconies before heading into his office. I hadn’t had a job and had gotten to the point that I was ready to jump out the window if I didn’t find something to do with my days, so Kai had told me that I could help him out and get him organized. His office was a mess. There were papers and folders everywhere, and he didn’t even seem to have a system.
So, a few days ago, I started getting things separated and put away into a filing cabinet I found, and then I scanned others things that could go straight into the computer. Today, I found a paper with my name on it. I was confused by the wording and didn’t really understand what I was looking at, so I took it over to Kai, who had just gotten off the phone. When he saw the paper in my hand, his face had closed off and my stomach had dropped.