When he pulled into his parking spot at school, I could see people, mainly girls, turning to watch his truck approach. They saw me sitting there close to him. Not a single female looked happy. It wasn’t my first day arriving in his truck, but it was the first time I ever rode right beside him.
He parked the truck, leaned down, until his lips captured mine. He then kissed me. Really kissed me. The toe curling kind of kiss that made you forget to breathe. My right hand reached up to grab his shoulder. His face tilted and the kiss deepened. The minty taste of his toothpaste was the most delicious thing I’d ever had touch my tongue.
A banging noise stopped us and Asher sighed, pulling back just a little so that he could look directly into my eyes. “Ignore them. Anything they say. Especially Bray. He’s a smartass.”
Before the last word left his mouth, Asher’s door was jerked open. Bray and Brent Sutton were standing there grinning like we were the funniest thing they’d ever seen.
“I’m tired of having to get a fucking ride to school. You can do this shit with us in the truck. Dix don’t care, do you, Dix? Hell, I’ll even drive and you two can suck face the entire way to school.” Bray Sutton was dangerous, sexy and dark. Very different from his friendly, good-natured twin. You’d think they were born on different continents, if they didn’t look exactly alike.
“Move out of the fucking way,” Asher snarled.
“I’m serious, I’ll drive and make comments. We can throw the other three dipshits in the back and let them air. You two can then go at it. Just give me a warning before any sexy shit starts. I might have to pull over and watch.”
“Jesus! Shut the hell up!” Asher yelled, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “I’m sorry, Dixie, but you already know there’s not an excuse for him. He has no filter.”
I was smiling. Giggling, really. These boys had been in my life for as long as I could remember. I knew them all. Every single one. Though I’d only loved Asher from the start.
“It’s okay,” I assured him.
Asher briefly kissed my lips. He got out of the truck, pushing Bray back, then held out his hand for me.
“Always knew it would be you two. Steel makes more sense, but she only noticed you. Ain’t that right, Dix?” Brent asked, with his friendly smile in place.
I blushed and Asher pulled me against him. “If you two assholes don’t leave my girl alone, you’ll all be walking to school.”
They went back and forth with each other. I could hear them, but their words weren’t registering at all. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the fact that Asher Sutton had just called me his girl. I didn’t stop smiling all day.
Asher Sutton
HER BEAUTIFUL FACE crumpled from my words and I hated myself for that. I hated the air that I breathed. That all I knew how to do was hurt her. When all I wanted was to cherish Dixie. Love her. Make her happy.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No,” she repeated, tears flowing freely down her face. “I don’t believe that. You’re pushing me away. Trying to hurt me again. I won’t listen to you. You’re lying. This hurts you, too. I just can’t figure out why you’re doing this. Why you’re destroying us both.” She then took a step toward me. I took a step back. I didn’t trust myself that close to her. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms. Tell her everything would be okay, which I knew it would never be.
“Please, tell me. Tell me why you left me. At least give me that, Asher. I gave you everything and you threw it all away like it meant nothing to you. I loved you and you just used me and left me. You were the only man I wanted. I thought we were forever. You said we were forever. That you would never want anyone else. That I was everything to you.” She was crying uncontrollably now.
“You were!” I roared. I couldn’t stand here any longer and let her keep believing she’d meant nothing to me. I knew I let her down. I knew I’d crushed her. I knew all that. But this had to end. “You were it for me. Dammit, Dixie, you probably always will be. But we can’t be. There are things you don’t know that make anything between us impossible. Things I won’t tell you, things I’ll take to the grave because I can’t hurt you anymore. I did hurt you and I’m sorry. I will be sorry for the rest of my life. But you’ll move on and fall in love with a guy who can love you back. Stay with you forever.” I paused as Steel’s white truck came around the house. He had to face her now. This had to be finished and done. “And Steel can’t love you either.”
“Steel loves me,” Dixie replied, her voice cracking again.
“Of course he does. Anyone that gets a chance to know you loves you almost immediately. You’re . . . you . . . Dix. You’re you.” I was going to say too much. I stopped talking and clenched my teeth as Steel parked his truck and climbed out. He looked pale. Like he’d been sick. He had to be stronger than this. Facing this shit was something no one should ever suffer. But we had to, thanks to the man we once thought hung the moon. He’d left behind a legacy of lies. One that would leave me soulless and hollow for the rest of my life.
“Steel, what’s wrong?” Dixie asked. The concern in her voice made me jealous. I was being ridiculous, Dixie was my sister, and I was still being jealous over her. This disgusting, twisted, unfair life that our father had thrown our way was so fucking insane, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
I could sense Steel looking for help. I couldn’t do this for him. He had to end it. Send her away. “Remember what I said,” I told him, hoping that he understood. I wanted him to hold her when she broke.
“I can’t,” he responded, shaking his head. I wasn’t sure what he meant. What was it that he couldn’t do? Steel couldn’t stay with her. He knew that.
“Dixie, you’re our sister.” The words fell from his lips before I could register in my head exactly what he meant. He just said it. Steel just told her.
I heard her gasp and as if in slow motion, I watched as confusion filled her eyes when Dixie turned and looked back at me. I had to fix this. He couldn’t do it this way. Not to Dixie. She’d never recover. He was going to ruin her too. She’d be as empty as I’d become.
“Your mom . . .” Steel said as I yelled, “no,” stopping my brother from saying anything else. Why had I trusted him? What the fuck had I been thinking? I’d given him the power to hurt my Dixie. “Don’t do this,” I told him, as I moved quickly toward Steel. “ . . . had an affair with our dad,” he finished. The words were the last thing that came out of his mouth before my fist slammed into his jaw, knocking him back against his truck. If it had been anyone other than my brother, I would’ve continued to pummel him senseless, until he blacked out, or until he couldn’t speak anymore.
I stood above him as he grabbed his jaw, glaring up at me. “She deserved to know,” he said, his slurring from the impact noticeable.
“She didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this,” I replied, shaking my head.
“Asher?” Dixie’s soft voice came from behind me and I tensed having to face her.
“Fucking tell her. She knows now. Finish it,” Steel said, remaining on the ground, holding his swelling face.
A hand touched my arm softly and I winced. I didn’t want Dixie to touch me. I couldn’t stand the memory of that. When she grabbed me before, I felt her anger. That was okay, but her gentle touch was something I couldn’t bear right now. I said, “Dixie, you don’t want to hear this,” unable to turn around and face her.
“Yes, I do,” she replied.
“Don’t, Dix. Just leave. Run like hell and don’t come near us again. Go home to that house up there and let your daddy hold you tight. Remind yourself you’re loved and you deserve a fairytale. Not what you’ll get down here. We can’t give you . . . anything. Not a fucking thing,” I spoke, then backed away, not wanting to look in her eyes.
“Is he telling the truth? Did your . . . am I . . .” she trailed off, her voice turning into a whisper.
“Our sister Dixie. You’re our sister.” Steel spoke and again I charged him. Two arms wrapped around mine, jerking me back. “Don’t. He’s right. This shit is something she needs to hear, Asher. It’s her life too,” Bray said. His voice was strained as I pulled against his hold, wanting to shut Steel up. “Can’t believe you kept this goddamn shit to yourself,” Bray said, pain etched in his words.