“Dallas. Zach’s twin, not that they look alike. He’s…we’re not really sure where he is.” She picked at a thread on her jeans.
“You’ve got a lot of people watching out for you.”
“Yeah,” she said with a wry smile. “Sometimes too many.”
No. They might be a pain in his ass, but he was glad for it. Glad she had people looking out for her. He had a flash of what it might be like if that was his job. If it was, he’d be on guard for men like himself.
He took her hand and played with her fingers, marveling at how small they were. Her nails short and unpainted, not girlie in a flashy way, but utterly feminine. It couldn’t have been easy growing up without a mother. God help Lizzy if she’d been raised by her brothers.
He flipped through the channels and they agreed on a college basketball game. They replayed impressive shots, argued bad calls. He’d forgotten about the quiet times with a woman. Not chasing or enjoying what he’d caught, but just being. It was easy and natural when it should have been neither.
“I saw Lola today,” she said after a while. “She asked about you.”
Stephen slid his arm closer around her shoulder and stroked his fingers over her hair. He loved the feel of it and of her body leaning into his.
“You know…” she began, then stopped.
“What?”
“I just…I noticed how great you were with her, and you seemed…different with your nieces and nephews.”
Had it been that obvious? He made a sound in his throat and nodded slowly.
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know.” He studied the remote in his hand. “I guess I don’t see them much.” Not like he used to. Which explained nothing, since he’d never met Lola. Except maybe that’s what had made it easier.
“Why don’t you see them?”
Because he wasn’t the same man they’d known before? Because he never would be. Because the kinds of things he imagined doing didn’t make him fit to be around children. Or Hannah. Though when he was with her, his dark side seemed to pale a bit.
She angled her head back to meet his eyes. “They’re all you have, you know.”
“Yeah.” He knew. And they’d been close before. Very close. But they weren’t all he had. He had Trace, and though he may not have her, sitting here with Hannah was definitely…something. That very thought should have him running. “So what are the plans for the more you mentioned that you wanted to do here?”
“Not plans really, just ideas.”
“And?”
“Well, I was thinking maybe more than riding. More ways kids could be active outside, do their physical therapy without it feeling like work. They’ve already been hurt so much. Maybe more animals, rescue dogs, abused horses. A place they could all heal together.”
“Like things kids would normally do playing with their friends. Maybe a special playground with ramps and pulleys?”
She sat up to face him. “Yes. You get it. You see it.” She told him more about animals and kids, her eyes shining with excitement, her voice animated.
He loved seeing her happy like this and he did see it. The play set in Matt’s backyard with modifications. Ropes and harnesses for the rock wall and monkey bars, special swings. Plans began to form in his mind, and he decided then and there, she wasn’t going to lose this land.
She settled back against him again, resting her head in the space between his chest and shoulder. “What about you? Any dreams or have you already achieved them all?”
“I don’t know.” He’d made enough money, outwitted enough worthy opponents. There had to be something more.
“I think you’d be good at building. You know, the actual planning part. You see things others don’t, like where benches should be to watch sunsets.”
His chest tightened. He’d barely made mention of that at the boardwalk, practically made the comment under his breath. But Hannah had listened and remembered. More than that, she saw something good in the man he was now. Not wanting him to be anything other than what he was in this moment. What he might be in the future. Who did he have in his life who hadn’t known him before and wasn’t waiting for him to return to his old self? Not counting his flings between the sheets, who he made sure didn’t see any side of him.
They were quiet awhile and he combed his fingers through her hair, letting the cool silk of it fall over his hands. He imagined the soft pieces falling over his nude body, imagined she was naked against him. He continued the motion. Peaceful. Mesmerizing. Or as peaceful as he could get sitting this close to her, because he we also getting very hot. “I love your hair.”
She took hold of a section, wrapped it around her finger, and pulled it across her face.
“Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Hide,” he said, covering her hand with his and easing it down.
“I’m not. I…don’t.” She let it go. “Bad habit, I guess.”
Leaning around to face her, he lifted up long strands and brushed them over his lips, under his nose. He breathed in the fruity scent, sighed at the baby softness. “I could get in the habit.”
Color rose in her creamy cheeks and it made him hot knowing he could make her flush with just a look. He slid one arm around her back and captured her mouth in a deep, probing kiss. They explored, stroked; tasting her again made him crave more. He ached for her in a way that felt like a lot more than want and taking a dangerous slide toward need.