That fear stayed firmly rooted in the back of my mind at all times, that we had an expiration date. I wanted to think that this was different, that I was different, but what if that was how every girl felt when they were with him?
I assumed they must have.
I tried to keep my feelings within reason when it came to him, but I struggled. Everything Nick did made me fall for him more. The confident, arrogant guy I’d seen from afar was still both of those things, but there were so many more layers underneath those two superficial ones. There was much more to Nick than I could have ever imagined, and I found it hard to believe that he had shared the things he had with me with all those other girls as well.
Rachel walked through the front door and slammed it behind her. “Please tell me that Nick asked you to formal,” she shouted as she entered her bedroom.
I could have sworn I’d already told her that he had. I knew for a fact that I had told her; there’s no way I would have kept that to myself.
“What’s formal?” I shouted back to her, completely teasing.
“Shut up, dummy. I know Nick asked you. You told me already.”
“Then why are you acting like you don’t know?” I sat there confused as all hell.
“Because I’m going crazy right now.” She wrung her hands as she entered the kitchen.
“Why?” I asked, still not having any idea what her deal was.
“Because Trevor asked me to go with him.”
I squealed like an annoying girl. “Shut up! Wait a second, you and Trevor? Are you two back together? What happened with you guys last year, anyway?”
She smiled and squirmed a little. “I was an idiot. I broke up with him because I never thought he really liked me.”
“Wait, what? Anyone with eyes could see how crazy he was about you.”
“I always questioned everything. The parties, the other girls, the constant presence of the sorority girls. All of it. I felt like I was always competing for his attention, so I took myself out of the equation completely. It seemed easier that way, but it hurt a hell of a lot.”
Her admission shocked me. Rachel wasn’t the kind of girl who lacked confidence or seemed competitive like that—she was one of the fiercest girls I knew. I never realized that under her tough Latina exterior lay a girl with normal fears like the rest of us.
“I would have never guessed.”
“What can I say? I was an immature, idiotic freshman. Also, first year is super overwhelming. I didn’t handle anything that year very well.”
“It was a huge adjustment.”
I nodded, thinking back to how living on our own for the first time felt. To be honest, it was weird not having my mom around to wake me up for school, to ask me if my homework was done or if my grades were good enough. It was the first time I’d truly felt somewhat like an adult, minus paying bills and working full-time.
“Thankfully, he was willing to forgive me, and we’re trying again.”
“I always thought he was nice.”
“He is.”
When she gave me a dopey smile, I resisted the urge to tease her. Instead, I basked in the fact that she seemed happy.
“So, what’s formal like?”
“Pretty much what you’d expect, but with lots of sorority girls. Which is annoying because when you’re not one of them, you’re fully aware that you aren’t one of them.”
“Are they mean?” I asked, suddenly wondering what I had gotten myself into.
“Not really. You’re not in the Greek system, so they’ll most likely ignore you.”
“Okay then.” I laughed uncomfortably. “I’m excited about it, anyway.”
“You should be. You’ll have the hottest date there.” She waggled her eyebrows. “And now we can go shopping for dresses together.”
“Thank God. You know I can’t be trusted to shop alone.”
I was a terrible shopper. The second I walked through the mall doors, I wanted to turn around and go back home. While most girls seemed to live for all things fashion, I couldn’t care less about any of it. My style was definitely more comfort over anything else.
Rachel grinned. “You are a bad shopper. But you have cute fashion sense, even if you don’t realize it. You would have done all right for yourself.”
I shook my head, smirking at her assessment.
“All right, gotta jet to class. See you later.” She gave me a quick hug before running out the door.
Later that evening, I had my books spread out across the kitchen table, my laptop open, and handwritten notes everywhere. My cell phone beeped a text notification while I was in the middle of writing, but I ignored it. After the fourth text in less than a minute, I finally tore myself away from my studies to read it.
Please tell me you’re listening to KRAS right now.
I scrolled through the other texts to see they all basically said the same thing, demanding I turn on the radio. I jumped from my chair and hurried to the stereo in our living room to click the power button before turning the dial to the right station.
Nick’s laughter filled the living room.
“So, tell us your question for Grand Master Paz, Nick,” the DJ asked.
“All right.” Nick cleared his throat. “I was calling because I wanted to get your advice on something about my girl.”
His girl? Me? What on earth could he possibly want to know from a Compton rapper about me?
“Ask away, Nick. I’ll see if I can help.”